Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Leucrotta And I can virtually guarantee you they've had the EXACT SAME THOUGHT about someone else. And there's probably some young artist out there thinking the same thing about you. n.n (The tragedy of course is that in 99% of these cases, we never ever know...)

@hummingrain I mean, I tried to read Ulysses once. Got about 40 pages in. If I saw James Joyce stabbed at the side of the road, I'd probably go looking around for whose hand to shake. :p

Today was... weird, one of those days I just spent stuck in useless, formless anxiety. The eye floaties were definitely a part of it, though they haven't really gotten any worse, and... I dunno.

There was that, and a payroll error at work that's STILL not resolved, and another round of minor complications getting insurance worked out... and I just sat around all day napping and accomplishing nothing at all. Except for eating butter chicken and ramen. In the same bowl.

OTOH Peg is back now and that alone reduces my stress level by like 75%. ^_^ Finally rolling on work, got a nice easy evaluation of a nice terrible coworker whose errors are all conveniently obvious and huge. ;>

@LexYeen@snouts.online from each according to their imagination, to each according to their boredom! <3

@zx3 Oh man, I had a bout of that after they repaired our kitchen and left plaster dust all about. Not fun, do take care of yourself and feel better soon!

Doing a lot better today, thank you all again. Even not considering the anxiety, it was nice to actually get to *talk* with you in general. <3

Got the documents I need to finish my health insurance app, no new retina weirdness, and last night's butter chicken curry came out pretty good. :)

Naturally, though, some new things had to go wrong, so the payroll "correction" they had to do to fix a timeclock glitch still came out about 10 hours short. >_< On tenterhooks waiting for boss creature to reply.

Also, some little shit from the Ukraine tried to buy a bunch of F2P gems with my Apple ID. I think I've fended him off and done all the necessary security fixes—such as changing my password to a paragraph-long rant about how much trust I've lost in Apple—but it still leaves me all twitchy and paranoid.

Still. Dragon went rawr, tiger went rawr back, there is food in the fridge, all is well enough.

@Austin_Dern agreed on all counts-- you and i, of all people, can probably come up with far cooler stuff to compare notes on-- like how many hot-swappable heads is too many, for a procyonid of class and distinction...

For some of us old farts... today is September 9396, 1993.

http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/S/September-that-never-ended.html

I remember a day when the supposed absolute nadir of the Internet was a guy ranting about plutonium atoms. Good ol' Ludwig comes off like a saint compared to the Pepes.

http://wiki.devicerandom.org/Archimedes_Plutonium

"AmeRiCa iS ThE wORlD's oNLy TrUE mErIToCrAcY!"

@Oneironott Take it from a 20-year stoner veteran: TAKE YOUR TOLERANCE BREAKS, and if you ever find you're no longer dreaming in any memorable detail, TAKE A LONGER TOLERANCE BREAK. It really is quite extraordinarily possible to overdo it and break down your endocannabinoid system.

If you start feeling flat, losing effects of weed you really liked, or finding you're in a terrible mood even when you're stoned, you probably need a good solid break, I'd recommend 7-10 days every 3 months at the LEAST.

Luckily, as withdrawals go, it ain't bad. I've been off for about three weeks now, and so far it's about as bad as going off caffeine. Grumpifying but dealable.

I'm sorry you had to die, tiny tiny bug. You bore an astonishing resemblance to a Scary Retinal Speck, and I had to know for sure which side of my sclera you were on. I honestly didn't expect I'd actually CATCH you.

You died to assuage a human's fear, one that might even be totally unfounded. I can't help feeling there might be a metaphor or something here, but as an ostensible cat, I refuse to contemplate it. Serious regret is reserved for creatures larger than a freckle, sorry.

@kistaro Aw, it's okay, I really appreciate that you still said something. You've all been a tremendous help and on top of everything else, it's really helped roll back my cynicism that Social Media Is Just So Dead To Me. <3

Waugh!

That's... about the sum total of my anxiety now. I wanna go "waugh."

That's a hell of an improvement over earlier.

Eye fear, mostly subsided for now. Insurance is in process, and as long as nothing starts peeling that shouldn't peel, I'm OK. Self-hate, largely gone.

Thank you all so much for helping out. I just needed my optimism/pessimism meter reset, yanno? I hope I can, have, and do provide similar services for you all as needed. <3

@Phorm Yeah, me too. I do actually have some hope to share on that topic-- basically, that this could be a neurologically, or even mathematically, solvable problem in the grand scheme of things-- but that'll probably have to be for a day when I'm less... dim.

@hummingrain You're pretty cute, hugs def accepted. :D <3

@Xinjinmeng@mastodon.social "Well, if you wanted to make Rezeya the Devourer cry, mission accomplished!" 😾​😽​

(But they're good tears, for good advice. <3 I was a real dismissive pain in the ass to you in another incarnation, in the feverish pursuit of an experience I still can't even understand or describe, and I've spent a non-zero amount of time sweating it over the years...)

@LeDiva Damn straight! I still need to get that T-shirt made...

@JulieSqveakaroo Thank you, honey. You have been one of my perennials, can't even remember at this point how we ran into each other, and it means a lot to me. I know you have a lot of the same social anxieties I have, and the fact you're apparently not terrified of me is probably evidence I ain't THAT scary of a homicidal psycho jungle cat. n.n;

Weird new stuff, but after hours of worry, I think it's probably just the weird old stuff setting up shop a bit close to my actual lens. It just looks like a big grey piece of film now and then, which is creepy as fuck, but it behaves like a regular floater, so I think it's just really close up?

Anyhow, guess what I discovered? Eye floaters are both a really common trigger *and* (somewhat disputedly) a really common *symptom* of anxiety! Yay! Who the fuck built us!? ^_______^;

Respectively: today's mood, target mood, optimal mood

#bravestwarriors #holojohn #butterlettuce