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*hears sirens*
*opens window*
*does not hear coyotes*
*is disappoint*
*closes window*
:/

Google just asked me to rate an entire town on Google maps

lewd joke 

isn't a subvocalization when the bottom squeaks???

*sudden disorienting bout of anxiety*

uh... eheh. okay. need to go self-care a bunch now. :|

youcaring.com/nikolaivitcovsch

I have 226 in my account. I need 250 to get my car back and I’ll still need another 100 for insurance that pulls through in 4 days.

Any help is immensely appreciated.

my paypal is paypal.me/jorjcardas if you don't want to fool with YC.
(Please ignore my deadname T_T)

BBC released an image of the new Doctor's costume and I can't get over it. She's so cute!! #DoctorWho

Type "Hey baby" and let predictive text write your terrible pick up line.

Hey baby I can get a Subway while I'm getting ready to head out to dinner with you.

ultimate 80s fanfic 

“So, the Labyrinth is a piece of cake, is it? It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And in 9 hours and 23 minutes, you’ll be mine!”

You think I don't have de Gaulle to make bad French puns?

I have nothing Toulouse.

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it to the van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

"Monsieur, this is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Some folks on birdsite are tagging our project account in tweets like "hey jack twitter should copy this thing mastodon does". The idea that this is merely about features is short-sighted. Twitter will never, ever, ever be your friend. They are the shareholders' friend, not yours. No feature will let you see what their engineers are working on, what's under the hood. No feature will fix their headquarters in the US following and enforcing US laws and customs worldwide.

but right now I'm drinking a peppermint tea with lactose-free eggnog and relaxing. ^____^

okay, if nothing comes up that makes me need to leave the house (and I don't anticipate anything will do so), I'll bleach and regreen tomorrow. *DETERMINATION*

back! sleepy. may shower. want to nap, but probably won't.

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