Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

(For the record, the "Frank" there is Frank Conniff of MST3k, who had been making a similar argument to mine and was getting DRILLED by Grim Tankies*, and I WILL fight anyone who says a word against the guy. :> )

* if you resemble that remark I still love you very much but you are what you are and I am not one of you <3

Don't have energy to debate it individually, but... As for Frank and America, if there's ANYBODY out there running around trying to, say, find cake ingredients in the break room under everybody's nose and MAKE some fucking cake on the sly in the microwave, so we don't have the eat the moldy cracker OR the turd, I 100% support them. :)

That whole thing was written at a time -- Nov 2020 -- where it was IMHO very clear that it was either "cracker" or "turd." And it was posted in frustration at someone on the Federated timeline who did not seem to geth that THERE WAS NO CAKE ON THE MENU in the situation they were raving about.

I want to go on the record as saying I 100% supporting doing ANY GOD DAMNED THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY DO to get us some cake in 2024. D: Shit, if your plan is to stomp the cracker on the ground and run down the street and triumphantly return with a cake, yes, please, do that. D: D: D:

I am skeptical. I really think it's gonna be cracker vs. turd again. But I REALLY DO NOT WANT THE CRACKER EITHER, BECAUSE WE ALL DESERVE SOME FUCKING CAKE RIGHT NOW and I hope that much was clear. :)

@001zlnv With my geo research job, just take a moment to imagine what kind of ads *I* get. Half of them are not even in the Latin alphabet. >__<

@Leucrotta If you can find a cake, of course you should get a cake. At the time of that piece's writing, there was clearly no cake. 🤷​

@Phorm Yeah, honestly, after all this nonsense I found it kinda comforting that your tribe has the sense to just CALL IT WATER, because everybody knows what f'in water is... -_-

guess i gotta drag this one out again

@Austin_Dern This "Galaxy Brain" garbage, too. How many 4channers are now running around confidenty parroting these as "official" names for water?!?

It's obviously just someone fucking around with nomenclature rules for fun, but THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL YOU THAT IN THE MEME.

I curse the uploader with one million lost exam points.

@Austin_Dern Yeah. 'Cause I had an ACTUAL SERIOUS FACTUAL QUESTION and their goddamn meme trod all over all hopes of answering it correctly, because Being Cute On The Internet is more important than knowing about the universe.

And it feels like such a metaphor for EVERYTHING that is fucked up with us right now, because the cute memes ALWAYS win over the dull facts and I am almost literally sick to death over it, certainly sick to the point of daily existential dread and I am not exaggerating. 😱​

This fucker.

I'm looking for the "SLAP USER" button on my keyboard.

Wikipedia ONLY mentions "dihydrogen monoxide" as a parody. It says NOTHING about it being valid. I even went back and checked the version that was current the day they posted. Couldn't have been clearer it was satire. Bet they didn't even look at the actual article first. They just Knew A Fact and linked to the Fact Place.

This may seem trivial to you, friends, but the phenomenon it represents? It's the Root Of All Stupid and it's reason #1 after good old-fashioned greed that we can't have nice things.

@Austin_Dern What really burns me is the process we're talking about here:

1) Person makes a joke.
2) Entire Internet swarms on it as an excuse to be smug, because they can use it to prove other people wrong.
3) Entire Internet takes a factoid from the joke, gets it wrong, and repeats it all over-- with EQUAL smugness.

It's that ironic tension between mocking other people's ignorance and nestling in harder with one's own. I HATE it. I suspect I've done it too, and that makes me hate it even more. >_<

It's like, "You JUST got done making fun of someone else for uncritically believing something they saw on the Internet. D'ya think MAYBE you can polish up your own process a little next?"

(OK, a few sources are pointing out that TECHNICALLY MAYBE you could call it dihydrogen monoxide-- but chemists just *don't* because it doesn't represent the actual chemistry very well at all. The best I'm seeing for an official IUPAC name is "oxidane," which is fascinating...)

This is today's friendly reminder to the entire world that IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT GOOGLE RESULTS TELL YOU, "DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE" IS NOT VALID NOMENCLATURE FOR WATER/H₂O, FOR THE SAME GODDAMN REASON WE DON'T CALL SULFURIC ACID "DIHYDROGEN MONOSULFUROUS TETROXIDE" OR SOME SHIT.

GOOGLE IS NOT AN ENCYCLOPEDIA, IT IS A STRAW POLL OF UNEDUCATED PEOPLE. If half the fucking population of Earth is convinced water is "dihydrogen monoxide" because of a piece of satire, it will tell you "water is called dihydrogen monoxide" and it will do it with a confident friendly smile.

@spottyfox *packs you on the first desert bus out* ;p

@anthracite Should I contact Our Guy? :)

baby goats!??!

@porsupah What IS this reality? We definitely need to redouble our efforts to get in contact with the producer and ask for a script doctor. We jumped the shark yet again.

Siouxie, B-52s, Violent Femmes, Blondie, and fucking PYLON, right in a row?!?!

Yeah. This place gets me.

Came across this screenshot and it couldn't define my current mood about the world any better.

Yeah, um. I'm the one on the left, in case there was ever any doubt.

@001zlnv I mean, Patton has proven himself many times over... But yeah, he just doesn't seem at home in this role.

I've really tried, but Kinga, Max, and Synthia just aren't makin' it for me.

At the very least, I'm probably gonna continue my habit of skipping the host segments when I watch these.

I really do miss Joel. I would do anything to have one of them make a reference to Shake-A-Pudding or Marx Toys right now.