Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

#drawings from Wednesday, anthro orcas, and DnD “scarecrows” that became part of (worksafe) autumn themed pinup art. I was trying to be Larry Elmore here.

Checking around from morbid curiosity;

2021 Jeff Bezos’ income was 1,681,840

2021 GDP for some minor third world nowheres;
Australia; 1,542,660
Brazil; 1,608,981
Canada; 1,990,761
France; 2,937,472

I’ve been realizing today that, if “nobody actually wants to make mistakes” can make me feel terrible on its own, and made me vulnerable to/assume “some angry adult is about to tell me how fucking stupid and worthless I am, possibly at top volume several inches from my face,”

Someone watching me like a hawk, jumping on my mistakes, and their choice of “you need to” phrasing, is *of itself* uncomfortable even if the expected harangue about my stupidity isn’t intended and therefore never arrives.

I mean why throw money at actual not wonderfully well off humans with dreams and bills, when you could instead throw money at some big company and their neo-feudal barons like everything else in this rotten society?

Today so far has really felt like living in someone else’s desires.

This is going to sound weird, but I actually think working from home meant I exercised better, possibly ate better, and possibly saved more money on coffee shops (having them closed much of that time means it's hard to compare to "I want a place to sit out the worst traffic/I want to do something before I go home and round out the day").

The odd thought I may be demanding too much out of my drawings.

A building is torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that was true of everything - families, friends, feelings. But now I know, if two people own enough eyeliner and Bauhaus albums, nothing can keep them apart.

Sometimes it rains inside my head
till the words run dry
walls are breathing, hands are reaching up
to touch my thighs
no they don't have to take you away
no they don't have to take you away

okay, it's National Crow Quoting Month! The month of being COMPLETELY OBNOXIOUS quoting a movie which, to be fair, wasn't quite as good as we make it out to be!

"Whatcha all painted up for, crackhead? Halloween ain't till manana!"

oh YEAH it's my favorite pagan group! To connect better with our pre-Christian roots they usually sing in Gothic, which *they* don't speak either! Lately they've branched out into Tatar Tele!

rent and bills paid, called landlords to check in about a note they left on my door. I think any plans for tonight's dinner have now become pelmenii and whatever pickles I have in the 'fridge.

what I want to say is not a fitting sentiment for the Days of Awe, so let's not send it out into the void right now, even if it's understandable. A far more appropriate sentiment is "I feel my ability to survive or even thrive has been really compromised, and I would like those people who have compromised it to honor me more as a person sharing their world.

Today’s just sucked on toast. Gonna get a really froo froo latte and draw some. Maybe post lewds later too. Do y’all like (properly CWed/restricted) dick pics?

Guess what, I didn’t get to be done with phones, today.

Within 30 seconds on the phone with this customer I’d successfully established myself as the Antichrist. I think I was on the phone with them for 7 minutes. The last person I dealt with so sure I was intentionally trying to fuck up was my mother.

This morning was the sort of customer who complains bitterly to the natural history museum that THEY extincted the dinosaurs and need to fix it. And complains at the gift shop.

So done with phones today.

Recently reacquired Dragon issue 122 from my parents’ house. Biiig central foldout ad of Citadel miniatures! That thing was completely magic to kid me… who am I kidding? It’s magical *now*.

At least 3 times Dune got reinterpreted;
* George Lucas saw a desert where harvesting water was all important and went, hey this is basically Modesto.
* Games Workshop designers saw elite soldiers putting spiritual faith in their Emperor and weird mutant navigators in a place where it rains constantly.
* Alejandro Jodorowski went “space emperors, nuns and warrior codes are cool, but this is kind of bland and there’s not enough sex or blood.”

telling myself that it's okay to want a vacation of some sort just because I've been working pretty continuously for a while - or just because it's okay to want time off and travel. Just because it's not practicable doesn't mean it's not okay.

It's pretty easy to run into my issues, but they exist to distract/explain/predict on top of stuff which by itself is no fun.

At my last job, an expectation of constant overwork, low pay, and occasionally being yelled at for not perfectly interpreting things I hadn't been told by folks in the next state over were crap. They would've been crap if I'd come out of a supportive background.

The bad news today is that while my current job is far easier, it's still work, and I honestly just think I need a break of some sort (I was between jobs for only three weeks of really active job hunting, so there was little no down time there).