Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Austin_Dern I lost mana points just reading this piece of hackery. If I had fairy wings prior to exposure to this comic strip, they would have just fallen off. -____-

@Oneironott I thought we'd sprayed for kitsune. >__<

(I kid, because I love... and because I might have a tiny bit of Self-Hating Former Vulpine Syndrome. O;) Kincaid was a plastic fox with a bundle of electrical cords for tails; there were at LEAST nine, so I think she still qualifies as a yо̄kai by technicality/treaty...)

@benj_red@cybre.space Or just find them a copy of Jane Austen's complete works, a copy of Shakespeare's... and bludgeon them soundly with one in each hand until they accept the weight of history upon them. O:)

Remember, kids, on so many levels this is a battle between Chaotic Good and Lawful Evil. So polish your rubber jester cap twice a day, keep your itching powder dry, and don't lose your sense of the absurd due to sheer overexposure.

I just wanted to let you know: good luck, we're all counting on you. *srsly face*

@anthracite Now I'm tempted to ask Dawn about me, but I'm rrrrreal afraid she's going to be Very Perceptive again and just straight up hand me 8 of Pents. BOOM BOOM KRAKOW! BURN PRETTY FOR MOMMY! >:D

But, I mean, if you can build a bot that just scavenges content from /r/creepy and posts a random image in a reply to anyone who even mentions, let alone links to, K***F**** or any of the major drama-stirrers...

...then I was never here, and we never met, and you've never heard of me. You've never heard of any tigers on Mars. You don't even know what a tiger *is*. O:)

The key is to leave them feeling like they left you: angry but w/o a clear target.

But honestly, if you can build yourself a nice bunker and wait it out instead... that also works great. They're quite capable, in my experience, of turning on each other and destroying themselves, if all their usual targets are nowhere to be found.

Good luck, kids. Aunt Rezy will be here cradling her shotgun full of willfully miscaptioned Russian animation stills and 1950s advertising clip art photoshopped with queer iconography if you need her. O:)

I'm a terrible person for saying it, but yeah. If you really truly don't want these people around, or want to strike back but don't want muck on your delicate fluffy paws... roll out the anonymous untraceable accounts and confuse the FUCK out of them with technically innocent but bewildering and vaguely sinister content.

You would not believe, for example, the chaos and outrage I managed to create once in an anti-furry troll community simply by anonymously posting High Art nudes. They were CERTAIN it had to be some kind of attack (and it was), but they had no idea what it was supposed to mean. Reduced them to frothing witch-hunty madness for days, and hopefully distracted them from some other poor target.

High-larious!</monty_burns>

More seriously, as a vet of the LJ Psychic Wars, my sincere advice is if you see anything that resembles 4chan or Encyclopedia Dramatica, kill it with fire and plenty of it. It's the social equivalent of John Carpenter's Thing.

Flat-out ridicule works surprisingly well. So do efforts to turn them vs. each other. But the most effective solution, in my opinion, is surrealist-meme saturation bombing. Their babble is already empty; help the process along.

@hummingrain Don't worry, I'm grading on a curve. Compensatory years are awarded for jadedness, common sense, and/or minimal usage of the term "jorts". :D

@Kyresti That last line, especially, is gold. Extended golf clap. <3

@anthracite @Phorm Honestly kinda saddens me that (a) I've got a "family" of little gay space critters to worry about (b) I've got a quasi-fiancee I don't want dragged into this (c) there's so much good dirt on me (d) this kind of crusading is for a far younger cat (e) I have long since mounted my troll-killin' rifle over the mantelpiece and am happier that way.

Otherwise I'd be into some major shenanigans against these ED-lookin' motherfuckers. 🤢​

OTOH, I'm pleasantly surprised and a little bit proud to say that every single damn person you good people have mentioned by name as having a role in this drama has proven to be someone I had apparently already blocked LONG ago for being excessively, irritatingly, self-consciously "woke."

Bouncing naked Eris on a goddamn pogo stick. Never trust anyone under 40. >__<

Okay, now just spitballing here, and maybe this is Martian cultural bias talking, but...

What if we just killed them, ate their brains, and sent all harvested data to the moon, where their minds would serve for eternity directing robot slave labor?

I don't even know for sure who "they" are at this point, but it's always worked for us in the past (read: "future").

(Tip of the hat to Rudy Rucker, Cobb Anderson, and Mr. Frostee.)

@Leucrotta Don't ask us-- ask the Jammers.

https://i.imgur.com/mfLtxkZ.gifv

if i were a pc and this world were an mmo i would be doing a respec right now, taking a whole bunch of damage penalties so i can buff my range and area effect to ridiculous levels

and then i would just haul back and smack the entire human race on the cheek at once like some tetrated three stooges routine

you terran numbskulls

(Seriously. If I can get past the procrastination and actually get it DONE... Parallax Ch. 1 is gonna be a hell of a story. I'm excited all over again.)

No, Rez. You're not allowed to use all that extra manic caffeine/Gungeon energy to torment the right-wing Tolkein purist asshat arguing with @anthracite on Reddit.

You have Parallax to write. You can't afford to waste time on strangers. You have your _dear fictional friends and progeny_ who need tormented much more urgently.

(Though I did already add 1k more words to our revision of the Vek-10 half of the story. New improved climax, 200% more painful for everybody involved! ^_____^ )