Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

STUFF I DON'T NEED TO SPEND MONEY ON
* Onion rings
* Spicy spam fried rice
* Garlic noodles with grilled pork
* Burger with green chiles

Frodo of the nine fingers and the onion riiiiiing!

Current mood; blasting Schostakovich into my skull, looking up Makhnovist flags. Almost out of here today.

Maybe I’d hate people. Maybe I’d wind up in a more sexual/romantic relationship with people. Maybe I’d never be able to stay in touch anyway. BUT I CAN’T KNOW, BECAUSE I CAN’T MOVE.

So most of my friends are around Seattle; I have South Bay friends I almost never see, one South Bay friend I see sometimes; my friends near Santa Cruz are in new relationships, and it’s a huge drive. I’m terrible about meeting people here both cause time is limited and I get intimidated (esp everyone else feels like a valued coder and I’m me). I really wish I could hang out with Seattle people and I can’t afford a roadtrip let alone moving.

You say “Russian troll farms” and I imagine furrows with troll dolls planted with the hair sticking out, and you pick dolls by yanking on the hair like they’re mandrakes or something.

Peter Gabriel’s Lord of the Rings

Trying to remember that my experiences incline me towards despair and I have literally fewer serotonin receptors; while bits of me scream about how I’m ugly, stupid, the wrong ethnicity, nobody will actually want me as an so, and a myriad of things which are My Fault.

When I can set it aside mid downswing, it’s amazing how little emotional distance exists between my mood dipping and looping suicidal depression.

Yay self hate for not doing some form of gong fu or something more practical than (how I no longer) fence, lift weights or play capoeira.

Uhhhh

Traded not wanting to leave the computer to not wanting to leave the shower.

My body image sucks rn. Gonna listen to Army of Mushrooms again hoping to cheer up.

Uhhhhh

let's think about happy things instead of politics, like this earlier description of JRRT;

I kinda find [Tolkien's incessant elf songs] charming more in the context of "this is some WWI vet's conlanging project rather than book 7 of the Wheel of Fire and Dragonriders dodecology" than in the context of "this story was chugging along fine until we apparently needed a Sindarin ballad about cleaning socks."

Presumably "I need to take a mental health day" would sound terrible, but better than "I really hate having this body/ethnicity/level of artistic ability and just want to draw, masturbate and hide out in a forest."

Eh, I'll go in.

petty;

it grinds my gears that 3 of the top images that come up for "Ajaba" are my art (flattering esp. considering there are apparently some really gorgeous people wandering around with the name "Ajaba") and there's only one of them I particularly like.

THIS HEART IS COLD!
HE LOVES ONLY GOLD
ONLY GOLD
HE LOVES ONLY GOLD
ONLY GOLD
HE LOVES GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*gasp*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!

Uuuuhhh just painted the background and flatted a figure for a commission and fuuuck

‪ASSET OUT OF CONTAINMENT!

Chasing the Dragons https://youtu.be/wSTAMqOOHmc via @YouTube‬

#skreeee #kraaa

I’m an Ahroun of the Silent Striders.

(There are no Nuwisha, they vanished into the Umbra years ago, why do you ask?)

So I’ve been listening to New Adventures in Hi Fi and Accelerate, which are great albums! Accelerate really fits the mood rn, even if Stipe was writing about Bush II (honestly there’s only so much difference).

Like a lot of REM they seem to fit driving through the sort of empty countryside you get in north Georgia, which is a lot like Oregon and Washington empty countryside.

Which gets me to how I’d love Georgia and would move back if it were just the natural world.