Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

"the 'just trolling' <-> orwellian duckspeak spectrum"

@tabbydragon @anthracite Done!

@xinjinmeng Three words: "Bigby's Grasping Hand."

@monsterblue I mean, I've got a magical lizard woman like maybe 50 feet away. And she has a guitar. This will not be a challenge.

@spottyfox

CEO: From... oranges?

*standing ovation*

@Owlor "CRAP. I was narrating out loud again." -- The Maxx

@monsterblue "Playable Lizard" is my new band name.

@chimerror I'm pretty sure Orange Stake is illegal under the Geneva Conventions and I do intend to seek legal counsel, if you'd like to join me at The Hague. >_<

@stablehorde_generator@sigmoid.social

draw for me: the concept of "dignity" as a simple felt-tipped marker drawing

😇

@spottyfox

@spottyfox One of our nicknames for our cats in general is "pooter," so one night @anthracite and I came up with an old-school coin-op game called "Pooter Booter," which is about putting ornery cats out for the night.

So then we created its whole rich history, including its many sequels:

Pooter Scooter (xtreme stunt cats)

Pooter Looter (cat burglars)

Pooter Commuter (cat light-rail sim)

Pooter Muter (applying brass horn mutes to noisy cat mouths)

Pooter Computer (ill-advised spreadsheet)

Huh. That's new.

@spottyfox Lemon-Lime Soda: Because If We Called It Citric Acid Soda You'd Never Buy It! (TM)

Now see what happens if you mix lemon soda with lime soda.

@Cerulean Oh cripes, though, now that you mention it... I love the idea of a show that teaches kids math by presenting its own simple card game and centering the show's "action" around finding solutions to kid-level but brain-twisty puzzles...

But not only would this show have zero commercial potential in our reality, it still shouldn't be Balatro. "Ambiguously creepy alien video poker machine" is all I want and all it needs to be.

@chimerror ohhhh, i think you're right, thank you!

@Cerulean Does this mean we're never gonna get a Balatro cartoon? :'(

Maybe it's time for me to write some fanfic, put it in a world where the game's got Yugi-Oh properties. "Yorick! Activate!"

Yeah, though, I really am enjoying the fact that instead of "plot" or "worldbuilding" (or a half-assed template-fantasy attempt at them), Balatro has ATMOSPHERE. I feel like there are vague hints at a malign ghost inside the machine; I'm pleased it seems disinterested in feeding us any details.

@chimerror i think you mean the gold seal and I *think* that might actually be different! there's a mention in the achievements about getting gold stickers on *jokers* -- it might even be the same gold seal, maybe there's a way to start getting them on jokers instead of deck cards?

cripes this friggin game and its SYSTEMS, just paralyze every person on the spectrum for the next year why dontcha :D

@chimerror yeah i was today years old when that finally dawned on me :)

@chimerror I think my record so far is 100k but there's SO MUCH MORE STUFF HIDDEN so I figure some of it's bound to multiply yields

e.g. i figured out what the blank voucher does but i won't spoil it -- just keep at it, it will pay off eventually

@KinkyTurtle @anthracite Hey, if that's the ONLY thing this weird-ass comic achieves, it's a success. :D

I LOVE LOVE LOVE how much everybody hates the clowns immediately on first sight. >:D