Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

the special Australian release

"One by one, the fucking lands of Middle-Earth fell to the power of the Ring. Fair dinkum. Oath, there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Pommies marched against the armies of Mordor, and right there on the slopes of Mount fucking Doom they fought for the fucking freedom of fucking Middle-Earth."

I'm kidding because the Australian version of Lord of the Rings is, of course, Mortal Engines. A real good movie btw.

This was Honei-bukket, the great bathroom of the dwarves!

* light flashes from Gandalf's staff, illuminating row after row of cracked, long-abandoned urinals

* a single beam of sunlight plays on a shattered stall door, revealing a dwarven skeleton perched on the pot, journal still in bony hands

* massive Howard Shore music

seriously the idea of Cate Blanchett being all wistful and elfy while reciting ANYTHING cracks me up

You freely offer me a dry latte with four shots and a dash of hazelnut Torani syrup. *hand gesture*

In the land of Mordor the Dark Lord Sauron sewed in secret a master pair of pants. And into these he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his dump-truck ass. His serious badonkadonk booty.

* the camera zooms in on the Quenya runes for JUICY across Sauron's rear *

One pair to fit them all.

it's LORD OF THE FRANCE! the extravagant musical story of Louis XIV that'll have you tapping your feet in no time!

not to be confused with

LORD OF THE PANTS! Rather than being a dancing spectacular, it began with the Great Pants of Power. Sturdy Ben Davis overalls for the dwarves, great miners and blue collars. Elegant slacks for the elves, the eldest of all. And stone-washed jeans for Men, who above all things desire power. Yet they were all of them deceived.

Reusing the joke about “Croasian” cooking as Chinese food through the filter of an Eastern European/Slavic descent cook.

#subpost Personally, I want to be buried in a full chainmail hauberk and a spangenhelm, with a couple of buckets, a taafl set, seax and pattern weld sword, in hopes this confuses the hell out of future archaeologists.

#drawing last night

I love how Taco Bell ads are all "the new $7 Luxe it's lux for less get favorites from past decades are the 90s back" etc and meanwhile Jack in the Crack has the Munchie Meal which I feel is a more honest acknowledgement of exactly why someone wants to eat one.

@LexYeen oh you don't get me that easily *makes sure you actually threw it before racing at it*

this “Restful 1930s Radio for Naps” YouTube mix is crap, I woke up 30 minutes in and was promptly convinced Martians were landing in New Jersey

it's beginning to look a lot like naptime

https://youtu.be/kI1nNZuJDac?si=Cf5Jb4rjcTF7psJo

curse this eternal night, the unending centuries of completely shitty Goth relationship drama broken only by having three dots in Protean and two dots in Auspex

@LilahTovMoon that's where the people go who idealize the past without having lived it - which from the perspective of a post-scarcity society willing to send the military round to help out if needed, isn't a bad deal really.

I've never entirely grown to like the EEO forms. I always feel like they want to know what my forearm tattoo should include, something like that.

@LexYeen wait how can a population that predominantly grows their beards out be twinks?

The parade that’s electric serves no real purpose,
Just takes up a lot of juice just to impress us.

MANMAN! When teen Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive commuter at the Flushing Ave station, he gained incredible adult powers like the proportionate ability to do taxes as someone actually paid to do them, and masking nearly constantly perched on the verge of a meltdown!

alas I realized “Stan Sakai” has the same scansion as “Spider-Man” but can’t actually come up with a good filk for this

Wherever there’s a hangup
You’ll find the Stan Sakai

#drawing last night