Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@typhlosion There's a _reason_ the phrase "disabled libertarian" only gets 350 hits in a Google search... and if you filter out two people, it goes down to 44.

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22disabled+libertarian%22+-ziggy+-encaoua+-caleb+-shumate+-%22nobody%27s+victim%22&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS873US881&ei=fDtQXqunJI64sgXNrI2YBw&start=40&sa=N&ved=2ahUKEwir1cf9u-PnAhUOnKwKHU1WA3M4HhDy0wN6BAgLEDQ&biw=1304&bih=648

@Aradia *expectant paw gesture*

Yes?

*waits*

Except...?

#BelieveItOrNot
#TheAnswerISeekIsNotFoxes

I'm a terrible excuse for a raccoon.

You see, except for chronic and systemic ones, I'm really terrible at keeping my pet diseases. They just keep dying on me. I've basically got what my people call a "red-crossed thumb."

But one of these days, one of my microscopic friends will finally stick around with me to the end, and I will join my siblings in the Great Rubbish Bin In The Sky.

Haha, no, just kidding. Nobody would bother making an afterlife for crazy opportunists like us, and if they did, we wouldn't take orders well enough to qualify. We'd probably just steal St. Peter's keys, sneak into all the other afterlives, and steal food from everybody in Canid Heaven.

From 48 Hrs's wiki. Truth in advertising: it was indeed pretty Gross. Everything in the whole film involving women was just Gross.

But first, a little preparatory viewing. (I'm raising a glass to you here, @Valerie_Elysee. <3 )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2Zy8MHGSjM

"It's not where you're going that counts, it's who the hell's in back of you."

OK, if the trailer is any indication, Smokey and the Bandit might be a relative source of wisdom, 'cause that's actually pretty good advice.

I'm gonna give it a shot. It's got a cute basset hound and it hates cops as much as we do, what could go wrong?

@001zlnv If the things I've been saying had applied to WFRR, it would have been a very different film. :O

And probably directed by Ralph Bakshi. 😱​

Almost done.

Yes, Eddie, women love all of... whatever the hell that just was that you did and said. Didn't you physically return this woman to the bar like a suddenly unwanted gas station sandwich, not 40 minutes ago?

Also, I should have timed the exact length of the Miraculous And Highly Believable Conversion Of Cop To Apparently Tolerable Levels Of Racism, but I'm pretty sure it was <120 seconds total.

This is why I do this, kids. This is the first it's felt good to live in 2020 in quite a long time. (Haha, that's a lie--I watch She-Ra and follow queer vixens on Masto and stuff. <3 )

Wow, I'm lovin' this theme of disposable women, too--Reggie's attempted bar conquests, Racist Cop Guy's neglect of his wife being played up as faintly wacky, the practically voiceless hostages, the (cough) "dykes" whose home they invade and push around...

This film is doing exactly what it needed to, though: reminding me that despite the ongoing political shitshow, our culture has evolved tremendously for the better in the last 40 years--at least, in some parts of the damn country--and this ENRAGES our political enemies.

I'm all of twenty minutes into the original 48 Hrs. and I already want to poke the cop protagonist's eyes out with a pencil.

@hystericempress i already did, and here it is:

"4chan is the anti-life equation."

qed

still sick but no foam and no urge to bite neighbors which means i am downright luminous with good health by raccoon standards

@Oneironott yup, i've never been a big fan of preserving a structure for its own sake, it offends my discordian morals, so i declared victory for postfurry and retreated a long time ago :)

while reading the wikipedia list of fictional disease, i discovered that the star wars universe has a zombie plague in it and now i am absolutely fucking done with both star wars and zombies forever

i am diseased!

=(^)________(^);=

So far it's just a mild flu, not anything interesting like Martian Mumps or Takis-B, but still, I feel like a real trashpanda again. :p

@mawr Also needless to say fuck a whole bunch of those guys. >_< I'm very disappointed---I used to think of the Seattle TSA as an unusually chill bunch of their kind, but their treatment of my trans friends has told another, revolting story.

@mawr Fuuuuuuck you're brave, mawr. Thank you for taking this risk upon yourself, just be careful out there okay? 😻​

ATTENTION MARTIANS:

DO NOT EAT THESE GUYS​

BRING THEM A SANDWICH INSTEAD

https://qz.com/india/1803565/land-near-ranthambore-tiger-reserve-reforested-by-indian-couple/?utm_source=reddit.com

🖼

This is all pretty much accurate.