Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

In The Call of Cthulhu, the horrific thing isn’t just the big C, who’s basically someone’s fat fur/macro dractopus ‘sona (way cuddlier when phrased like that).

It’s that 1) big C is one of an *entire species* of huge dractopi (they later show up as a reason the Elder Things didn’t overrun the world); and 2) C is just the high priest of much more powerful stuff.

If that’s how bad things get when only the big C shows up, having zir city or gods show up is infinitely worse.

Before work, I plonk down to draw at Starbucks (it’s a bit too crowded to easily move elsewhere in the shop) and the guy at the next table is laughing. Just chuckling steadily- no guffaws or tear-upwelling uproarious laughs, just a steady chuckle for 15 minutes or so. *Not* the sort of laughing you do when you’re hugely stressed.

Like having a laugh track but those have far more variation.

The only person around here is me right now. It's so quiet here and now that I don't want to play music, just because I want to really feel this.

Ran into my friend Alice while she was doing the rounds and she talked to me a little while sampling grass from two different lawns!

I don’t like the company’s oh hey Nazis are always cool, and I really don’t like the single company has virtual dominance over public dialogue paradigm we live in, but this is different from “people working there, who could be anyone, face something utterly horrible.”

Oh wow the A/C finally flipped on. That helps. Thinking of drawing wererats. Wish I could just head home.

Ohboy. I’m bored at work, faintly overheated (this place is poorly air conditioned) and don’t feel comfortable hauling out a sketchbook (this would help me feel better). But right now birdsite is a manure fire.

3) Shonen Knife

“Giant Kitty”
“Bear Up Bison”
“Riding on the Rocket”

2) Rollins Band

“Starve”
“Alien Blueprint”
“Illumination”

1) REM

“Nightswimming”
“Don’t Go Back to Rockville”
“Belong”

Well hey nobody’s asked me about lewds for #TMItuesday, so why not talk about music?
https://awoo.space/media/CtfPx0sJBJc1AIGn6L0

I *do* have cis-male and white guilt.

What’s *also* true is I don’t especially “feel” male. I mean yeah that’s my assigned birth gender and my sexuality is kinda phallocentric but it’s like eye color. If my eyes changed color it wouldn’t change anything. If I woke up with girl bits I’d masturbate differently, that’s all. I like having okay muscle definition, I hate having all this body hair.

Really. Former southerner or UM alum are way way bigger identities to me.

Oh hey it’s #TMItuesday, ask me stuff if you like?

Wow, Weezer’s Blue album is really bleak if you’re in the right mindset to see it as pessimistic at all.

okay. breathing, remembering I have been wanted in the past and will be again. I take refuge in the Buddha, I take refuge in the dharma, I take refuge in the sangha.

I hate how weekends are about being emotionally wobbly or pulling myself out of a funk Friday night and Saturday, and then Sunday I might feel okay and then hey guess what, Monday again.

the correct response to being constantly worried about money is probably *not* to skip work and drive to Santa Cruz and hang out around tidepools.

ugh, I'm not digging how every time I try to think of something nice (like "I want to shave my head into a mohawk again, and dye it" or "I seriously should get a copy of Volo's Guide") I think about how money's limited because money's always limited and I'm back to practically panic attacking.