Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@monsterblue The first time I met Spike, I reached out to pet him. Now, this was foolish and impudent of me to start with. Bookstore cats are the most jaded creatures on the face of the earth, pettings are an inflated and virtually worthless currency to them, and I was lucky to get away without blood being shed.

But Spike, he just looks straight at me. And I could swear I see him shake his head "no" a little. And he just reaches out with both paws, claws totally retracted, and just HOLDS me by the wrist and STARES until I get the message and back off. And then he goes straight back to sleep.

I felt I had learned something very important about interpersonal relationships from Spike that day.

Oh, and even though I'm about 90% sure they were identified as biologically XY by the Trap-Neuter-Release folks who snipped them, and I'm sure I've mentioned this several times, Olive's new Food Guy still absolutely persists on calling them a "her."

Which is hilarious because I had called her Olivia prior to her snippage too! So... yeah, even our kittens turn out trans. :D :D :D Guess that settles that I go back to calling her Olivia! Although he just calls her Wilykit and her brother Wilykat apparently. :D

You hear that, Spike? I didn't forget what you taught me! I raised my kids right!

(Spike was a transmale housecat I met at a lesbian-owned bookstore in Cambridge, MA. Spike's owners described him as a "gender warrior." Spike was a judo master. This is not even my only story about Spike. Spike was a great cat, the third greatest cat I've met outside of Clan Shadow. The second was the late and much-missed Ginger, who taught me that head-chewing is a valid from of affection. The greatest of all, Seraph, is a story for another day.)

https://twitter.com/zebratron2084/status/1454295886658428931

@anthracite NO 😾

@Phorm @xinjinmeng Oh, it's THAT kind of play, is it? 🤨

@Phorm @xinjinmeng *grins salaciously at the both of you* "Nothing to be done. So... what are you doing with your boots? Pity we haven't got a bit of rope. Someone's sure to come tomorrow."

@JulieSqveakaroo @001zlnv Pac-Quack!

@JulieSqveakaroo WHOOOOOOOOOO!

So there was a weird noise coming from out back this morning and it freaked me out.

And I finally puzzled together what it was: someone was going through the abandoned apartment across the alley and throwing out a bunch of furniture. Like, literally throwing it hand-over-fist onto a heap on the law.

Well, the basement of that apartment is one of the cats' major neighborhood hidey-holes.

And we don't even know that they're doing anything more with that apartment *or* that the basement will be affected at all.

But within 15 minutes my brain had gotten all the way from that to "oh my god Ceejay's going to get boarded up or they're going to see there's a bunch of cats living there and try to trap or poison them."

I convinced myself that this is not only more than a little hasty, it's not even logical. It's not even legal to randomly move or poison feral cats in New Orleans. And our moochlets probably have another six dozen hiding spots around the block that we don't even know about.

Plus, this could actually work out for the best, 'cause I know that place is pretty moldy and Peebles already has asthma issues... And if they're remodeling, we might get a another neighbor who likes the cats and might help feed them if we ever have to move.

So yeah, I'm just borrowing trouble. But I borrowed so much of it, so fast! And now I'm just lingering in that place where some part of your brain remembers you were supposed to be anxious about something, but not why.

I'm sure the cats are going to be fine one way or another. They made it through a Cat 4 hurricane, for fuck's sake. That did help me worry less about 'em.

I guess it just feels weird and intrusive, knowing that someone can just randomly come in and alter our little buddies' lives radically and there's not much we could really do about it. (Gods know they would NOT take well to collars and tags, for instance...)

@LexYeen I mean, I LIKE it, I'm certainly not complaining about it. :) I had actually wondered if you'd gotten them confused with faerie dragons, but I guess this is a thing for astrals!

Wow, dragons are perverts. :>

@JulieSqveakaroo @anthracite @Phorm

NEED 2 EAT? GO ON AND HAVE IT

¡Especiales!

IF U WANT IT?
IT'S 4 SALE OK
IF U NEED TO ASK
ASK

@LexYeen Wait, what now?

@001zlnv I don't know, I just know that coat is dead on: Norwell DOES have a hot little weasel ass.

@001zlnv Do you mean recently or in general?

@001zlnv Back in the day, I could have gotten a three-hour public scene out of that. <3

For fuck's sake, I can't see a message from my therapist because she sent it via some kind of Microsoft Office app and it's pitching a fit about the fact I'm logged into my work account.

I can fix it "just" by logging out but it's a pain in the ass and means I have to stop everything else I'm doing.

I fucking hate 2021. Let's hurry up with this "revolution" thing the kids are talking so much about on TikTok these days. (They are, right? Please tell me they are.)

Bouquet, oomer.

@Phorm "Master" had better hire an EXCELLENT wish attorney for his next go, unless he wants to end up stuck in a corked burette, granting wishes, convinced her name has always been "Bubbles."

"Listen, aging up Scootaloo is one the finest things a person can do. But you had to go and get greedy."

@Leucrotta You'd... you'd be surprised. There is really good food, but it's not *close* at hand, any of it, since this is really more of a car town and we walk!

We did hit Angelo Brocato's for strawberry napoleons, though, so nah, I can't really complain.