Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Incidentally, you have no idea how much I pride myself on being a source of bizarre, obscure media for you all. I hope you are enjoying at least some of the weird things that I post here-- especially 'cause I'm not real likely to stop. :>

If there's ever something specific you're looking for, even if you only remember a fragment of it... hit me up. Like any part-time changeling, I REALLY enjoy digging around in people's lost memories. >:D

People talking about Beyond the Black Rainbow and Mandy inspired me to dig up this outtake from the Saul Bass film Phase IV, about a sapient hivemind of ants dominating humanity and, apparently, inviting them to some kind of bizarre invasive transcendence.

This lost ending is psychedelic, squicky, and gorgeously composed. I think I understand Panos Cosmatos (and a bunch of other horror directors) a little better now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beLpsWaUDNk

Also, I've been watching collections of Peter Serafinowicz's fake ads, and I am really looking forward to calling hummus "garlic pudding" for the rest of my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtF3_ybJJ50

potential cw if you're feeling VERY sensitive to fat shaming today -- it's pretty mild imo; the humor value of all this for me is in the litany of bizarre foods

also, i could murder a pile of discount foie gras right now, even though I'm pretty sure it's just spam

Just... listen, bodies are fragile and they break down for bizarre counterintuitive reasons. I love you all, so please please please don't do stupid shit with your body.

Also, um... don't strain yourself too hard when you take a poop. I'm actually fucking serious about this. It's apparently a real good way to pop a cerebral blood vessel. Just put down the Doritos and eat some goddamn fiber instead.

You know, it probably should have dawned on me that someone with a history of hypochondria shouldn't watch videos about massive organ failure BEFORE binging Chubbyemu's entire channel. :)

It was actually kinda cathartic, though. I _didn't_ actually go to that place at all, actually-- it's pretty easy to convince yourself you don't have, say, massive cirrhosis, or have somehow accidentally eaten a handful of Tide Pods without noticing. :p

Chubbyemu's videos are really good. DON'T GO. :O

I don't EVER want to see another prix fixe menu for gender ever again. From now on, we're just gonna order everything off the a la carte menu and share it family style, okay?

Let the other tables stare-- they're seething with envy, and they're right on the verge of pointing at you and asking the waiter, "Is that the special? Could I get a little of that?" <3

🖼

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29812133/

*whimper* Is it possible to get massive dysphoria about your own biological sex? I could DEAL with being this kind of boycreature...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Thai_dishes

Reading this article was a terrible, terrible mistake. I'm tempted to bribe one of you in a real city to pack some phat phrik khing in dry ice and FedEx it to me overnight. >_<

(Preference will be given to people from cities that will actually serve spicy food to Caucasians, i.e. not Seattle. ;p )

I could absolutely fucking murder a Thai curry right now.

This is absolutely not going to happen unless I drive much further than any civilized human being should ever have to drive for a measly gaeng phed gai. Fuckin' Ohio. >_<

(*Zero actual sympathy is expected, especially since there's like 67 lbs. of homemade gnocchi in the fridge. 🐯​)

https://i.imgur.com/feyRTnq.gifv

Oh, sure. She thinks it's funny now. But this is EXACTLY how the Crisis on Infinite Earths started.

UPDATE:

He had another go at me, with some deeply disingenuous tactics and an unironic use of "sheep" as a pejorative(!), despite me telling him in no uncertain terms our conversation was over.

I had no choice. He forced my hand. I told him he was just down to "winter."

"Have winter," I wished him, quite sincerely. :>

In 50 years, we're not going to be calling all this "Trumpgate." We're going to be calling Watergate "Nix-A-Lago," after the worst scandal in US history. Nixon will be remembered as "Individual Zero."

Okay, maybe not, but the point stands. :) This is turning out to be so much worse than a "mere" office burglary...

Yeah, I have to drink* for this one. Especially the dress.

https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlysatisfying/comments/a7sju0/balloons_creator/

*For those who don't know me in RL, this is a reference to the "Raggedy Ann and Andy Drinking Game" @anthracite introduced me to. You watch a movie, preferably the eponymous one, and every time one of your kinks gets referenced on-screen... you drink. You drink _regardless_ of whether the specific instance on screen arouses you, or is even pleasant. (e.g., if you have a feeder fetish... you gotta drink for the egg contest in Cool Hand Luke, even though there's nothing sexy about it in the least)

So "I have to drink for this" is basically personal slang for "this is embarrassingly close to my kink territory."

Is "they look like they have a great spirit" West Coastal for "well, bless your little heart?" (Which is, of course, Southerner for "you pitiable subhuman beast.")

So I was joking around about Trump with some decent folks on Reddit, and made a wisecrack about Hillary turning out to be Individual-1. Then we speculated on whether there might be a conservative out there so delusional they believe that.

Yup. Ninety Google seconds later. PiperOhio@Birdsite. "You’ve got nothing. The President is cleared since Individual 1 is Hillary Clinton." This was *not* satire in any visible context.

Granted, she's a blatant propaganda account, but someone (in Moscow?) either believed this was a tenable position, or has way too much faith in the political power of obfuscating stupidity.

I'm not really following MLP:FIM anymore, but it would still be really nice to look at happy Equestrians without feeling a vaguely icky, corrupt, polluted pariah-like sensation.

And that's not just the changeling in me talking. For her part, Schadi is just glad she licked the ceiling that one time. You-Know-Who will NEVER be able to get rid of all the ponybug DNA. -_-

One of these days one of the "THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS" crowd is going to take a German class, find three of them, and promptly die from Unwanted Satori Syndrome.

Shrews do some real Stephen King shit... *shudder*