Pastelbat @pastelbat@awoo.space

@theoutrider & @bentosmile don't like Deep Space 9 and the Les Miserables musical

But despite these failings they're still two of my Problematic Faves here and I'm grateful to be friends with them both

🌈 No obstacle can withstand the power of forgiveness and that's beautiful 🌈

I still crack up whenever anyone posts

" something about whales [cetacean needed] "

Please never stop doing that joke

I got some Unity learning stuff done!

Like, today was "foggy ughhh fffn push through do this" (which is not a good idea for learning tasks) but then chilled for a bit with K and came back to it a couple of hours later and got some actual stuff done

And felt like I absorbed what I was doing, which is the important part

Unity Updater:
Unity is up to date!
Version: 2017.3.4

That seems somewhat unlikely, Unity.. =_=

Thinking about ideas and inspirations for (currently still concept art design stage) isometric tactics game where the core gameplay is fighting Big Monsters as a party and

Wow if Mouse Guard doesn't absolutely nail that "I will never achieve how cool you make this look, wow" in its fight scenes

Like, just that "Wow. Big.. Big.. Big predator. And we are tiny creatures with pointy bits of metal. I feel outclassed here." vibe

"Tell me.. Are the kids still arguing about whether Kanye is problematic?"
"No, Grandza Bat. Kanye uploaded himself into a robot panther body and flew off to Alpha Centurai."
"Oh.. Okay. Was it problematic?"
"Oh, very problematic."
"Okay."

Like, my knowledge of pop music is 4-5 years dated *at best*, 7-8 years at worst.

Movies I'm slightly more up to date with..! But I don't go to the cinema because Loud.

Memes kinda drift down to me when they're already Old & Established, and I have often have no clue where they came from.

As my freefall towards 30 reaches terminal velocity, I've deliberately avoided the "Ohh so olddd" type stuff, because it's a pointless brainweasel, and I've had enough time to ingest people from 23-28 doing that and realise the intense-eye-rolling nature of the whole thing is cyclical-

But I've ended up with kinda adjacent phenomena from being off of mainstream social media for a few years..?

I think all that stuff's why I've always felt way more "Ughhhh tablet drawing do I have to?" even with a screened tablet, even after years of using them

Because of the increased onus in digital art to.. Idk, look not-sketchy, combining with a more slippery surface making all my motor coordination stuff worse

Reblogging because huge monster arms that fold into an elegant dress is just such a good aesthetic

Like.. I'm good at the sketchy stuff. I can paint, do light, volumes, stuff. But.. Linework, always takes 4x as long as all that for like, 1/4 the result.

And that's.. Obviously tied in with my Dyspraxia. Not everyone's, but.. How mine presents? I absolutely struggle with that kinda motor coordination, and.. Struggling against it, making drawing something I loathe doing for a step that takes longer than the rest combined, just to make it "look good", where "good" means "like everyone else's", pushes me away from doing it at all.

And I kinda internalised all that.. "It's just practice, it's just engaging your shoulder, it's just [other 101 stuff]." And I wanted to make art with crisp, clean lines, when the way I've always drawn has never had crisp, clean lines. It's always.. A democracy of lines, sculpting the line I want from little steps, not this sweeping single motion.

And.. Idk. Spending years getting told that's just a Beginner's Habit, that it's something some people do, but you grow out of as you Develop.. Always made that feel like, 'unworthy' as a way of doing it. Like my art wasn't complete, that it wasn't.. Really making any progress.

But.. Now I consciously reflect on it, I have no time for that. Not being able to make art in the styles I admire is a shame.. But not being able to make it at all is worse- I spend very limited time/energy/pain-threshold resources on fighting how my body does things, and burning myself out doing it other people's way. And I end up hating doing art as a result.

There's no Good Technique in that, nomatter what your shoulder's doing.