when you wake you have a Pepsi craving. weird, since you've never had soda before in your life
at work you start noticing stuff out of the corner of your cybereyes: familiar billboards, vending machines, friends' actual drinks - all Pepsi-branded now, even things Pepsi would never sell
that evening you can barely comprehend your fav news podcast; the feed's near crowded out by intrusive thoughts about that fucking soda
but you do catch one line about "viral marketing"
@hystericempress yeah but i would PLAY that resulting RPG, probably with a hell of a lot more enthusiasm than I have ever been able to play a JRPG. :)
stress, cats, anxiety, mh, relationship, conflict (--)
Sigh. This morning, Peg and I had the worst blow up at each other we've had in years.
We're OK. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that bad. Sugarfoot scratched me up again (sigh), and while I was rushing to the bathroom in a panic to assess the damage, Peg thought it would be a good time to respond to my pleas that I was incredibly stressed by deliberately annoying me for "fun."
She... does that. She's got a contrarian streak like crazy. Like, she's the main model for Olivia in Parallax. If she's in the right mood, "Peggy, NO!" immediately and instinctively translates to "Peggy YES!"
And I lost it for a minute.
I'm actually real proud of myself. I maintained the presence of mind to get all my frustration and stress out vocally. No tableflipping, no self-harm, none of the dumb shit I used to do when I was living with Those People and at the constant brink of confusion, self-loathing, and worry.
It's amazing what a difference it makes, having a partner that will instantly support you when they stress you out -- instead of trying to analyze everything you've done for "solutions," or make it all about how YOU hurt THEM, even though you could have sworn you were the one who came to them with the plea that you were hurting.
The thing that really scared me is that we STILL had to deal with moving the freaking cats back to the kittenarium after that, and it unnerved the shit out of me, being near them and stressed and not 100% sure I was in full self-control.
Everything went okay. I didn't eat nobody. I feel like Sugarfoot even apologized in her way, and it's still really heartwarming and calming that the kittens will still settle in my lap and purr trustingly, even after the fourth time that day I'd been the Bad Guy and had to snatch them away from a toy* (read: "any object whatsoever, preferably a mildly dangerous and quasi-edible one we didn't know was there") and carry them back to their room.
Peg sat down with me and gave me an S-rank reassurance that I'm getting better and better at controlling these "caged tiger poked with stick" panics -- apparently the whole incident lasted all of three minutes, and I spent a bunch of it explaining I wasn't really mad, just really frustrated and overwhelmed.
Still. Then we wound up having a conversation about just how much of the household stuff -- dishes, cleaning, kitten adoption, Peg's *health insurance* -- has been falling by the wayside and how much it's stressing me out.
The cats are having a pretty profound impact on her, and she's apparently putting off major stuff because... well... every time we go from room to room a freakin' cat follows us and demands attention, and if we try to pick Sugarfoot up we gotta roll 1d4 and get bitten on a 1. :p
So right now my big thing is that I'm really torn between "OMG we gotta get these freakin cats out of here for Peg's sanity" and "OMG I saw Sugarfoot snuggling her kittens this morning, she's JUST NOT READY to see them disappear."
I feel like no matter what we do, someone I really care about is gonna get traumatized.
re: general low-grade whining, drugs, mild uspol
oh and we're almost out of weed
and i suspect that smoking is part of what's irritating my sinuses and making me dizzy anyhow
i need to pick up a damn vaporizer, but i'm half-afraid to order anything that might be considered "paraphenalia" in this shitty red state hellhole (which, to be fair, has this really quite lovely blue city nestled in it)
general low-grade whining, some uspol, some venty violent imagery, some stupid adorable kitties
disclaimer: life is actually pretty good and compared to a lot of people i don't have any right to complain
that said here is my list of complaints :)
been dizzy and nauseous all day long. pretty sure it's my ears/sinuses. this has been a really nasty chronic issue in past years so i'm not thrilled to see it back. at least a good hard sneeze seemed to equalize things for now.
stomach's been upset all day too. that one's all my own stupid fault; i'm processing multiple days of pizza and shit
meanwhile am up and working, mostly because sugarfoot and the kittens were being noisy and obnoxious and i nobly volunteered to let sugarfoot into the front room and stay up with her for a bit. instead of, you know, sleeping. so my wife could get some sleep. because she was talking about her stress level redlining and scaring the shit outta me. (love ya, babe, i get it, i really do <3 )
the cats have seemingly settled and all i want to do is go back and curl up with peg but i already know the moment i set foot in there i'll wake them up and all three of them will bum-rush the bedroom
also i can't fucking deal with fucking pseudo-woke leftists today but that actually puts them way ahead of Trump voters because i DO want to deal with them, with bricks and baseball bats, applied repeatedly to the rectocranial junction with great and just force.
