RAWR
Six o'clock start to the day, half an hour before my alarm went off. My roommate's driving me to the airport. It's early, but I'm awake. Winthrop wanted a coffee, then started sleeping in the back seat; it'll be cold by the time we arrive. He didn't really want coffee. I've promised him a hot cup of tea when we arrive.
Seven days without @ElectricKeet is an eternity. It's not even a baraka; it's just a very long time. Em wanted to listen to Starcadian to start the trip. HE^RT. #tfnyuu
RAWR
I don't feel ready. I never do before flights. This one even more than normal. And yet, I know I'm as prepared as I can be, given everything leading up to it. @mawr and Raow were over last night, and I've left plenty of leftovers. This all weighs on what I want to write while I'm there. I did a novel in three days.
Mountain's out this morning, seeing me off. I'll be home soon, with much to show for my time.
RAWR
The music cut out at "entoptic symphony." Hell of a send-off, Emrys. Security was easy, insofar as indignity to personhood can be easy. Can the microwave scanners spot what's left of American decency?
Found a tigrox at the airport. Breakfast at Beecher's. Full flight to Sacramento.
https://awoo.space/media/0jp7SkJLd7dNXYdsP0U
RAWR
Giant 3-D rabbit. @Momentrabbit, your team, I presume?
https://awoo.space/media/AxrQpzS3DWYAq62sjMg https://awoo.space/media/bRzTJi0cGbgmpL0GqoY
RAWR
21% battery remaining.
For found by a tigrox this time. Waiting for the third in the carpool to land, but Nighteyes' flight is late. Got Lovetop stuck in my head now. Winthrop was well-behaved on the flight, which was just long enough to get halfway into an Isaac run.
... scratch that; third plane in the ground. We're moving again.
RAWR
Nighteyes and Ocean are in the front seat, talking about past submissions. I'm so unused to short story stuff; after three novels, I'm more accustomed longer-form work, with all the pitfalls that come with it. I'm out of my element. I have to believe I'm not out of my league.
RAWR
Now passing "Fugu Lounge: Sushi and Sports Bar."
Welcome to California.
RAWR
A brief stop at In-n-Out, and we're back on the road. Ninety-six miles to South Lake Tahoe. This is happening. I'm excited, if nervous. Still feeling like I'm a little outclassed. Still going to do this.
RAWR
Out here, you can see where the sky touches the land. Seven-thousand feet up, it's easy to feel like everything is down from here. This isn't the highest, but it's pretty high. High enough.
RAWR
We arrived at the retreat hours ago, but we've been busy since we arrived. A brief introduction from Alkani, then several hours of philosophy with John Otter. We ordered pizza, then recorded an episode of Fangs and Fonts.
Tomorrow, the first lecture, the first assignment, and a six-thousand word story to produce, plus up to 12,000 words of reading and critiquing. This is going to be _intense_ if nothing else.
Alkani called it a crucible. I've tempered before. I'm ready.
RAWR
Tomorrow, the work continues. Tonight, we sleep. (CW: bare shoulders, exposed collar)
RAWR
I paid for the king bedroom on the retreat, so I have a solo room at the top of the stairs. Great for filling the space with sound and isolation, with one tiny challenge: an east-facing bay window with a balcony. The balcony is lovely. 06h30 is earlier than I'm used to being woken by the sun.
Crucible. Woken by the sun. I could read all kinds of things into this, but they'd be projecting. Then again, synchronicities. A reminder to look at the rest of my syncretisms at some point.
RAWR
Lunch with Kyell and Ryan. That went oddly; topics of conversation got intense in ways nobody was expecting. It's day two. It's going to get tighter before it relaxes. That's the way of it.
The first lesson on critiques was eerily refreshing. Mostly, I keep forgetting to code-switch my knowledge, and I keep forgetting what I know. Easy to do that.
The first stories are up for review. Eighteen-thousand words to read tonight, four-thousand to write by tomorrow.
RAWR
Critiques of phase one stories are done. Outline is confirmed Ouch Fuck Why. There's a few things to add to it, but it's ready to go. Time to write. Names must be changed to protect the innocent, but I'm proud of the emotional arc of this one.
Smash capitalism.
RAWR
2323 words tonight. This one fucking hurts. It hurts because it cuts deep and slow. It hurts because the outline uses my kids' names to capture the emotional states I'm trying to reproduce. It hurts because I'm revisiting Irokai after eight years. It hurts because it needs to be written.
RAWR
06h30 again. The custard I prepped last night and the stale croissants we all left became French toast this morning with a side of scrambled eggs. Three cups of coffee so far, and my eyes are vibrating. We've had our first round of tearing each others' stories apart. It felt surprisingly refreshing, being able to embrace the critique.
The official critiques haven't happened yet, but they will. First lecture: confidence and creativity.
RAWR
18h30. Second submission for the retreat is finished at 5585 words. I baked pork-and-zucchini enchiladas as a reward for my efforts, and now I'm relaxing before heading up to my room to critique three stories. Eighteen-thousand words to read and eighteen-hundred more to write. Then I'm done until the next round of stories show up, which... will feel very weird. I'm ahead of schedule.
