Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

today's background music for a short crying jag is REM; https://youtu.be/aF-FkqkKFEU

“Megalania” has the same scansion as “here she comes again.” #ShesMyBestFriendsGirl

Yikes this is for [unethical megaultracorporation]? Ugh, I hate [unethical megaultracorporation], and the chirpy wallpaper plus designated interview rooms give me the heebie-jeebies.

okay so I prepped then boxed a batch of small sketchbooks and art; went through clothes, dropped off old nonfunctioning electronics and donation clothes in two separate locations, am gonna do an interview, will do laundry when I come back later. I think that's pretty good for dealing with terrible self-esteem and stress.

I'm gonna say something completely horrible, so please leave now if you need, and make sure there are no small children present. Ready? Here goes.

I'm thinking of getting rid of my old boogie-board and fins, I haven't used them in ages and they're just eating space.

@Oneironott @neonNeptunian @Kyresti would you want them, or want to use them later if I keep them?

In the headspace where I feel bad but not terrible, so there's enough energy to notice my self-image is currently shit. As in a lot of places, when I stop thinking in negatives, I realize I simply lack positives.

Monday I was badly looping negative self image and despair, so I'll take this.

Unfortunately, when I consciously think "Okay, all I have to do is keep moving and things WILL be better in the future," my PTSD answers with "what future, this is it, it doesn't get better."

*subversively drinks all the broth from the cup noodle without eating all the noodles*

here have a favorite vacant dance track https://youtu.be/u24zw0wMafY

"Music-maker man, your beats are bad!"
"yeah, they're BAD!"
"not good bad, bad bad!"
"whatever."

https://youtu.be/Pp0xs_xpTYo

Ever hear of the Judenzaehlung or Jew Census? It's part of the ramp up to what happened in the 30s/40s.

In 1916 Germany's high command (OHL) decides to tally where Jews are in their military. They assume HORRIBLE OUTSIDERS SHIRKING/IN GREEDY QUARTERMASTER POSITIONS etc.

The census promptly finds most Jews are in front-line combatant positions instead. So OHL promptly sits on the data and lets Germans reach whatever anti-semitic conclusion they like.

oh yeah my favorite Nine Inch Nails album, "Songs For Doing Backflips In Pleather Corsets While Firing Twin Skorpion MPs At Policemen In Slow Motion."

the best track has to be "Nihilism," which consists of Trent shrieking the word NIHILISM! for about 3 minutes straight, but man is it danceable

https://youtu.be/tzKDmS0zAPo

1) I love the way he turns this soggy het anthem into a song about the end of the world.

2) naturally the next thing to listen to is https://youtu.be/NM0PndALhIY which is my candidate for the music for the dance which will end the Fifth world and usher in the Sixth

#Spoonman #ComeTogetherWithYourHands #SaveMe #WithYourHands

and I've finally sorted through around four years of sketchbooks! A big outlay of effort and I currently feel like rewarmed death but I seriously cut down the amount of gunk I need to move.

I am *almost* done with paring down sketchpads to drawings I wanna keep/scan/rework.

So more memories. More dust inhalation. More finding little whimsical things my parents bought me on their vacations which would be a lot more charming if they came with more actual support and interest. I'm thinking of sending them to people who ask.

And here comes the anxiety and self loathing train, CHOO CHOO ALL ABOARD!

What gets me is out of all the cinematic and television villains you can get as Funko Pops they’ve never made the shark from Jaws.

Role playing game quibble; RIFTS is full of dinosaur mecha vs superheroes, Mexico is entirely vampires, etc and what really bugs me about the setting is that Germany has NGR all over their stuff rather than them being the NDR.

Sitting’ in the Half-Price Books, thinkin’ nasty thoughts.

Continued trying to halve my possessions. I go through an okay number of sketchbooks and then let them pile up - which means now I'm pulling drawings I want to keep and discarding the rest, from back to 2014 at least.

Which means a lot of seeing who I was in 2014-2017, which isn't entirely happymaking. I haven't exactly had a great life.

Gonna shower, do a trash run, print stuff at Kinko's, try and sell books.