Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Sig Grundig blaupunkt luger frug watusi snarf wazoo. Nixon dirksen nasahist rebozo boogaloo. *nod*

i guess the big news is that the kittens are eight and a half weeks now and we're starting to plan the adoption and snippage process

the volunteer at "Trap Dat Cat" had said she had slots available as early as end of next week. but based on her advice -- and the fact we found Sugarfoot snuggled up tight with Liv and Snowy yesterday, so she's clearly not ready to let them go -- we're gonna try to last another couple of weeks.

we're running out of energy and patience, honestly. herding the cats from room to room has been INCREDIBLY stressful -- keep in mind we live in a shotgun-style, i.e. completely linear, house and there's no bedroom-to-bathroom access without fording Cat River. and the kittens are still in the "everything is a scratching post" stage. D:

but we love them and i'm actually kinda relieved peg is cool with having them for another couple weeks -- poor thing is frustrated as hell and i can tell she's starting to fray, but i can tell she loves those friggin cats as much as i do, and we really want them to get a good kitty education and a healthy send-off from mom.

other news:

-- sugarfoot's almost certainly back out of heat -- she's no longer losing her shit with pleasure when we pet her hips (it's PURELY platonic, believe me, she is NOT my type as I have repeatedly pointed out to her in the past week >___< ). plus she's right back to nipping at me whenever i try to pet her at the wrong moment, including when she is begging for petting. *sigh* i know, i know, cat is working as designed, issue closed...

-- cj turned up and is fine, which is not news to you because i never mentioned we were afraid he was missing. i didn't wanna jinx it. :) plus, yanno, i was just sad at the prospect. he's the least human-oriented of the clan, but he always accepts a good petting and i'm just kinda cheering for the weird little poodge.

-- artie loves the shelter we made out of the cat carrier we thought we were gonna need to get shemp snipped

-- shemp am cat, him want me tell u "mhrrrrhrrowwwwl" *flomp*

@001zlnv Second one mostly. 🐯​

@JulieSqveakaroo @001zlnv i mean, my last experiment with eggroll wrappers actually went a little TOO well if anything... i should give it a try, really.

@001zlnv there are at least two very formidable women who have forbidden me to own or operate a fryer while they still draw breath and i can't claim they're wrong n__n

@Phorm i mean, there are a lot of valid places to go with the "gourmet nut paste plus gourmet fruit conserve plus high quality bread" notion. i can easily imagine paying $20+ fpr, say, a hazelnut-chocolate-banana-strawberry deal on some grilled chocolate bread from When Pigs Fly in Somerville, MA

i realize that's very specific, but they had the best damn chocolate bread and i still miss them terribly...

@Leucrotta get out</leslie_knope>

you know what i really want right now?

you know how there's that whole trend of artisanal versions of horrible snack foods but with real ingredients, like "pop tarts" made from real shortcrust pastry, or Valrhona chocolate Ding Dongs

i want that for pizza rolls. like, an actually good fried wheat dough wrapper and some good italian cheese and sauce, maybe a little guanciale or something

it's still got to have that stretchy, tender kind of consistency, though

fuck it, i'll just order pizza, we do still live in a society

oh my god, annie the lawyer from the flight attendant is hekapoo from star vs the forces of evil :O :O :O

@anthracite I have everything we need to clean the coffee pot, nab me when i get home! Or you can just fill a mug with water and microwave it, but I realize the microwave is kinda blocked in with RANDOM STUFF right now!

@Aradia I'm debating now whether to tell you a long and rambling story about a piece of media you'll probably never want to see. But it does involve foxes...

olivia accidentally discovered how to turn the roomba on 🤣🤣🤣

of COURSE it would be olivia

@JulieSqveakaroo I sure ain't complaining! I am REALLY impressed with how graciously my employers have handled all this so far. We lost a little, but they clearly worked their butts off to minimize how much we'd have to give up until things are back to normal.

Huh, neat. Looks like our Benign Euromasters are giving the whole bunch of us the last full week of the year as paid vacation.

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is *instead* of a Christmas bonus, but it's still more than they had to do, and a lot more than a lot of people are getting.

Now if there were only anywhere to go or anything to do during those five days. :P Parallax, I guess!

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕝𝕦𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕪 𝕙𝕦𝕟𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤
𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕤𝕦𝕔𝕔𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕗𝕦𝕝

𝓌𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒𝒹

𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕫𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕧𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕕
𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪 𝕣𝕖𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞
𝕗𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕟𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤
𝕣𝕖𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕝𝕦𝕖 𝕔𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕫𝕖𝕟𝕤

𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁
𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒸𝒽
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓈𝑒
𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇
𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓉𝓇𝓊𝒸𝓉𝑒𝒹

ｂｌｕｅ ｃｉｔｉｚｅｎｓ
ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｂｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅｄ
ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ａ ｃｏｌｏｒ

say what you will about south park -- and i'll probably agree with you -- but the "fish dicks" episode is basically a spot for spot tour guide of the orange monster's personality

it's almost impossible not to think of djt as i watch cartman totally ignore stan's futile attempt to show him what a narcissist he is... and then turn right around and use the EXACT SAME SPEECH to accuse jimmy of being a narcissist, somehow experiencing zero self-awareness in the whole process

it's... it's him. it's djt. they model that personality type and its dangers perfectly. i can't imagine how much good these fuckers could have done if they'd been on our side and not been such handwringing pseudocentrist fuckwads. sigh.

@Austin_Dern This is also putting me in mind of some really, really perverse hypnosis and amnesia-induction scenes you could perform on a multi-headed being...

"But... but we've always been a six-headed hydra!"

"HEY!"

"I guess I can try counting again."

"HEY!"

"One... two... three... four... five... five... six..."

"YOU SAID FIVE TWICE! SNAP OUT OF IT! DAMMIT, I'M JUST ONE HEAD OVER FROM YOU! I BRUSHED YOUR TEETH FOR YOU THIS MORNING!"

@Austin_Dern "We are still speculating on the existence of our hypothetical recessive and introverted Sixth Head, or as our Head of R&D has nicknamed it, 'Flutterhead.'"

The kittens have reached an important new milestone: Snowy has learned how to GROWL.

Specifically, Snowy has learned to express extreme displeasure (to scale) at the idea of anybody -- whether that be Olivia, Mom, Aunt Tiger, or Basic Fucking Newtonian Physics -- taking their fishy toy away.

I am afraid of Snowy (to scale).