Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

(i think it was a fine dramatic touch that i also looked around the room and went "HEY! DO YOU HEAR THAT? I think there are definitely some birds around here!")

ok you little mooches i am definitely not going to sit here listening to bird sounds for the next three hours just to keep you entertained

(NARRATOR: three hours of birdsong later...)

dammit arthur don't jump right on your sister from the back of the couch though ok yeah it was really funny

Liu Cixin, "Three Body Problem" (2014)

gods, my life would be so much easier if sugarfoot just had e-mail -_-

we think we've settled on a reasonable compromise, though: instead of letting sugarfoot out, we're gonna let her family visit more often. everyone but shemp's met the kittens and seemed to be pretty chill around them...

New source of anxiety: Sugarfoot is frequently sitting in front of the door outside and mewling. She obviously wants to go out and explore very badly, and I don't want to give her any further sources of stress. But I also don't want the kittens to be without mama for very long, and I have nightmare visions of her wandering off for, like, a day (which is admittedly not like her).

I'm thinking of gently withholding her food, just for like part of a day, and then letting her go explore a bit, trusting in the awesome power of the food bag to lure her back. Does this sound horribly irresponsible?

@balinares I'd been trying not to disturb them but I think they're getting old enough that it's not really a problem, I'll try to get some soon!

@mawr This is why clever plushies sew weights into their paws! Otherwise you could end up halfway across town!

@Austin_Dern Yeah, we're hoping that the next big panic isn't a lack-of-health, it's a too-much-health, we're too old to keep up with these friggin kittens, sort of panic XD plans are already underway to kittenproof the heck out of one room and keep them mostly sequestered to it until they pass their catting exams...

guess what i saw this morning...

peeper peepers! 👀​

😺​😺​😺​

I'm currently out of kitten things to worry about. They're toddling around a bit, but not so well that there's any chance of escaping the Mother Box. They're both breathing fine, they're feeding like crazy, they're reacting (understandably fussily) to gentle petting and I think they've like doubled in weight.

I'm sure the gods will come up with SOMETHING further to test us. But at least this buys us more time to prepare for the KITTEN ONSLAUGHT if all goes well and they're bouncing around like little explorers soon.

Current freakout source: after eight days in, neither kitten seems to have started opening their eyes, but some sites say it should be happening as early as six days. Granted, some sites are also saying as late as 14 days, but naturally I'm seizing on the scariest possibility...

I'm hazily aware that this is all INCREDIBLY stereotypical early-parenting fear and even I'm gonna find this funny in a month when the kittens are bouncing around all over the place, Bast willing...

@Oneironott haha, i was wondering but took no offense, but you're definitely not the scrappy -- somewhere between "the staff chick" and "the pet/mascot" maybe...?

(actually, we're out on a cafe patio and letting sugarfoot & kids have some probably much desired alone time without Crazy Aunt Tigress peeking into their box. but i still feel guilty about it.)

EVERYTHIGN IS FINE!!

CAN ANYBODY RECOMMEND AN AFFORDABLE BUT COMPLETE 24/7 NON INVASIVE BIOMETRIC MONITORING SYSTEM FOR CATS? PREFERABLY WITH BOTH LIVE AND AI MONITORS ON CALL

I JUST NEED TO BE ABLE TO KNOW AT EVERY WAKING MOMENT THAT THE KITTENS ARE OKAY AND THEN I CAN RELAX!!!!!!!

The Bad: reading up on when i can expect the peepers' eyes to open and accidentally stumbling into kitten mortality rates *fret fret fret*

The Good: starting to worry about the couple of tropical depressions forming in the gulf, and then watching local weather god Bob Breck smash those fears to pieces with a water temperature map

@JulieSqveakaroo Thank you, this is all great advice! cc:ing @anthracite on this...

@Phorm if i can charm people with my lack of facial features, whimsical wobbly nodding, and vague squeaky gestures, IT STILL COUNTS -- dammit Science Fox, I know you took advanced math -- you know damn well the null set counts as an element!

@Austin_Dern @001zlnv Also, no offense, I gotta say the single best thing about the next-to-last Thundercats reboot was nerfing Snarf's sapience. XD

@Austin_Dern @001zlnv I was *just* short of calling the last option "pet voiced by Frank Welker" :p

I don't have complete information yet, but my employers' open enrollment starts up in a week or two, and based on a quick skim of the documents...

I might be saving as much as $150/month on my health insurance if I switch over to their plan! PLUS I gain eyecare, PLUS I now have a method of getting insurance for Peg if Trump/SCOTUS fuck over the ACA.

There's one more potential source of stress, possibly out of my life. Three or four at once, actually.