Crinklewott 💕 @thingywott@awoo.space

maybe i'm missing something?

if you see a thing that seems bad to miss, definitely gimme a heads up

it's an important topic to me because i live my kinks 100% of the time because it adds a tiny bit of ambient happiness to every moment i'm alive–but i also want to be respectful with how i do it–so i'll always keep myself hidden

but like, does someone like me deserve acceptance in how i live? or am i fair game for all repercussions if discovered because i chose this optional thing myself?

i feel like the ambiguity stems from the fact that anything that has the possibility of ever being sexual is assumed to basically *always* be sexual

like, it took ages for furries to not be assumed to be %100 "a sex thing"

and well, no shade to sex stuff, but i think the distinction is important when considering the tangible policies that people who like certain things are restricted by because of this

consent is always king, so nobody should subject others to sexual things they don't EXPLICITLY want to be involved in

but it also does make me wonder what it means for kink-positivity as a whole; do kinks deserve acceptance as a thing that people don't need to hide as much?

where anyone who has a kink doesn't need to quash their non-lewd existence as if parts of it were "deviant sex things" when they actually are just plain 'ol interests on overdrive

would this be bad somehow..?

but are those associations flawed?

are people limiting their interaction with non-lewd things because they think they are?
are they associating all the mental baggage society has about sexual things with them wrongly?

nintendo has this thing where a lot of stuff they put in their games would be treated like porn if it was drawn by a fan; where things are only "not sexual" if it's in popular media

this combined with how kinks manifest in non-lewd ways all the time for fans makes me wonder…

it's like the definition is just "something where the very existence of that thing makes us happy, and being reminded about it, or being able to live with it is something we just generally enjoy a lot"

and if we like those things enough that they happen to not seem out-of-place during lewd situations, they take on their common associations and characteristics that non-ace people seem to experience

what even ARE kinks?

it seems like the definition implies that you like the idea of a thing during sex, but it's obviously much, *much* more then that. i mean, asexual people are some of the thirstiest people i've ever met kink-wise!

are they just a tier of enjoying things that goes beyond simply liking something? where they aren't actually sexual, but just things that we like enough that the idea of them being included in those situations doesn't seem unpleasant?

@ky0ko ooh, congrats!

i love the feel when pull requests get merged into things you use~ ^^

i'm like, the exact opposite of what the person who invented spanking was probably envisioning

having a fetish is wild

me: i feel sad
*gets spanked*
me: actually, i'm pretty happy

@EeveeEuphoria AGREE

@typhlosion oof, yeah, i feel you

i hope you feel better soon though! personally, i'm thinking i might try to go outside for a bit to kick this funk

i usually don't think about doing that, and i have nowhere in particular in mind, but hey! maybe i'll find something neat or refreshing. hee

@typhlosion i feel like i've been a bit of a bummer locally; i'm sorry if i've been adding to this

it probably doesn't help with all the external stuff happening right now, huh? :T

@SoniEx2 don't negotiate with terrorists. if someone keeps doing this to you, remove that person from your life instead of trying to manipulate them to feel bad

someone like that probably doesn't care about your mental health, and self-harming would only hurt the people who actually do care enough to not do that

remember, externally, self harm *only* affects the people who care about you, which is why it's abusive to leverage it for manipulation

@PaulFerence it works too :(

i never have any idea how to handle that, because i do care about these people, and i don't want them to harm themselves--and it extremely sucks when they self-harm and i know one of my decisions directly influenced that

but i also know that complying would mean i'm rewarding the idea of self-harm

so it becomes a huge pressure point for me that i hate, and if it happens often enough, i have to find a way to justify cutting off the abuse

apply this to the concept of punishment, and suddenly it starts to look a lot different

suddenly, it becomes a game of chance whether or not you are going to end up in a situation where society as a whole has decided that you *must* be harmed

a lottery of pain

this makes circumstance an even larger agent of chaos than it already is, and i don't think that's a good thing--it's yet another way for the world to become more pointlessly cruel to the unprivileged

the main reason i mentioned "ignorance" is because i feel like a lot of consequences are justified by the assumption that people are the way they are, and that they "100% know what they are doing"

and the problem is that, well, *a lot of people do know what they are doing*...but a lot of people are the way they are because they got unlucky with the context that surrounds them

i don't think we try to differentiate these two things nearly enough

i wonder how many people could be reformed if we put more energy into trying to do that, instead of considering ignorance to be a good enough justification to scar people for life

and, would people who were wronged even want that? or would the lack of retaliation when possible be seen generally enough as robbing them of their justified schadenfreude?

you know, i get the reason it exists, but i really do hate the idea of punishment

there's just something about someone extensively harming others in a way that is deemed "acceptable" that just makes me very uncomfortable

part of it is just raw empathy for anything that can feel, yes–but i'm also convinced that it's applied much more than it's actually needed (as opposed to more peeps addressing underlying issues with ignorant people and the environments that shaped them)

hm. maybe i should post some of my diaper selfies here..?

i don't take a lot of pictures of myself, but maybe others might like them!

@rufflebat oh, thank you!

i really need to be extra careful with how i spend my spoons in a day now, so i've gone full-on structure-mode

that lets me use habits to take care of stuff that would normally require willpower so i can have more energy to do other stuff~