Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Oh here we go. I feel like a fool for not going straight to East Africa first.

Looks like the best claimant is Waaqa, sky god of the Oromo people. https://procaffeination.com/who-is-the-god-of-coffee-procaffeination-lists-the-top-contenders/

And here, it's Double Deities Thursday so have a bonus Mayan cocoa god free of charge. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ek_Chuaj

@Aradia Introduced somewhere around 1700, evidently, but that certainly wouldn't preclude Inari from taking a hand in it once it showed up! That does raise intriguing questions about what they (I LOVE that "they" seems to be the most appropriate pronoun for them ❤️🦊) would have been up to in the early Tokugawa... 🤔

(Bea? Val?)

@Aradia Oh that is indeed a very good one. When did coffee reach Japan exactly? Pretty early I would imagine...

Dammit sis I did NOT need another four-hour wikicrawl in my life, I...

Hmm, you know, maybe I did. Thank you, dear. 😽

Which god(s) would be in charge of caffeine and caffeination?

Asking for a friend.

I'm thinking Hermes or Dionysius maybe? Or maybe Nyx... 🤔

i received only a supermarket fruit pie

clearly she cares nothing about my wellbeing

please contact tiger protective services

(actually hubig's pies are pretty good so i just might pull thru after all😺 )

@anthracite I think I want to work the sentence "They tried to enjoy their vacation, but were troubled by dreams, visions, and a burning desire to wash hands and faces" (or at least an homage) into the NPOL script somewhere 😼

@anthracite this'un https://web.archive.org/web/20100105034810/https://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75wdeath.phtml

@anthracite not sure how to include kerri in the reply but the real reason is that it was a reference to a very obscure SNL sketch that had become a running joke between tris and me *shrug*

but the in-world reason i guess is that they're an ultra-modernist Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communist society that eats polyhedra flavored with numbered ester compounds or some shit

@kika a friend linked us to this on a postfurry-adjacent/drone-friendly discord and while i adore the art what really made me smile was the cow tools reference 😽

RIP, he was such a great inspiration 😿

(wait who died? ok no that's fantastic)

@eredien @Leucrotta @anthracite We are both notoriously cagey about birthday stuff so it's an easy mistake to make. :)

@Leucrotta Peg's actually! (Sort of. Long story.) Mine's July 3rd.

@eredien I think you might be thinking of Peg! Mine's July 3rd. Start saving now. ;) ;) ;) <3

Not much to say lately but this song is a fuckin treasure and I wanted to share it.

(If you've seen Poker Face, and you really should, you might recognize it from "Time of the Monkey.")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlOT_gSRE48

@LexYeen I would be so down for that someday. 😽

@LexYeen "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when Elon Musk falls down a hole of his own making and dies." 😽

@KinkyTurtle most of these are about killing *a* god, not *the* god, but this is basically the page you want :) https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KillTheGod

@Leucrotta or maybe a "Rusty Venture"

@Leucrotta "squat cobbler"