Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

OTOH, I had an obscene brisket sandwich from a gourmet butcher shop this morning, got to meet their legally mandatory Mooch Cat named Porkchop (according to the four people who said "Hey, Porkchop" while passing by), and brought home a chocolate cheesecake made with local Creole-style cream cheese (which is its own special thing and apparently a dying art).

Also Deltarune continues to be a great source of perverted comfort and I expect to continue seeing great things out of werewires and Noelle's robot face.

Stepdad is back in the hospital for his heart. It sounds like it's not *that* bad so far. He had some chest pain, they got him checked out, and one of his blood gas levels was off.

My poor parents have been waiting in the ER since 8 am. They just want to transfer him to a better hospital 20 minutes away, in case they need to catheterize him, but they have to wait for a room first. I HATE knowing that it's probably because of covidiots.

Meanwhile... well, I was probably going to spend the day sitting around low-energy and stunned already and this just clinches it. I can't bring myself to feel like anything I do is going to matter. Can't bring myself to care.

I dunno.

@Austin_Dern That's a crappy way to let someone go. I'm so sorry. *hug*

@arilin It's not just you, I kinda had the same experience. I do the same thing with music, and not on purpose: I tend to get on board right after something stops being trendy.

@Leucrotta I'm gonna come right out and say it, it sounds like one of your father's biggest goddamn failures is NOT even being able to be a cheerleader for the people who needed him to be one, so he can basically go fuck himself. >___<

@001zlnv Plus, I mean, they're six VERY different cats and I would have to put skill points in SIX different cat weapon types.

I'm pretty sure Shemp is a shoulder-mounted siege weapon, for instance, whereas Peebles is a fully automatic short-range purrbox. Totally different skills.

(Ceejay is a landmine. *giggle*)

@001zlnv Can't, Bill Hader and Andy Samberg are notoriously sue-happy about Laser Cats*. >:(

*complete lie

One really nice thing about this stage of my life: when I see someone interesting, my first impulse isn't "OH MY GOD HOW DO I GET THIS PERSON TO LIKE ME? OH GOD, THEY'D PROBABLY HATE ME."

It's totally OK that there are people who look very interesting and I will never get to meet and never need to impress. This took a long time to get to.

I've largely kicked the esteem habit. Four out of six cats and one out of one dragons LOVE me. What more could I ask for?

It also helps that the urge was partly fueled by a desperate longing to find anyone who shared my kinks or my weird outlook on the world so I could feel less LONELY.

And I don't feel lonely. I have you folks here every day, mostly just being chill and letting me be a big fiesty tiger who's *probably* never even gonna get around eating anyone here.🐯​❤️​

So I can go out there to Birdsite and see some adorable pervert with electrodes in their sona's skull, or whatever, someone I would have NEEDED TO KNOW IMMEDIATELY back in 2005, and just go, "Huh. Neat kid. Glad to see the next generation. Good luck out there," and genuinely mean it and NOT FEEL THE NEED TO SLIDE INTO THEIR LIVES.

No more FOMO. It's awesome. My gunslinging days are over, nobody remembers my name, my revolvers are up on the wall, and they'll come down someday when I'm good and ready. It's... it's kinda NICE to be old and tired. :)

@LexYeen This is why I went ace. We're like F-117 stealth queers. Totally invisible.

@anthracite

Jesus, Peg, normally I'd say there are no stupid questions, but...

HINT: 🦊​

I leave the rest as an exercise for the clever student.

@hi_cial @anthracite Luckily this is New Orleans so basically nobody here gives a shit, in the best possible way, especially here in artsy Mid-City. ^___^ This is probably a very low-key place to transition as such things go!

Kincaid is stirring. As I put it recently to a dear friend, she's strapped down to the laboratory bed, the ceiling is wide open, the storm is brewing... all we need is a bolt of lightning.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. The Celexa has wrecked the libido which used to be Kincaid's main psychic fuel. I still have a lot of lingering guilt around D/s stuff after the Seattle blowup. I'm not sure I'm ready _prepared_ to take on a ringleader persona again.

But there she is. I can't pretend that ain't her bubbling up through the cracks and out of the plumbing in crazy dayglo colors. And I think we might in fact still need her. So many people are DOING the things Kincaid was about and, expired lavavixen warranty be damned, I want me and my friends back in.

@Phorm

[SUSIE:] Hey. HEY. You okay there stupid?

[NOELLE:] (half-asleep) Huh, wuzzat? Yeah, m'okay... Kritdzs maymee cas' Eggnog (Self) x 3 s'all. Yanno, yer bootiful. Haffy Crimmizz. *shoulder-slumps amid a poof of red and green glittermotes that leave Susie with a little Santa cap* @_@

@Phorm Currently my brain is trying to wrangle a fixfic scenario to route around the damage: before Kris can get anywhere near the Thorn Ring, someone dressed like an elf sells him the Wreath Ring-- which turns her into the Christmas goddess she always wanted to be. It still trances her, but all she can do is give her "enemies" mugs of steaming cocoa, build snowmen, and rain tinsel down on people. Kris becomes a Lvl 2 Loving Hypnodom and Miss Holiday is very confused but just can't stop smiling.

The twist of this Nabokov story gives me similar fascinated-squick vibes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vane_Sisters

(Cynical thought: I need to figure out a way to stick these emotions in a bottle and uncork them when it's time to write Chapter Two of Parallax. I already had a hoofer who needed some top-flight traumatizing for plot reasons. :| And Kirt and Noa's story is gonna come distressingly close to the same themes as Noelle@Deltarune's as they get drawn into Mixolyne psi politics...)

Current mood: haunted by Noelle Holiday's plot line in Deltarune: Chapter 2.

I'm not even an Undertale fan, but the just-revealed "Snowgrave" genocide route hits home pretty hard.

Spoilers: basically the painfully kind and meek reindeer character is manipulated into becoming a murderous, psychologically abused, tranced-out ice mage by your PC and a series of cursed rings.

It's so closely kink-adjacent for me. The idea of a hypnotized, empowered minion as a conduit for someone's will is HOT. But god, not in that form and not poor Noelle.

So much of my hypnosis/mind control kink comes from a deep, deep separation anxiety I had when I was a preteen. I'd have nightmare after nightmare about various Forces possessing my friends and family and making them emotionally unavailable.

But honestly? Like so many of my nightmares, they were kinda fun-scary. And like with so many scary ideas, they got transmuted into kink. And there's still that edge of horror to them.

And seeing Noelle suffer-- especially 'cause my oldest and dearest headfriend is ALSO a Neutral Good pokey hoofer named Noelle-- is gumming up my emotional works today in a fascinatingly complicated way. I can't look away from it.

@aearo @anthracite Yeah, but she had the two *clever* ones in sight, that's the important thing!

Of the remaining four, Shemp is very low mana for a cat, Ceejay refuses to set foot in the house by any means astral or otherwise, Peebles is a tortie and thus NOT a subtle girl*,**, and Sugarfoot is... um...

OK, three cats MAXIMUM.

#F117StealthKitty

* MRAP.
** MRAP!

@Austin_Dern Mine just reads "Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat." Inherited it from my grandfather. Wanna see? =^____^=

#TheTagIsATrap
#KindOfStupidThatWay

@Austin_Dern @001zlnv Wawas will be the next-to-last bastion of civilization to fall. And when Waffle House goes, all is lost.