Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

lee van cleef, but nobody ever tells you whether he was a treble cleef or a bass cleef

koff KOFFF koff koff koff
*drinks tea*

I'm okay, I'm okay. Just trying to sing along with Tom in my best Tom Waits voice wasn't a good idea this evening.

Can’t get post con depression if you’re depressed about not getting to the con!

Looking back it’s understandable but also a bit shocking that I lost years, opportunities and joy, all thanks to stuff that was total bullshit but which just hit home one thing after another.
Usually when low on sleep and blood sugar. Compounded by PTSD messages ability being stuck, trapped and treading water. Compounded by whatever weir way my brain works; I think okay *slowly* figuring stuff out on paper, but not so very when someone expects me to be a genius right now on command.

This year was the huge realization that stuff that’s unpleasant and uncomfortable, stripped of childhood associations and self hate, are still unpleasant and uncomfortable. That’s why I *have* those childhood associations and self hate; terrible experiences with no recovery time left me vulnerable, and then *anything* negative anyone told me (which is itself another unpleasant, uncomfortable thing with no recovery time!) was something I accepted as indisputable dogma.

🖼

I’m old and the world’s ending. I have more things to feel bad about than people treating me like I’m stupid.

“Huh huh huh huh. Cumdach. Huh huh huh. Vade mecum. Huh huh huh.”
“Yeah yeah yeah yeah! Hey Butt-heade, ych have alswo a cumdach!”
“Fettle down, dille-hole!”
#subtweet

#drawing today, skeletal warrior with fallen opponent.

current mood; declaring CHRISTMASTIME! during https://youtu.be/bAfbq57WlCk

This far into a pandemic that’s long past/imaginary/desperately threatening dependent on who you ask, having my mask hanging to one side still makes me want to tilt my head towards it and say things like “copy that red leader we’ve got four bandits headed your way, don’t prang.”

thinking about lots of things I wish I could be, wish I could do. An entire world of wants, none of which happen to include "ride the bus so I can process our customers' orders."

#drawing today, trying to make a Wayne Reynolds picture. Human wizard and orc/half orc warrior take on Fraz Ur’Bluu, demon lord of deception. I was also listening to Dungeon Weed. You can tell, right?

season 20 of Stranger Things, which features RHCP's "Suck My Kiss" as the gang battle it out with Malacanthet in 1992

Snow isn’t magical to me anymore. At least a brightly shining crescent moon is still.

Imagine if you could potentially coast for your entire life on your father’s wealth - we’re talking more annually than the GDP of Australia - and all you needed to do is pretend to be a boy and only when you were around the fucker, AND YET you chose to come out as trans and cut ties with him.

Granted “please honor my decisions about my own gender” is something everyone *should* be able to say freely but… that doesn’t say great things about the father in question.

Far from the Sword Coast are Faerun’s dalelands. Like Mistledale, Shadowdale, home to Elminster the Sage, and Dickdale on the coast, noted for its surf loving bards. *Misirlou*

I’m not necessarily a *good* person but I’m pretty innocuous; likes cats, drawing, hikes, etc etc. Like most people I’m furious about a lot of things when I’m not fearful and sad, so when I try intentionally to emphasize the positives, even though that actually IS who I am, if feels faked in context, if that one makes any sense.