Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@troodon (granted, this would be unusually difficult slashfic since IIRC the Defect does not actually have a pelvis, just a bunch of hovering empty space. but amor vincit omnia, yanno?)

@troodon Uh... in a very, very, very, very, very, very loose sense of the term? In that all the romance and dialogue is performed entirely via cards with little numbers on them, depicting acts of magical violence. O:)

I would probably read the hell out of some Defect* and Silent** slashfic, though.

* "broken" faceless guardian robot with magical orb-summoning powers
** goat-skull-masked assassin lady with really nice hair and a lot of free poison to give away

There's a goddamn reason I always refer to brainyquote.com as "Fakeyquote." Never, ever, ever trust anything they say there.

(Don't worry, this isn't a subtoot. I'm just miffed over yet another Oscar Wilde misattribution. And I really WANTED "Always forgive your enemies, nothing will annoy them so much" to be his, too. :( )

https://imgur.com/w5mKsPZ

Thought this might appeal to some of you. It's fanart of the Enlightened One (aka the "Woke Bloke"), a crow-based boss monster from Slay The Spire.

@kaputotter As an added bonus, I think the Breeders track in the background cured my previous earworm! ^___^

mood is (++) so now i'm seriously wondering if i didn't end up in the wrong ohio

not gonna complain, pls don't tell anybody

@kaputotter That's okay for him... but I'm still alone!

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x32ja7v

#whatthehellkindofotterwearspants

love my family but my mom takes SO LONG to tell a damn story, and now i'm starting to remember where i get it from

sorry everybody

@001zlnv @anthracite that's actually a fine idea -- we had thought of leaving a note, but that's a very cute and effective way to phrase it

@zx3 Like I said. Snakes on a Plane, in (quasi-)presidental form. Much funnier on paper than in practice. *sighs and hugs in great sympathy*

@zx3 if you're quoting caddyshack, you must really have it bad *hug* been there -- if we can just get the DNC to keep growing its vestigial spine and keep the Supreme Court safe from Kavanaugh, I think we will be okay once we fight off this admittedly wretched case of the trumps <3 this is going full nixon real fast and my main worry right now is a popcorn shortage

@Phorm @anthracite Sorry about that. We're a bit unclear on what the Thingy actually does, since Valis can never remember anything about it once he's done applying it...

@Phorm @anthracite I hope you don't mind if I butt in and note that it's really hard to make puns when you can't see, hear, speak, type, or think unassisted.

Lady Anthracite, shall I dispatch Valis to get the... thingie... from Ms. Garnet?

#youknow #thethingie

I could really have done without all the Trump-branded soaps in the guest bathroom. >____<

FWIW, my parents hate Trump and Clinton about equally which, meh, is good enough. These are just leftovers from when my late uncle was living in Atlantic City and spent most of his time gambling and living off comps. They visited Trump casinos a bunch of times before he became Emperor Stubbyhands.

So, no political statement there. Still, I wince.

I know what you're thinking, and if any of you want to try your luck... be my guest. If you can't be polite (I don't blame you), be unactionable. :) Don't say anything that will give the scumbags an excuse. Not that they're gonna let you finish talking anyhow.

214-671-3001 (no answer thus far)
214-670-7253 (hung up on me)

@Thaminga (And rubberjackals in street gangs are FAR better than this. *pander* )

I called one of their other departmental numbers, and they actually HUNG UP ON ME mid-sentence. Right in the middle of the word "murder," actually. I called back immediately; they picked up and then hung right back up on me.

FTR, I said NOTHING abusive, illegal, or obscene. I just asked them, as calmly as possible, "Are you going to prosecute the murderer (*click*) on your force."

They're just a motherfucking street gang. Treat 'em accordingly.

Called the Dallas PD to register my outrage about the, let's face it, flat-out murder of a 100% innocent black man in his own apartment.

Main PD is not answering their phones. Repeat: the central PD office of a major city is not answering their phones at 1 in the afternoon. Because, I presume, they're pissy about all the criticism. (Their other reviews on Google Maps indicate this is pretty typical behavior for 'em.)

But that's not all...

by way of penance for recent eeyoring <3

@Leucrotta FWIW, I hate that shit and sympathize. If I had a fucking dollar for every person who dismissed my scary fatigue issues circa 2005 with "do some yoga," I'd... well, tbh, I'd probably buy a time machine and a wiffle bat. ;p