katt, migrating 🌟 🌈 @starkatt@awoo.space

Tried DMT for the first time tonight. Wasn't able to really go on a trip because I had trouble using the pipe and finding a middle ground between "does nothing" and "burns the stuff" but I got pleasantly high.

... and then retired to put on headphones and slowly get myself off which was absolutely wonderful. Those stack quite nicely.

Does anyone else find that psychedelics make you immediately want to do lewds? Always does for me.

upstairs room has good lighting and is a nice place for recreational activities

@memnus@octodon.social I kept my name when I transitioned because it still felt pretty relevant and I couldn't think of anything better. It lasted me another five years. Keeping your name is okay and you can always take something different later if that feels right then.

@forestservice I'm really glad things are getting better! Things seemed pretty bad for a while but it didn't feel like the kind of bad I could really do anything about? I dunno, maybe I should have said more. Anyway I hope the upswing continues :)

@confusedcharlot CBT in general isn't well set up to deal with situations in which there are actual real unavoidable problems.

@forestservice Oh, sweetie, I thought you knew. I'm sorry I didn't say anything.

I'm self-actualizing the heck out of myself.

This place gets to rent my body during weekdays. That's the limit of my obligation to them, and I won't give anything more than that if I can help it.

I am not this place. I will never be this place. I'm a luninous, magical rainbow snowflake and they can't take that away from me. I know my value and will do my very best to make sure it's recognized.

Dear boss: flatly telling me I have no hope of a raise, then telling me a task should take all day, then leaving to go to another job site /really/ wasn't the best play in terms of keeping my productivity up. Well done.

had the kind of day where I want someone to obliterate all my negative feels by pinning me down and/or doing fairy graphic things to me. It even kinda works, but isn't something I have super reliable access to. it's also probably a questionable way to cope with things.

I do wonder sometimes where the line between subbiness, abnegation, and self-harm actually is. I wonder if that line even exists.

I'm pretty sure "bird website" was coined by Chuck Tingle?

@FragileVal IMO being upset at that is entirely justified. Being a punchline is awful. Worse is knowing there's a decent chance they don't even think about what they're doing.

@tcql@octodon.social trying to tell myself "you don't have to have an opinion about every topic" is really freeing, when I remember to tell myself that.

So the big thing I learned from my last time taking mushrooms was a deep, visceral understanding of what "everyone dies alone" really means. I kind of wish I didn't, tbh.

I had hoped for an evening of being connected to the people around me, but the drugs hit harder than expected and I kind of stopped being a part of the world for a while. Deeply isolating.

Part of me wants to go back there, to see if I can get used to not fully existing.

@tcql@octodon.social Half of my friends who work in tech have stickers that say "FUCK COMPUTERS" on their laptops.

@memnus@octodon.social I have no idea what that is supposed to mean either.