Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

disclaimer: life is actually pretty good and compared to a lot of people i don't have any right to complain

that said here is my list of complaints :)

been dizzy and nauseous all day long. pretty sure it's my ears/sinuses. this has been a really nasty chronic issue in past years so i'm not thrilled to see it back. at least a good hard sneeze seemed to equalize things for now.

stomach's been upset all day too. that one's all my own stupid fault; i'm processing multiple days of pizza and shit

meanwhile am up and working, mostly because sugarfoot and the kittens were being noisy and obnoxious and i nobly volunteered to let sugarfoot into the front room and stay up with her for a bit. instead of, you know, sleeping. so my wife could get some sleep. because she was talking about her stress level redlining and scaring the shit outta me. (love ya, babe, i get it, i really do <3 )

the cats have seemingly settled and all i want to do is go back and curl up with peg but i already know the moment i set foot in there i'll wake them up and all three of them will bum-rush the bedroom

also i can't fucking deal with fucking pseudo-woke leftists today but that actually puts them way ahead of Trump voters because i DO want to deal with them, with bricks and baseball bats, applied repeatedly to the rectocranial junction with great and just force.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-jYJCupgUg

but i mean, it's my fault -- it's basically two days of deep dish pizza catching up with me

@Leucrotta It... yeah. I have very long and detailed opinions about Torg. Incredibly ambitious game with inspired, fun mechanics and a very clever attempt at making a player-influenced metagame out of the grand campaign... but the splatbooks tended to be godawful and in some cases (like the "Nippon Tech" sourcebook) arguably pretty racist at worst, utterly uninformed at best -__-

and then once they had a good thing going, they completely poochscrewed the entire game balance with the bizarre space gods and incredibly edgy-bland tharkold sourcebooks, with weapons so powerful that nobody would ever want to be from anywhere else again. munchkin dreams come true. rubbish. still bitter.

@Leucrotta I don't have nearly as good of a story, but one of my gaming buddies did fall asleep during a ttrpg session (as a player), woke up just long enough to quite clearly say "Commas come before cops," then went right back to sleep.

We were playing Torg. There were no cops involved, and probably no commas either.

@Austin_Dern ours dont even live here

oh god can you please explain to them that they dont live here D;

dont make them leave or anything, just make it clear that we'd like to see some rent or something

they are adorable as fuck still, there's just more of them and they're slightly calmer

but i'm still too fucking tired* to get good pics of them, sorry! more soon

(*there were... litterbox issues. they were not the cats' fault. that's all i'm gonna say and if you want more information talk to my goddamn cat lawyer** :) )

(**it's artie. good luck to you. she's the best in the business.)

@Austin_Dern also we only have eight cats so our lives are only 80% of this

which is a lot

oh sweet bast it's a lot D:

@Austin_Dern The No-Go Zone part is definitely correct. The Cat Mob rules the territory formerly known as Homeofficetown and nobody gets through without their permission.

@hystericempress sis, no, PLEASE use this place to process this stuff. i WANT to know what's going on with you. *hughughug*

I'm not annoyed enough to boycott Christopher Nolan... but from now on, I'm pirating all his movies and watching them in a 100 x 100 box on my laptop. Hell, maybe I'll crop 'em for good measure.

[ObWhatTheFuckHappened: Christopher Nolan has been savaging HBO Max because he has issues with streaming services "replacing" cinema. Nolan has been rather a fuckwit about trying to drag people to theaters during COVID to Experience His Art Correctly.]

@JulieSqveakaroo This looks entertaining, but what it really does is make me want to watch Grendel Grendel Grendel again... or figure out a way to rip our DVD of it so we can share it...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grendel_Grendel_Grendel

i'm very biased but i can't not think of louise belcher when i see this pic

that wary little cockeyed expression like she's very very skeptical

i can almost see her in the bunny-ear hat

@Leucrotta i hold you entirely responsible for the fact my stoned brain is now singing "shelob, helob a-welob, ilob youlob a-theylob" at me <3

big demeter vibes from shadow tbh

big artemis vibes from cj/feauxbeau, not artie herself, paradoxically enough.

artie reminds me more of megeara. i almost expect her to sweatdrop, call me baka, and run away when i pet her.

shemp reminds me most of sisyphus. he good shemp fine luv u hav lik lik lik. and the jingly man is his bouldy.

sugarfoot is like aphrodite: turns on a dime >_________<

i think peebs is our dusa. she's just so happy to be of service ^________^

and olivia and snowy are gonna grow up to be asterius and theseus i just know it

oh and peebles is still long for pb which is still short for purrbox <3

Artie and Peebs came in and were cute at us.

When Artie last greeted us from the outside, it was from doorbell level. This concerns me. If Artie learns to use the doorbell, all is lost. And I would really like to know who is sending us all these crates of white powder in her name. She might be running a freebase catnip ring.

ok admittedly that part might get exciting. also i still consider artie a good kitty.

Sugarfoot had a wet food. We have been lazy with the wet food lately and mostly been giving them tiny kibble. She and the kittens like chicken even when it is in "bit" form. We are the worst parents.

CJ is now named "Feauxbeau," as in a lazy pseudo-Cajun version of "football," because CJ has a butt like a linebacker, also like a football. CJ is my favorite except for Peebles, Shemp, Sugarfoot, Olivia, Snowy, and Artie, who are tied with CJ.

Shemp mhrrrrorwwwaaarooooarrrr. Our mighty warrior* poet. (*shemp hit a bug!)

Shadow is also a cat. In my headcanon, Shadow is voiced by Jessica Walter doing a Katherine Hepburn impersonation. I think about 70-80% of her vocalizations mean "What... a... dump.." We are not unhello with Shadow. We conceded a respectful scritch to Her Imperial Majesty of the Shadow Clan earlier today. She accepted and carried on with her Imperial duties.

tiger jesus sit on pizza

is a miracule!

@Phorm there's a reason everybody wears thigh-high boots and it's not fashi---okay, it's not not fashion, but there are other reasons

pinky and the brain would be a very different cartoon if they were two cats

@Phorm yeah but listen

i am saying this as someone who is objectively pro catboy and i think my record will support me on that one

30k catboys is a lot of catboys

that is arguably too many catboys

like by one or two orders of magnitude

i would recommend limiting yourself to environs with maybe 300 - 3k catboys unless you have professional motives and a fully qualified and background checked support team

ffs learn from our mistakes of the last 8.5 weeks: at least take some bactine, a jingly toy, and a bag of dried fish treats