hypervigilence/cptsd/religion
so I wind up feeling okay about the evening, and going to sleep and soon I'm off dreaming about closing venetian blinds in a room not my own when suddenly the upstairs neighbor kid is having some sort of crying screaming meltdown, and THEN suddenly there are adults stomping around yelling and my other upstairs neighbor stomping around. A little into taking melatonin I realize I'm actively triggered and hypervigilent and yeah, no, it's not happening. One half edible later, and there's still occasional stomping.
gyatei gyatei haragyatei harasogyatei boji sowaka hannya shingyo
#subpost Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll wind up among the stars
an immense dark shape drifting in the space between spaces, defying any sane geometry, slit-pupiled eyes closed as tentacles twitch in no-longer-human dreams
awaiting the hour that you are summoned back once more
very late breakfast today uses up the last okra, the last canned corn, leftover potatoes, some of the remaining cabbage, a jar of curry my Dad gifted me with when I asked to buy curry from the store.
I was not told much about adulthood and one of the things nobody told me was how many meals would be use-up-stuff-I-bought-while-stoked-about-it.
It's not so much I'm a shit artist, but I'm an UNINFORMED or INEXPERIENCED artist. Which is different; that can be improved with time and effort, but when I focus on A I'm by definition not going to be that great at B, and largely self taught working day jobs means that improvement is real slow.
And unfortunately while this seems factual now, younger me did not come from a great place, and thus spent a lot of time wallowing in I'm-a-shit-artist. Heck I still do it now. Not very helpful.
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.