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@Leucrotta Sounds like you've got a screenplay to write, friendo... Chop chop! :)

@LeDiva These were improved dramatically by hearing them in the voice of Paul F. Tompkins as Werner Herzog.


criminal mugshots, imminent multiversal collapse 

Oh, sure. She thinks it's funny now. But this is EXACTLY how the Crisis on Infinite Earths started.

conservative butthead update, still more trollface 

UPDATE:

He had another go at me, with some deeply disingenuous tactics and an unironic use of "sheep" as a pejorative(!), despite me telling him in no uncertain terms our conversation was over.

I had no choice. He forced my hand. I told him he was just down to "winter."

"Have winter," I wished him, quite sincerely. :>

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re: garbage animals, food 

@Oneironott on the other hand, in french foodcrime jail* they'd probably still give you better wine and cheese than you could ever get as a free american :>

*original: "la prison de nourriture criminelle"

re: garbage animals, food 

@Oneironott in france, you would be jailed :>

uspol, snark 

In 50 years, we're not going to be calling all this "Trumpgate." We're going to be calling Watergate "Nix-A-Lago," after the worst scandal in US history. Nixon will be remembered as "Individual Zero."

Okay, maybe not, but the point stands. :) This is turning out to be so much worse than a "mere" office burglary...

pfaf (and implicit alcohol reference) 

Yeah, I have to drink* for this one. Especially the dress.

reddit.com/r/oddlysatisfying/c

*For those who don't know me in RL, this is a reference to the "Raggedy Ann and Andy Drinking Game" @anthracite introduced me to. You watch a movie, preferably the eponymous one, and every time one of your kinks gets referenced on-screen... you drink. You drink _regardless_ of whether the specific instance on screen arouses you, or is even pleasant. (e.g., if you have a feeder fetish... you gotta drink for the egg contest in Cool Hand Luke, even though there's nothing sexy about it in the least)

So "I have to drink for this" is basically personal slang for "this is embarrassingly close to my kink territory."

question from Reddit 

Is "they look like they have a great spirit" West Coastal for "well, bless your little heart?" (Which is, of course, Southerner for "you pitiable subhuman beast.")

re: uspol, limit-break level facepalm 

@mona@cybre.space Found the original source. It's Michael Cohen's charging document, and the exact quote describes him as the attorney "to Individual-1, who at that point had become the President of the United States."

TL;DR: Individual-1 is in a whole shitload of trouble, and it definitely ain't Hillary. :)

re: uspol, limit-break level facepalm 

@mona@cybre.space It's a placeholder name used for a Certain Target Of Federal Investigations in Mueller's memos. It's extremely clear from the memo's context that it's Donald Trump, so it's become quite a running joke/recurring nickname on political forums.

And it's utterly *ludicrous* that anybody could possibly assert it refers to Hillary, since the memos in question even make it quite clear that "Individual-1" WON A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. But yup, I found someone who was willing to do it anyhow. *kicks self in head* :>

uspol, limit-break level facepalm 

So I was joking around about Trump with some decent folks on Reddit, and made a wisecrack about Hillary turning out to be Individual-1. Then we speculated on whether there might be a conservative out there so delusional they believe that.

Yup. Ninety Google seconds later. PiperOhio@Birdsite. "You’ve got nothing. The President is cleared since Individual 1 is Hillary Clinton." This was *not* satire in any visible context.

Granted, she's a blatant propaganda account, but someone (in Moscow?) either believed this was a tenable position, or has way too much faith in the political power of obfuscating stupidity.

re: gender; snark 

@Thaminga I would ask how the hell any of that is practical... but then it would put me in the very uncomfortable position of having to defend English. No way.

re: mlp, The Past (-) 

@Phorm Schadi assures you that it's okay: the "food" there was tasty but fattening anyhow. A steady diet of dragon-feels has proven much more balanced and healthy. Yeah, she's a bit leaner these days, but she's not gonna starve.

*still tries to stick a curly straw in your ear a la derpibooru.org/77697* 😇🦄​🐞​

mlp, The Past (-) 

I'm not really following MLP:FIM anymore, but it would still be really nice to look at happy Equestrians without feeling a vaguely icky, corrupt, polluted pariah-like sensation.

And that's not just the changeling in me talking. For her part, Schadi is just glad she licked the ceiling that one time. You-Know-Who will NEVER be able to get rid of all the ponybug DNA. -_-

gender; snark 

One of these days one of the "THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS" crowd is going to take a German class, find three of them, and promptly die from Unwanted Satori Syndrome.

cw: today in nightmare biology... 

Shrews do some real Stephen King shit... *shudder*

cw: implicit police violence, conservative buttheads, more trollface 

For the record, the guy mentioned in the above toot responded to me with a really, really stupid counterargument. He said "check your local library"-- as if his point were so self-evident, reading ANY book would support it, I guess?! (He was arguing that the basic purpose of the police is to protect society. His previous argument was "it MUST be true-- they swear an OATH to that effect!")

So I told him I was going to have to redact my blessing to just "winter holidays." O:)

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