Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Leucrotta Actually I was thinking "huh, I could stand to see Captain Blood again and see how it's aged"...

@arilin There's just something so _comforting_ about musty old word books.

If you're interested in expanding your collection, I highly recommend The Synonym Finder. Best thesaurus I've ever had.

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-synonym-finder_ji-rodale/246312/

@mawr am ​ but felt was my birthright to have whatever dogs have 🤷​

@mawr

[​] *peers up distractedly from their workbench, where they are industriously mailing expired crawfish stuffed with rusty threepenny nails to the president*

"Huh? What? Hmmph."

*shrugs and returns to wrapping each little package in a used, frothy napkin*

@kistaro @OCRbot@fedi.lynnesbian.space

And then you have Chef Boyardee's offering, "lasagna adjacent to protein."

Or for the Homestar Runner fans out there: "Lasagna b/w Meat."

hurt mean people / break things / make scary noises / befriend monsters / get bellyrubs / eat everything / knock stuff off shelves / be endangered / die fat and happy

@mawr But... but... its home planet needed it! Now who will save them from Lord Plumbor?

still pondering the notion of suicide by cheesecake and hot wings tbh

i'm kidding but i'm not, you know? if it weren't for my parents and my stupid sexy dragon keeping me obliged to stick around...

i'm just so fucking bored and done with everyone's bullshit

Of fucking COURSE you're a LaVeyan Satanist. It was the only remaining personality trait that could have possibly made you more smug and annoying. Your identity jigsaw is now a fully assembled panorama of banal cliches.

@chimerror I have been known to refer to "taking one of those shits that has its own Act and Scene structure..."

@zx3 @Soreth @anthracite Laugh while you can, robot boy!

@Soreth @anthracite Well, don't tell us! We already know all these things! You've got to tell the world's great intellectuals and scholars, by which I mean, the Critical Shower Thoughts subreddit!

@Soreth @anthracite It's 2020. You can claim ANYTHING WHATSOEVER. There is absolutely no remaining cultural mediating force whatsoever that can stop you.

Nothing makes me sadder these days than 2 dozen+ leftists on a Twitter thread totally failing to tell when someone was being sarcastic.

("Yeah, but Obama didn't write me no $1200 check!" From someone whose timeline was littered with BLM and socialist memes--but that would have taken at LEAST 15 seconds of research to discover! It's 2020, who's got time for that shit? Not when you can get that dopamine rush from telling them off RIGHT NOW.)

Bless their hearts, Poe's Law isn't real, they just let the batteries in their joke detectors run out years ago. *sigh*

@xinjinmeng @anthracite Closest I could find is "Schlimmbesserung" ("improvement" that actually makes something worse) but that doesn't quite cut it...

@mawr Rockin' that neo-animist lifestyle! *high-five*

I mean, you've seen me referring to Peg's Tarot editions as "my stepdaughters Dawn Jr. and Dawn Sr...."

[​​] "Rez, what is best in life?"

[🐯] "Looking up the conservative troll du jour on Facebook, tracking him down to his family art gallery, discovering he inherited everything from his rich artist uncle, finding out he has a history of suing his own family, coming across an article about his arrest on felony theft charges, and dragging it all in front of him in the midst of a public debate."

[​] "..."

[​] "Cat, I knew I liked you for a reason!"

@Austin_Dern Honey... it's 2020. There are no more standards for why anything happens. You're lucky it wasn't a rain of walruses or a parade of cybernetic Scottish clansmen or a 40' Charles Nelson Reilly something.

I never thought I of all people would say this, but I miss baseline reality. =(;)__(;)=

@JulieSqveakaroo *cries*

It's tears of joy. No really. We really missed having six mewling mooch machines besieging every exit from our apartment. x_x

(Actually, I'm kinda looking forward to meeting them... and to the new season of playing Cat Fishing Derby out the studio window. We're gonna have to replace our main cat-luring toy, though, since Shemp broke the Jingly Man's stick in a fit of obsessive romantic passion. Shemp + Jingly Man = OTP :D )