Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

big seattle mood here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa1Au5Y0h6s

whaddaya think, folks -- r34 betting pool on flingora here? 😼​

(as for the show itself, it just dropped on netflix -- i was kinda glad i stuck with it. the schtick isn't going to work for everybody, but there is at least a schtick and it goes to some surprisingly mature places)

So I just had the most bizarre realization.

For decades, I had been walking around with the notion in the back of my mind that my 2nd-uncle-or-something Joey was gay.

This was not a strongly held impression. I barely even knew Joey when I lived in Ohio. I think I've thought about him literally 3-5 times in the last two decades. But if you'd asked me, "Quick, was Joey gay?" I'd have said yes.

But now that I've puzzled out the math, I realized I would have been all of four years old when I last saw him. And somewhere in my four-year-old mind, I think I got Joey confused with Jack Tripper from Three's Company.

And that's the pisser: JACK TRIPPER WASN'T EVEN GAY. THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THE SHOW.

And that's why I don't trust human brains.

"the twink > twank > twonk pipeline"

THE RULES OF FAN THEORY:

1) All creators are omniscient about anything related to their work.

2) The showrunner oversees all production personally, even props & background art.

3) A director will always choose "paying off" an easter egg over drama, characterization, or realism.

4) Every single aspect of a show is meticulously planned and wholly deliberate.

5) Making shows is easy & inexpensive. Nobody ever does something just because it's simpler or cheaper.

6) Characters exist and act independently even when not on screen.

7) All media symbolism operates on a strict 1:1 ratio. Each symbol signifies precisely one thing, which is consciously chosen by the creator and can be correctly and finally determined by a close examination of the "clues."

8) Nothing is ever random. Creators never script anything, ever, unless they are absolutely certain of its full thematic and plot significance.

9) It's all about you.

Welp, got banned GOOD AND HARD from Reddit. Every account.

My offense: telling someone in DMs that they were "unlovable and unfuckable" after they doubled down on abusing someone and calling them "another moron"... because they did not know how to make Zalgo text.🙄​

My only worry was that Peg would lose her accounts too from being on the same IP... but yeah, not only does that now seem unlikely, apparently she doesn't really give a fuck either. It's fuckin' Reddit.

Really, this feels liberating more than anything else. Reddit was a huge sticky time sink, one of those places you waste multiple thousands of hours on but gain nothing. The whole site seems designed to prevent you ever making a single friend or acquaintance from it. It's like Usenet with a nanny.

I only showed up there in pursuit of a right-wing troll, honestly, way back when. Talk about mission creep. I'm glad I have a barrier that will keep me from ever going back.

o/` all i wanna do is break chuds for you o/`

badly overcaffeinated

about to go death blossom in an explosive rain of stripes and sparkles

i need a tiger toy FAST please help <3

you know i wouldn't say *no* to a pumpkin full of raw hamburger

no really good targets in nola though, hope liem doesn't mind a car trip out to trump country

our manes all blowin in the wind

pair of pricey italian shades i bought him, perched on his snoot

big gulp of human blood from the 7-11 in covington in the beverage tray

finna go down to the audubon zoo, get my buddy liem a day pass, and go wreck some shop, no survivors no witnesses

he's finally, mathematically inevitably, gotten around to "simple twist of fate."

he is the first in a LONG TIME to prove himself even the least worthy

well played, child

(REFERENCE CAPTION: The above song was used in a legendary sequence from Breaking Bad where about a dozen prisoners were murdered in the course of several minutes as a precautionary measure. Any implication of future rhetorical violence towards conservatives is fully intended. 🐯​)

*That* scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgXJD2sdHyM [CW: extreme violence]

oh looky

i've been banned from reddit for telling an asshole he's an asshole again

i am just devastated, it's next to impossible to get a new account started there these days

*yawns and activates next clone*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20ViFpURIDk

OH MY GOD NEVER MIND I TAKE EVERY OUNCE OF SNARK BACK

WE ARE IN A CAFE NAMED "MONKEY MONKEY" AND HE KEEPS SNEAKING THE WORD "MONKEY" INTO DYLAN LYRICS

BUDDY, YOU GOT A VENMO? <3

Wow, buddy, you're... you're just gonna do nothing but Neil Young and Bob Dylan. Huh. That is a bold choice for a man with your cranial and facial hair choices.

You're damn lucky you've got a fine voice and some real guitar skills. You have my grudging approval and I kinda wish I had any cash whatsoever to tip you with. Well played, youngling.

You knew I can't resist Heart of Gold, didn't you, you sneaky SOB.

strewth.

increasingly i'm coming to feel the same way about my species being possibly doomed that a tourist might feel about knowing the theme park they're visiting is slated to shut down in 10 years

as in i don't really know if i give a fuck, if other people are so determined to see it go -- it would be a pity and i'd gladly pitch in $100 to a Keep The Park Going fund, but i'll be long gone and wasn't really planning on ever coming back anyway

it's still galling, it's still a waste, i still want other people to enjoy this neat park and i still really hope it can be averted -- it just doesn't really HURT

because what the fuck is point of letting it, still gonna ride coasters and eat corndogs today -- and maybe discreetly murder any representatives of the demolition crew i see doing inspections

one of those nights where i start wondering if most of the work i have left on earth would not be best accomplished with an aluminum baseball bat, a set of burglar tools, and a left-leaning doxx site

that icarly meme where the kid brings home an ostrich but he's also got a smoothie so when they say "hey whatcha got there" he says he's got a smoothie, except instead of a smoothie he's got a tiger but he also still has an ostrich so when they ask him he says "tiger" and then the tiger eats them all and then eats the ostrich and then it's just three sitcom cameras switching back and forth between scenes of the same unearthly silent room full of feathers and uneaten Disney teen scraps until the credits roll