Self Doubt, Gaslighting, Memory [3/3]
I've been in a handful of really emotionally abusive relationships over the course of my life, and in most of them, I've been gaslit pretty badly. I'm very susceptible to gaslighting because of my awful memory... and I have a theory that the gaslighting I've been subjected to has caused me not to trust what I _do_ remember.
I don't know what to do about this. I've been through brain function tests with no memory anomalies... could it just be psychosomatic?!
Self Doubt, Memory [2/3]
I've always had a bad memory for recalling things on my own. I forget names of people I see and talk to every day; I forget words -- and not weird words like antidisestablishmentarianism or cantankerous, but really basic words like fire or bread.
I can't remember major life events until someone can remind me of their contents; then they start coming back.
I'm so frequently embarrassed by my memory that I'll often pretend to remember things I don't. >..<
Self Doubt, Memory [1/2]
Tonight I watched an actor I adore and have seen many times before in a film I didn't expect to see him in. I remember looking at him and thinking he looked familiar... but I didn't get that it was him until the credits rolled.
...I think I might have some form of face blindness? 'cause this happens a LOT to me, even with people I know well. I always feel awful about it.
This opened me up to thinking about my memory and how terrible it is; something I think about a lot.
I rode my electric motorcycle home and oh my goodness I forgot how wonderful it is to ride a through a city late at night!!
The roads are practically yours, all the lights are either green or quickly turn green just for you; the breeze is cool and calming...
Seeing the Seattle skyline appear from behind the crest of a hill, only to ride right through it and bank west off of a long easy curve onto another highway, leaning off the bike into the wind...
It's as close to flying as I've ever felt.
I went out and saw Spiderman with @kelseyhusky, @Aradia@mastodon.social, @Trouffee@mastodon.social, @Soreth and @Doephin! I really really liked it, even though the embaressing comedy was bad enough that I almost slid out of my chair and literally hid behind my hat for a few minutes during a scene (I really can't stand cringe humor).
Even with that, I give it an 8/10. Solid, solid film all the way through. :D
This is AMAZING and also really amusing on at least 5 levels :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kIsEzEmI9w
"ANIME FIDGET SPINNERS" [3:51]
(An anime parody centered around fidget spinners)
@Elanna Yay you're here!! :D
"Be Prepared: Experts Warn That This Polyamorous Relationship Could Expand To Cover All Of Seattle By 2021"
http://www.clickhole.com/article/be-prepared-experts-warn-polyamorous-relationship--6226
Dragony plush thing! Friendly, non-binary, anarcho-syndicalist, ace.
Check out @mawr for my public account.