current mood, ph (-), implicit poo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-jYJCupgUg
but i mean, it's my fault -- it's basically two days of deep dish pizza catching up with me
re: the long version of how I fell asleep while *running* a game; WtA Tokyo Drift
@Leucrotta It... yeah. I have very long and detailed opinions about Torg. Incredibly ambitious game with inspired, fun mechanics and a very clever attempt at making a player-influenced metagame out of the grand campaign... but the splatbooks tended to be godawful and in some cases (like the "Nippon Tech" sourcebook) arguably pretty racist at worst, utterly uninformed at best -__-
and then once they had a good thing going, they completely poochscrewed the entire game balance with the bizarre space gods and incredibly edgy-bland tharkold sourcebooks, with weapons so powerful that nobody would ever want to be from anywhere else again. munchkin dreams come true. rubbish. still bitter.
re: the long version of how I fell asleep while *running* a game; WtA Tokyo Drift
@Leucrotta I don't have nearly as good of a story, but one of my gaming buddies did fall asleep during a ttrpg session (as a player), woke up just long enough to quite clearly say "Commas come before cops," then went right back to sleep.
We were playing Torg. There were no cops involved, and probably no commas either.
@Austin_Dern ours dont even live here
oh god can you please explain to them that they dont live here D;
dont make them leave or anything, just make it clear that we'd like to see some rent or something
kitten "update" (+ for us and them, mild - for you)
they are adorable as fuck still, there's just more of them and they're slightly calmer
but i'm still too fucking tired* to get good pics of them, sorry! more soon
(*there were... litterbox issues. they were not the cats' fault. that's all i'm gonna say and if you want more information talk to my goddamn cat lawyer** :) )
(**it's artie. good luck to you. she's the best in the business.)
@Austin_Dern also we only have eight cats so our lives are only 80% of this
which is a lot
oh sweet bast it's a lot D:
@Austin_Dern The No-Go Zone part is definitely correct. The Cat Mob rules the territory formerly known as Homeofficetown and nobody gets through without their permission.
@hystericempress sis, no, PLEASE use this place to process this stuff. i WANT to know what's going on with you. *hughughug*
film, snark, news
I'm not annoyed enough to boycott Christopher Nolan... but from now on, I'm pirating all his movies and watching them in a 100 x 100 box on my laptop. Hell, maybe I'll crop 'em for good measure.
[ObWhatTheFuckHappened: Christopher Nolan has been savaging HBO Max because he has issues with streaming services "replacing" cinema. Nolan has been rather a fuckwit about trying to drag people to theaters during COVID to Experience His Art Correctly.]
@JulieSqveakaroo This looks entertaining, but what it really does is make me want to watch Grendel Grendel Grendel again... or figure out a way to rip our DVD of it so we can share it...
@Leucrotta i hold you entirely responsible for the fact my stoned brain is now singing "shelob, helob a-welob, ilob youlob a-theylob" at me <3
hades, der katzens (~), cute but not very exciting, the international life of mystery our cats don't know they're leading
big demeter vibes from shadow tbh
big artemis vibes from cj/feauxbeau, not artie herself, paradoxically enough.
artie reminds me more of megeara. i almost expect her to sweatdrop, call me baka, and run away when i pet her.
shemp reminds me most of sisyphus. he good shemp fine luv u hav lik lik lik. and the jingly man is his bouldy.
sugarfoot is like aphrodite: turns on a dime >_________<
i think peebs is our dusa. she's just so happy to be of service ^________^
and olivia and snowy are gonna grow up to be asterius and theseus i just know it
re: der katzens (~), cute but not very exciting, the international life of mystery our cats don't know they're leading
oh and peebles is still long for pb which is still short for purrbox <3
🔥💫🐯(火星虎)
ɪɴᴄᴇɴᴅɪᴀʀʏ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ ᴄᴀᴛʙᴇᴀsᴛ ʀᴇᴢᴇʏᴀ
read this, pitiful humans:
http://egypt.urnash.com/parallax/