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I'm so fucking tired of being me. Could I be someone actually worthwhile for a change?

Today is definitely one of those "the walls are closing in" days.

and THAT'S my excuse for listening to "Hanging Johnny" again, even if I can't sing along in the middle of Starbucks.

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Historical possibly trans note;

okay, so Anne Bonny and Mary Read both came from backgrounds of presenting male and both claimed to be pregnant when imprisoned for piracy, Mary supposedly came out as female to Anne after the latter was way interested in her etc etc. They're almost always presented as women rather than transmen.

Just in case you were wondering (I was) they were apparently ANDY Bonny and MARK Read respectively.

song lyrics, anti-war, homelessness 

ye haven't an arm, ye haven't a leg
an' the enemy nearly slew ye
now ye'll ha' to go out in the street and beg
oh johnny, what have they done to ye?

thanks to all of this Scots folk music, I've decided to declare for The Stuart when he comes back from across the water.

* fixes thistle in bonnet *

uh, should I tag that as ukpol?

uspol, capitalism 

Y'know, I have exactly no clue who Kylie Jenner is aside from that now I kinda wanna punch her in her smug mush.

I thought GoFundMe mostly existed for people who wanted to pay for... uh... you know, chemotherapy or dialysis or not being tossed out onto the street, that stuff.

Okay, assessments completed. I feel like complete crap right now.

mh -, sui 

fuck, my mood went straight from "okay, I kinda feel low on spoons and angry" to "if I had a firearm available, I'd need exactly one bullet to fix all my problems, and I would not be around this evening."

mh - 

oh boy apparently I ran a red in Lake Forest 'cause I couldn't see around this massive truck in time, and the Lake Forest PD wishes me to pay $136 for the privilege, cause I own a mansion and a yacht

and I was reminded about The Thing I Am Not Permitted to Ever Talk About

And so what was an ehh okay mood has now collapsed into complete despair. I would like to fucking die and get it done and over with now, please.

Yay, phone interview happened for 30 minutes! Then Monday I have a Skype interview with them, and I also need to crank some proficiency tests for them today but after that I’m done for today!

uspol 

YES! There’s a bill in the works to replace ICE at least! It’ll get shot down of course but fuck it, if we’re gonna slash budgets for such fripperies as the FDA and CDC it’s about time we considered spending less money on organizations which provide exactly nothing to this country.

dream last night, I made a My Little Pony fan character named Esper Anto (pronounced as two words), who could broadcast her thoughts clearly anywhere and at any time, but only in a conlang. Her cutie mark was some sort of Quenya rune.

I really haven't watched the show and have no real interest in making an OC so I'm not quite sure why my subconscious decided to gift me with this.

uspol 

emailed my Representative since her voice mail is full. I consider her to be one of the few actually good people in Congress. But she is only one voice among how many grasping, bigoted, theocratic, prepurchased voices?

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shitpost, listening to bits of Monty Python and the Holy Grail got me to Siegfried's Death and Funeral March 

A SWORD AGE AN AXE AGE
INIQUITIES MULTIPLY
A WOLF AGE UNTIL THE WORLD IS IN RUINS

movie quotes 

"Well *I* didn't vote for you"
"You don't *vote* for kings!"
"Well 'ow'd you get to be king then?"
"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the finest glittering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the waters, signifying by divine providence that I was to carry Excalibur. *That* is why I'm your king!"
"Listen m8, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."

I feel really ground down and out of sorts - I think this is a mix of missing sleep, job hunt anxiety and coming down after the roadtrip plus whatever all else. Currently I'm watching a batch of modelling videos thinking maybe this might knock some ideas loose as far as drawing/painting stuff.

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