Crinklewott 💕 @thingywott@awoo.space

i gotta do more things with friends tbh

i mean sure, i *can* pomodoro my way through that, but i kinda don't want to *have* to

the part that's confusing is that it has turned into this persistent-but-transient hobby that seems to just vaporize whenever i interact with it

it's actually a pretty massive tease tbh

it's always interesting to me how my programming interest waxes and wanes

i wonder why it does that?

i get the itch to write things pretty often on an almost-aesthetic level, but that disappears pretty quickly whenever i actually really sink my teeth into a project

i used to sleep on this entire style of roguelike, but there's a lot i actually like about it

you can get information about almost everything in the game, in the game itself--very seldom do you run into situations where you just outright die because you didn't know details that you can only figure out by having a character die to them

i mean, it's still mega-hard, but like, in a strangely chill kind of way

it also has surprisingly good ui compared to other roguelikes from the same era

i still have mad respect for angband tbh

that's especially true now that the most recent versions allow you to have persistent dungeons, so you can't just use staircases to escape bad luck--and it makes exploration have a lot more meaning since you only have a limited number of items you can find before you delve deeper

hearing that people fantasized about others was confusing, because that sort of thing simply never happened to me

it still doesn't

but i'm also not ace--i do like the idea of sex, even if it's not even close to the forefront of my sexuality

it turns out, that's actually what being demi can mean--and my previous self exclusion was just gatekeeping because i didn't want to invade a space where i still kinda suspect i'm not welcome

growing up, i heard a lot of things about hormones, and eventually being attracted to people

and that did happen! but not even remotely in the sexual way that everyone around me experienced it. it was mostly me liking the idea of having a really close friend who would always be there with me!

i mean, i did still get horny, but never towards anyone. instead the targets were the ideas of fetishes that were initially so confusing for me

i was horny, but i didn't want to sex anyone

hm, i always kind of suspected that i was demisexual, but with some caveats

but looking more into it, i'm realizing it actually fits really, *really* well?

i've never really interacted with lewd concepts in the same way as people around me--but i definitely still had a libido

but the things that make it happen are almost exclusively aesthetics, and even when someone wants to have sex with me, i'm still hesitant, and almost rather not doing that except within these aesthetics

because of course you would, wanikani

my girlfriend thinks i'm adorable, and i just feel like bursting!

hee. i like being called cute

it makes me feel all warm inside each time

currently, i'm looking at:

cunning: https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/general-feats/cunning/
spell focus: https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/general-feats/spell-focus
and possibly eventually cunning caster: https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/general-feats/cunning-caster/
spell mastery looks interesting too: https://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/general-feats/spell-mastery/

the idea that i can adapt to more unique situations really appeals to me, and the idea that my very dumb ideas will have a higher chance of actually succeeding makes me very happy!

but, how good of an idea is this?

could anyone recommend some good feats for an early-game illusion wizard?

i'm pretty new to the game, and i basically plan on sherlocking my way through the campaign, and using the information i gather to control enemies (or unhelpful NPCs) with specifically-targeted illusions and mind games

i kinda just want to give myself as many options as possible to do creative and interesting things

the ability to have high damage output would be a plus too! (but is less important)

maybe i should start approaching people for reals, and start really trying to curate my crowd

in fact, when things slow down enough, i think i'm going to do exactly that--after all, it was my resolution!