Goldkin @Goldkin@awoo.space

@vyruem (With fierce editing on the last reply, because a friend pointed out exactly how early drafts could be misread, and trying to explain that the human body really likes keeping certain constants intact is a challenge in even the best of circumstances, because biology is complicated. @..@)

@vyruem I’ve learned to pass as masculine for purposes of holding down a job. I’ve also considered trying to become biologically genderless, but I haven’t found a template that works yet.

And I’m still going through the motions while my brain is flailing, “aaaaa, I have no idea why any of this is necessary”.

So, tl;dr: my own use of the label is because my experience with gender is advg͙̬̖͖̫̮u͈̯̹r̛̫̯̜̟̤̼ͅj͇̘̳̳̝̺̻j͍̲̯̀r̳̞̱̣̗͘i̴̺͔̖̝c̪̦̤̜̘t̫̞̠̜͍̖͟ 🐲🎉🐾🔌🍿❄️☁️ FILE NOT FOUND

@vyruem For me, I have tried to gain traction on my own gender identity for some time. I’ve often described my experience as radio static, with no causal relation to masculine or feminine. I still identify as nonbinary, as such, with agender for “no definable gender identity”.

Which has itself caused me a great deal of dysphoria and inability to grasp social signals and norms, presenting a blank tabula rasa instead of masc, fem, or definable gender that I can identify.

@vyruem I saw this when it last came around. I didn’t have a good answer at the time, because I worried what I’d say would be too limited to my own personal experience and not generalize well.

But having the benefit of two weeks of it rattling around in my brain: there’s a difference, possibly represented as a spectrum with squishy relation to identity, between disaffection with gender norms and being genuinely incapable of internalizing or experiencing them.

I leave for a two week trip tomorrow. Five days for work, then hopping to Florida for Thanksgiving with family.

I wonder if I should try 3D art streaming again in the evenings for at least the first leg, to take the edge off travel-induced loneliness. Would that be a thing that interests people at, say, 8PM PST during the next week, or earlier the week of Thanksgiving?

@KawaSeadrake Word on the ground is that people are having fun, and staff were very helpful when I called in to ask about all this today, so not all of the shade is deserved. But, at a minimum, they should probably find a more competent social media manager and event coordinator.

@KawaSeadrake Yeah, learning this morning via Twitter that they chose to film a high profile documentary onsite — without advanced warning to attendees — is why I did not go today, despite having taken the day off in advance to do so.

Trust and communication are a big deal, and they seem to have botched that and are now performing damage control. I intend to check back tomorrow morning to see if I feel comfortable giving them Saturday, or if I’ll skip entirely.

Today, instead of going to a startup Seattle-area furry convention, I wrote a carefully-worded email on why their decision to host a documentary crew from CNN would bar my attendance. Con staff was extremely knowledgeable and helpful when I talked with them, and I don’t fault them for this, even though it’s probably not a great decision from the top.

The why on my part, though, wants for more discussion. And, in some ways, it’s been on my mind for awhile.

Which I guess is a reminder that, yes, I really did help fund and edit a game that lets you date several cute and lovely dragons.

Just be aware that, while the mod is light and enjoyable, the vanilla game’s story can be an emotional rollercoaster. I’m still very happy with how well it’s done on Steam, though.

Someone made an improved date mod for one of my characters in Angels with Scaly Wings, completely on their own, and it is very good. Aaaaaaaaaaa

It requires a copy of the game and mod tools to work: http://steamcommunity.com/workshop/discussions/18446744073709551615/1479857071266461127/?appid=571880

@WritingPrompts @Dex There is a game loosely based on this premise, and it is amazing: https://walsh9.github.io/dragon-taxes/

@mawr Chrome developer tools and script blockers tally the damage well. JavaScript and browser tabs all running tiny VMs are most of the damage.

As a fun side-by-side experiment, I recommend trying your most common websites in a text-only browser, then looking at its memory footprint. Elinks with JavaScript disabled is a good benchmark.

‪Please vote tomorrow, US folks (or for WA folks, if you haven’t already by mail). It is literally the most important thing you can do to help fix things right now.‬

Ever since I found ink that doesn’t bleed through the pages of my Techo (Japanese day planner), I’ve been inking undirected sketch studies:
https://awoo.space/media/j8C1J0SaqBKF_2L51Yc
https://awoo.space/media/tk76ZVoMMyRuovPHToY
https://awoo.space/media/L4FqGIjVuHAH6fPtjWc
https://awoo.space/media/FwKOym0BwznyDfiwWns