Velvet Silmeria!Mánibranðr @FreyaManibrandr@awoo.space

Hi, I am fronting again

I guess, on a more fundamental level, the reason why I am very much opposed to the way the discourse had gone on Twitter is because it came from attitudes that have been forged by the right-hand path, the same way a lot of people end up falling into and embracing fascism. To them, it's all about cleansing impurities and enforcing karma on those who fall.

None of us in this system had ever been compatible with the right hand path, and in fact it had been a source of friction even within those groups I used to be a part of. Perhaps that was part of the reason why I had been able to eject myself so effectively from the groups once I have seen I was walking down the wrong path.

In any case, I've always been about exploring and finding our own shadows, embracing it and turning it into something that can help the world around us. We do not fear our past and the mistakes we've made, but we have learned and grown from it. And with our experience, we understood how even the best of us are susceptible into falling into abusive behaviour patterns, especially when we depend on a moral dogma to get where we are now.

And this is important to speak up on and have a discussion about, because the trauma that this moral narcissism creates is real. The Fediverse drama that happened late last year is proof of that.

Speaking in personal terms, dealing with people who had weaponized my own past against me has been traumatizing each time it happened. And it's not because of the questioning and the doubt...

...it's because their goal is to make me hate myself and make me feel inherently, eternally and irrevocably inferior, it's because they feel entitled to verbally strip-search me and deny my humanity.

This is all pretty difficult to talk about, because I don't want to be mistaken for someone wanting to create a social backdoor for fascists, since this is something I've spent the last 1-2 years fighting against.

But on the other hand, I also need to talk about an uncomfortable topic of how leftist spaces have a problem with narcissism, and how that can be abused to harm those deemed "acceptable targets"

And if you ever get in a situation where someone reaches out to you after having left fascist groups and wanting to get away from those hateful ghouls?

Show them the path to deradicalization, hold them accountable and absolutely vet them to make sure their intentions are genuine, just...don't be a fucking cop about it.

To summarize, absolutely feel free to question me, challenge me, and air your concerns about me, and if you feel that I am still not trustworthy, that's fine, there is no obligation to forgive, or trust. That's your, and only your decision to make.

However, if you try to use my past as a means to beat me down, strip me of my dignity and humanity, and force me into a servile position in your moral and performative narcissistic stunt, I will hurt you.

Okay so the current discourse going on in Twitter about how a fascist can deradicalize and reintegrate into society reeks of white carceral culture and I am very uncomfortable with it.

The whole point of de-radicalization is to let go of the social tenets that make fascist thought possible within a person. Things like kyriarchical social structures, the carceral mindset of seeking punitive justice, etc. So when you talk about how ex-fascists should forever be servile, and how they will never fully be accepted back, you're creating an underclass, and positioning yourself as the role of the cop. That is not okay.

Also problematic is the lack of contingency in the discourse against the possibility of predatory moral narcissism marking them as easy targets for abuse and as easy fodder to mine social currency with. A person's past is not a free license to dehumanize and abuse them with.

Speaking from personal experience, the few times this has happened with me, it was with folks who themselves had no real genuine dedication to leftist causes, and were looking for stunts to market themselves and their brands with. They've shown that they didn't care about the groups of people I've hurt, and in fact they ended up showing their own toxicity. One of whom ended up revealing their pluralphobic stances and their desire to see me fall into self-harm territory.

And just to make sure there are no misunderstanding, "ex-"fascists who don't do the work to deprogram and deradicalize themselves, and yet expect to be accepted back freely can get absolutely fucked.

They absolutely do have to give what they can to antifascist groups to expose the fascist groups and their activities. In many cases, this can be a matter of life and death, as the info can be used to prevent a hate crime from happening.

They absolutely do have to spend at least a year reading up on leftist dialectics, and questioning their own beliefs with it. And by the end of it, they absolutely have to show at least a working level of proficiency in understanding leftist discourse.

They absolutely have to spend effort pushing back against fascist rhetoric, and to give aid to the vulnerable groups they once persecuted, as well as put in a good faith effort to fix the damage they caused.

They have to understand that despite their best efforts, not everyone has the capacity to forgive them, and that they aren't entitled to that forgiveness.

And finally, they have to understand that it is simply not enough to say "I was sucked in!" It is very important to also talk about what drew them in and what kept them in there. What was it about those groups that attracted them to it in the first place.

On top of that, they should absolutely own their actions and avoid the excuses. While there is something to be said about how anyone under the right circumstances could be radicalized, there is also some agency involved in the process, and recognizing it, and taking responsibility for it is part of the healing process.

Oh holy shit, this Claustrophobic Piano really feels good to play with on DecentSampler: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzI7rksaDbA