status update, vent, brainglitch
Still no date set on transplant. New medications for sibling to try, requiring a few days of hospital stay just in case. More waiting.
I don't know when this will end.
And even if/when it does, it feels like there'll be just...more hurt awaiting. Any thoughts of making plans in my head get cut off by screaming of the more likely scenario of their failure.
Five of Cups, but there's no bridge, no way past; the horizon is blotted out.
odds of BM happening at 15%.
@neonNeptunian *Every single hug and glow they can muster* This is so hard, hon-- and you're pushing through it with the strength of a champion. I'm proud of you, and still cheering you on from the sidelines.
The waiting is always the hardest part.
comforting words
@neonNeptunian I hope that the world is kinder to you soon. You deserve so much better. You try, and you're sweet, and you're good and kind and helpful. And the world is stifling you. I hope, hope hope hope, that it's soon that you're given reprieve
status update, vent, brainglitch
@neonNeptunian Man, this whole planet is a lesson in letting go. I have very serious complaints about the curriculum. #fuckentropy
So much warmth, joy, and vat-based repair awaits you when you return. <3
status update, vent, brainglitch
@neonNeptunian *sends thoughts of empathy, caring*
status update, vent, brainglitch
@neonNeptunian why are they having you there before a date is set? short notice thing?
status update, vent, brainglitch
@Doephin I was supposed to be here ~3 weeks prior to the transplant, for prep-work. Also, a family wedding on the 1st.
Best guess we had was end of july, but.
status update, vent, brainglitch
@neonNeptunian erg all the way around then :/ medical shenanigans are bad enough without shuffling the date on you
status update, vent, brainglitch
A comment made by an aunt a few days back still rings in my mind: 'sometimes we need to be okay with letting go'.
it feels like this year has been so much letting go. erosion. making do with less. how much more will be enough?
more waiting. just...waiting.
i have food and shelter and safety- there's that at least.