Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@JulieSqveakaroo It suuuure looked like it, so that's my lead theory, and THANK YOU for the reality check, Sqveaks. <3

@JulieSqveakaroo Nope! It was "JAN 18, 19" -- which does at least reassure me it could easily have been a typo for "JUN"

@Phorm I REALLY sympathize, I've struggled with that for most of my life. *hugs* Have you started a health-worry journal by any chance? YMMV but I've found it extremely reassuring to have a litany of all the times I've worried about making myself sick and nothing bad actually happened...

In an INCREDIBLE S-rank act of relationship support, Peg accompanied me to the Rouse's supermarket to demand some answers. After a frustrating wait, we actually got a very apologetic and helpful manager who gave us an incident-report form and said one of their staff will check back on us in a few days to see if I'm doing okay.

Also, I think I got the key pieces of evidence I needed to stop fretting: they SWORE up and down they don't freeze their meats, and the rack of turkey in the refrigerated section only had a few packages left on the shelves. So it can't possibly have just sat there for months... and how the hell could it have sat in back for that long?!

I'm pretty convinced it was a misprint. If not... heh... you'll probably be hearing about it in the form of a Gofundme, since we don't have insurance here yet. :O But, nah, between that and your reassurances (❤️!) that there's no way that could have really been that old and not REEKED... I'm a lot less freaked out now!

@001zlnv Lunch meat. Sliced, and what's REALLY confusing... nitrate-free and low preservative supposedly!

Okay, so... we just noticed the turkey we've been eating all week is FOUR MONTHS past its listed sell-by date.

That... that has to be a misprint, right? Turkey that far past its expiration would be REALLY obviously spoiled, right?

It was... a bit moister than usual but not slimy, no discoloration, and it really just smelled like mediocre turkey. Surely, it couldn't still be that close to normal if it were THAT expired, right?

Honestly, this is pretty traumatic for me, so if people in a saner condition than I am could reply fairly soon, I'd be real grateful. Peg and I have already argued over this (I think we're okay now) because I'm just so fucking stressed out over this, especially the TWO MONTH max incubation period I'm seeing for Listeria.

@001zlnv Oh dear. :D

HBO series on its 2nd season, starring Bill Hader as a traumatized veteran/penitent hitman who gets sent to LA to kill an actor... and ends up turning his back on his old life and enrolling in acting classes instead.

It's a comedy! *cackles in a deranged fashion for several minutes for some reason*

(It also has a pretty damn funny episode about the protagonist-- and everybody else-- getting the shit kicked out of them by a 12-year-old girl with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and the personality of a feral mongoose.)

@Oneironott I mean, I basically lived it during the Martian Brain Flu years, 'cause I was dangerously similar to Charles Wallace from Day 1, and I definitely had something out of whack with my farandolae. -_-

ARRRRRRRRRGH I CAN'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THE BARRY FINALE TONIGHT, IS *ANYBODY* ELSE WATCHING THIS SHOW SO I CAN DISH ABOUT WHAT I THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN?!?!

@Leucrotta "It's just tiny and fits right in..."

@Oneironott PROGINOSKES WAS RIGHT

[Cultural Closed-Captioning: "the benevolent cherub from Madeleine L'Engle's A Wind In The Door, which was all about fighting spiritual darkness"]

see, this is a pretty good reason of why i want to erase humanity, call a mulligan, and start over

raccoons would never do this shit

we would shut the fuck up and eat and be happy

https://www.finedininglovers.com/blog/points-of-view/stupid-food-orders-list/

@Oneironott Hahaha, yeah, I hate The Healthy People too, even more than I hate The Morning People, but INFURIATINGLY they seem to be right. Not many exercise activities I actually enjoy, but a long walk has consistently turned out to be the best thing for de-croggling my screwy neurochemistry.

I just had a dream that was basically a cross-breed of Groundhog Day, Superhot, and La Fin Absolue du Monde (the cursed film-in-a-film about the sacrifice of an actual angel, from John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns).

I had been exposed to some corrupting force that was making me the instrument of chaos and misery all around me, but I had the ability to rewind time and meticulously reconstruct my narrative at will. The climax was deciding that absolutely nobody was dying or going to hell because of this except me, and deliberately taking a stabbing from a demonic serial killer that was meant for a victim of one of my previous Bad Ends.

It was fucking awesome. :D

@LeDiva *nods sagely* "Our people have a similar tradition!" *scritches lavishly and lewdly*

Heads up: Fleabag Season 2 is extremely good. Eats the Bechdel Test for breakfast every morning. Snarky, raw, honest story of a woman learning to reconnect after separating herself from the world and taking refuge in... well... in you and me. It's a long story. Watch Season 1 first.

(series CWs: reproductive woes, sexual assault [w/sympathy and comeuppance], dysfunctional family, British-grade social discomfort, mild mammary theft; SPOILER: THE GUINEA PIG WILL BE JUST FINE I PROMISE)

@LeDiva i mean, we wouldn't say no 🐯​

(WHOA-OH IA-IA, TONY COMETH! BEWARE HUMANS, LEST YE BE GNASHED AND CONSUMED! BEHOLD THE MAN-EATER!)

#TheSongOfMyPeople
#GoodCerealToo

This is just one of those day where if you were to turn your telescope to the face of Mars and zoom in on our main settlement, you'd see a huge assortment of boulders, plastic yurts, shipping containers, antelope bone-mounds, and derelict spaceships meticulously arranged in the form of three glyphs: a Jolly Roger, a planet Earth, and a paw with middle claw extended.

#WarOnAllFlags
#EatTerransForTigerJesus
#TigerJesusIsReallyJustTony
#WePreferNotToDiscussIt
#TonyHungersForSinfulHumanFlesh

"fursona non grata"