Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@DrSagan That's a shame, all the real money is in Wumbonomy these days.

@DrSagan welcome aboard

your complimentary trashbasket is in the alley ​❤️​

wow

my mom was so right

one, not giving a shit if people don't like you really is a superpower

two, it kicks in naturally in our family somewhere around our 40s

i feel like that kid from "invincible" (what was his superhero name?🤔​) except i didn't have to inherit my powers from space hitler

just from an run-of-the-mill, absolutely savage, midwestern mama bear with zero chill <3

Some glorious day, the right-wing militias will discover just how heavily armed queer people are.

But until then, I will have to settle for the thrill of seeing the surprise on these cringefarmers' faces when they realize that, yeah, contrary to what they've been taught to expect, furries do have a sense of irony.

And some of us have been carefully sharpening it for YEARS waiting for this kind of thrill.

🐯​​​🍴​🐯🍴​​​​🐯🍴​​​​🐯🍴​​​​🐯🍴​​​​

The thing about being tormented constantly by queer-furry-bashing trolls for >5 years is that you start to recognize just why and how some of their tactics work so damn well.

These people might as well have built me in a lab like a Terminator. They have only themselves to blame. I am the Robo-Bambi T1000, Butcher of Goon Hill (there is an actual story behind this), and no earthly force but death can stop me.

nothin like a few Christmas Island flags to show you're not sincere in the least ^_______^

trust me, this idiot deserved it-- basically a KiwiFarms chudlet who bitched some poor pony fan out PURELY for calling herself a pony and having a pony icon, because apparently This Is Why The Normies Won't Take Queer People Seriously.

His buddy threatened me with Twitter Jail, which is hilarious, for "stalking" his friend, which is also hilarious. I read the whole TOS for kicks: there's no rule against "going through old tweets looking for snarkbait." Sorry, Vladdie. :D

@Phorm *POP*

Hooray! Dere it goes!</Z>

@DrSagan that is really kinda the only story that there is to be told about canton

i remember this one time in 1993 that i went to canton and i bought a few things and i came home

that's it, that's the story. that's the canton story.

@Phorm doctor sez i'm only allowed to have warm jenkins until my rubdominal scrimmage pops back in ;_;

@DrSagan eeeeyup. akron-canton area. good luck up there!

i spend the whole fucking afternoon carefully treating my cultural malaise with megadoses of strong bad email and what the fuck happens

my parents come along and remind me they LOVE the big bang theory and kick it all off all over again

guess i have to move onto stronger stuff-- god, what IS the diametric opposite of big bang theory? young ones, probably?

fuck, i wish it were legal in ohio to get sblounskched. i need to get good and sblounskched.

@zx3

IN-WORLD: "Jellicle," as far as I can tell from what little canon there is, is more of a clan name than an actual species or power or nature. It seems to refer to the specific clan of stray London(?) cats led by Old Deuteronomy.

OUT-WORLD: It's a contraction of "dear little cats," as contrasted with "pollicle ('poor little') dogs," from TS Eliot's early poetry and letters to his young relatives.

COMEDY: "So, you know what a 'jellied eel' is, right? Well, jellied creatures were very popular in Victorian London, and it turns out that if you try to jelly a cat and FAIL..."

BONUS: ACTUAL REAL* PICTURE OF LORD SIR ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER

@zx3 do you want the comedy option, the in world option, or the historical/literary option?

haha, turns out EVERYBODY got an 11-day weekend at HERE Technologies this year, even though we only technically had TWO holiday days scheduled

just 'cause the ceo felt like it apparently

i fuckin' love europeans <3 <3 <3

One of these days I really need to break down and do some research into famous tigers, so I can put together a Martian festival calendar. :)

being a tigress was a real good idea

just in general

this definitely feels more than anything like a me

and it's a good warning for those who can't handle a whole lot of someone ^____^;

@Phorm sweet st hobs hav i

that thing just wont go down

also hir majiste wud liek to ishu yirly compleant abowt solir cownsil roolin that empris gota uz asasterisksk(??) 4 titul

i am reel empris* liek it or nawt and v smart & regil -------- huj mantakor pawz just nawt gud for rasist erth humin keebord

@DifficultToTame It's just... it would be OK if my stepdad weren't in a really bad health phase. It just makes my stepsister's callousness all the more infuriating.

See follow-up toot: my mom's sense of humor is intact. That's all I really needed to be OK. *hug* But thank you, seriously. <3 I do have kind of an overactive sense of duty to my family.

Mostly because, as my mom and I were discussing earlier, except for my stepsister and her staggeringly bad choice of partners, my family has been REALLY loving and supportive and low-drama and we're extremely lucky...

I mean, mom outed Peg to my stepdad as trans last year -- with noble intentions -- and he, despite being a lifelong mild conservative and a little iffy on LGBTQ stuff, said NOT ONE WORD about it that was not 100% kind and welcoming. And mom has rolled sympathetically with EVERYTHING, from realizing I would never be a conventional male, to telling her all about The Empress* Of Mars this morning. That's the sorta thing you just gotta pay back with interest. ^_^;

eet bad humins an brake ther stuf

so komand marz empris*

plz