This hurt in a very good way.
RAWR
And for those who'll recognize him, Jules shows up in this one. I finally got to do something with him again. That feels _so_ good.
RAWR
00h16. Stories read, critiques submitted. Six hours of sleep before Apollo comes knocking. Exhausted but weirdly empowered. I feel like I'm doing really well, personally. The group is gelling well, even in the weird ways in which it isn't. We're all cognizant of the outliers and working around them. I think this is a really good class, and a good group, and I hope we continue to work well as a unit.
This has been really good for me, and I'm glad I came. I miss mai poni.
RAWR
About the only real weirdness is that Ryan Campbell is one of the instructors, and he and I had to have a superquick level-set of "we'd love to be friendly but we're teacher/student here." We've been friends for fifteen-plus years, we've got a really lasting friendship, and we've both agreed we have to put that all aside so we can avoid any appearance of favoritism. Great to be on the same page. Sad, no chance of canoodling with the teacher for a better grade.
RAWR
... I would not canoodle for a better grade. I would enjoy canoodling in general. There's been a lot of talk about canoodling here. The punch went over really well -- only halfway through the event and it's almost gone. Folks said iked my enchiladas, and tomorrow I'm cooking alfredo!
It's like I turned into a social creature at some point. This is really weird.
RAWR
13h30, and I'm in a weird situation. I've done all my reviews for round one, I've submitted my story for round two, and I haven't gotten anybody else's critiques for round two yet. I could work on editing my existing story, but I've got a review session with Kyell in half an hour and I don't want to be heads-down in the middle of development when he shows up.
I... have free time? This is strange.
RAWR
23h30. What reviews of round two I can do are done. Tour through the hot tub. Time for drinks. I cooked alfredo for dinner. I have three reviews left to do tomorrow, and whatever critique on Last Meal to receive and process and include. I think Last Meal will be my June Patreon post, which will go up as soon as I finish the edits.
RAWR
12h30. Reviews of Last Meal are back. I was less hurt by it than I thought I would be. Several chunks of advice were "you should do X," which I thought I'd already done, so I had to go digging. Thankfully, though, doing so produced results! So, the review session was incredibly fruitful, but also it good to see that my instincts about what were needed to make the story work. I just need to refine them a bit more.
RAWR
01h15. The last critiques are done, and the last edits for Last Meal are finished. I think... I think this story is some of my best work, and I think this retreat helped. This has helped me in so many ways, and I'm so glad I did this. I miss @ElectricKeet immensely -- I have from the day i got here -- but this will still have been worth it when I get home.
RAWR
The last round of delivered critiques are done. All of the required writing is finished. I hate to say it, but we're actually... kinda done. There's a movie night tonight, and I have a last review session, but all the _work_ is over.
This has been an incredible experience, and I look forward to coming back and trying to collate all my thoughts. It won't be the first thing I do when I return, but It's on my list.
RAWR
Midnight. We're at the last night of the event, and we just recorded our closing Fangs and Fonts. I'm drunk, and I'm missing @ElectricKeet, and we're about to watch RHPS. I see you shiver with antici....
RAWR
08h00. Perhaps not my wisest night, but with everything else being "done," I did it anyway. I was up to 3am with TJ watching RHPS and talking about comparative religion, and neither of those is a euphemism for anything else. Then I woke up at 06h00, realized what a terrible idea that was, and crashed again until 07h30.
One last closing lecture, a group photo, and then we close out the space. Then lunch. Then we drive. Then we fly.
RAWR
Please return buni to specified destination:
RAWR
Last lunch is done. We're in the car to SMT.
RAWR
And through security. I'll be here for two hours while I wait for my plane, but very soon I'll be back home with mai poni. I hope these memories last a very long time. I learned a lot, I had a fantastic time, and I want to see this group come together and succeed. I want to see our class, and the one that came before, help boost the furry literary tradition. I want to see us inspire the ones who come after us. I want to build a legacy.
RAWR
@literorrery *offers many hugs for you*
RAWR
@literorrery You're actually cooking for folks? That's pretty awesome. :-)
RAWR
@literorrery *Cheering for you from the sidelines* :D
RAWR
@literorrery Oh, awesome. I miss him.
RAWR
@literorrery It's easier to be a social creature when you're around Your People. :-)
RAWR
@Momentrabbit @ElectricKeet ... pation.
RAWR
@literorrery @ElectricKeet *throws toast at phone*
RAWR
@literorrery is a coproduction of TSB. Cascadia. Rand McNally-Aerospace. And continued support from Viewers Like You. <3
RAWR
@literorrery I always saw your art as more Dionysian ;)
RAWR
@Fuego **laughs!** There's definitely influences there, too.
RAWR
What I'm learning, as much as anything, is that I really do know what I think I know, that my knowledge isn't invalid, just untested. Theories are right, but lacking in practice. This will be practice. Lots of it. I can live with that.