Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

I’m not necessarily a *good* person but I’m pretty innocuous; likes cats, drawing, hikes, etc etc. Like most people I’m furious about a lot of things when I’m not fearful and sad, so when I try intentionally to emphasize the positives, even though that actually IS who I am, if feels faked in context, if that one makes any sense.

@Yotenotes I’m sorry it’s this miserable. Hope the third party is able to help some.

I’ve been looking through “Visions of WAR” lately and Wayne Reynolds consistently roughs out paintings with tightly penciled main characters… and the backgrounds are light scribbles. Somehow he works these minimal suggestions to glorious painted backgrounds. It’s sheer magic!

A big thing I figured out this year is “stripped of negative childhood messages, bad experiences are still bad.” Fits with how intensity and frequency of events can turn just stress into catastrophe and maltheism. I largely can’t control unpleasant bullshit from slamming me. I CAN de-fuse childhood associations and catastrophizing which make unpleasant bullshit more intense (ie makes me more vulnerable to the next thing). Doing so while stressed is hard, though.

I could eat a 6 egg omelette right now with tomatoes and mushrooms and spinach. Then take a nap. Two things are definitely NOT in my future. That said I’ve got The Shaolin Afronauts as comfort listening on the bus.

Mnn, need coffee.

@frostwolf okay, because I'm baked right now you get DUNESPLAINING

So... if you haven't read the books (and if you do, read the first one, the rest are nice but not a must have) there was an AI revolt, then eventually humans revolted against the machines and in the wake of that, their entire society is deeply paranoid about, and has workarounds to avoid anything close to redeveloping AI.

So there's the Guild of Navigators (people who've used this super-drug-thing, Melange, to develop psychic powers like teleporting things, which is the workaround for how to have a spacefaring society without AI). They're threatening the Emperor of the Known Universe really subtly - "Ix has really good machines" essentially means "all we need to do is spread word that you *let* Ix develop AI and people will depose you."

I like to quote that chunk of the 1984 movie to indicate that I've just eaten pot.

@Sylvan Thank you! The big thing I wanted to do is work larger and even though I didn't knock out really *huge* portrait heads, I feel more comfortable with the movement needed to do that and the touchy-feely part of carefully adjusting features at that scale.

First Attack https://youtu.be/WnigFGD2MPE via @YouTube

oh no we are taken by surprise and with only conventional weapons by men who fight too well to be the local talent, they can only be the Emperor's super elite badasses. Maybe running around at top speeds yelling will help. Especially with a pug.

Trip To Arrakis https://youtu.be/gwyjyY3r9Gg via @YouTube

whoa so this is what it's like inside a bong

ahem

He who controls the spice controls the universe! And what Piter did not tell you is that we control someone close - very close - to Duke Leto. This person, this traitor is more valuable to us than five legions of Sardaukar! The Duke will die before these eyes and he'll know - he'll know! - that it is I, Baron Vladimir Harkonen, who encompasses his DOOM! Buahahahaha!

"Bladder... full. It's been hours since you last went. Your kidneys aching. Barely able to hold it. Water sloshing... Sloshing... Sloshing."
"GOTTA PEEEEEEE."
"Kul wahlad! No woman child ever took that much! You may go to the bathroom, young human."
* Paul races down the hall at top speeds, tensing PC muscles the whole time *

We have just folded space from Ix. Many machines on Ix. Far better than the ones on Richesse.

...on the other hand paying stuff now was a good judgment call, since it means I'm now incredibly depressed and angry eating dinner, and if I'd hit this after a bus ride before dinner I'd probably scream loud enough/throw shit enough for the neighbors to call the pigs or something.

I was REALLY SAD because the weekend was coming to a close, so I figured hey, I'm on the bus a lot this coming week; let me take care of rent and bills so I don't have to do them after a long bus ride. So I'm no longer sad! Because I AM ENRAGED AND WANT TO [description of graphic violence redacted].

Seattle's a fucking mistake. I should have never moved to this particularly worthless city.

One last #drawing today, a batch of portraits from imagination, working larger.

And I know; “you’re coyote, you’ll adapt. You always do.” But “I can change with this situation and find joy” *is* coterminous with “I feel lost and sad.”

Especially in former Northgate Mall - site of a few memories and now largely a big hole in the ground plus sports complex- melancholy is REAL easy to come by. I don’t want to suicide (I probably want to transition) but even in the sunlight, it’s uncomfy.

Meanwhile; most of my time goes to a job I dislike for people I’m neutral about, for what feels like not enough money for landlords’ and others’ greed. I’m slowly improving my art but there’s AI, constant hustling, far better artists and costs which preclude ever doing it FT. Cons, therapy, capoeira and dating seem out of reach; the threat of Covid and far right government is omnipresent, it feels like just time, now. Car’s in the shop, the hardest time of year lies ahead.

“I’m Trinity.”
“Dude! I thought you were a *dude*, dude!”
“Most groms think that.”
“Duuuude.”

#drawings today, wizard duel (dwarf vs goblin with familiar and walking throne), imho looking at Wayne Reynolds art had a positive influence. And, finished up a furry pinup from earlier this month, added more of that kobold “cozy fantasy” character I’ve drawn before.