Crinklewott 💕 @thingywott@awoo.space

@cinnamon practically speaking, that means that even when i have the chance to interact with my kinks, i'll gladly do that--but i won't really know what to do beyond that

it also means that, because i interact with a lot of these things on a more passive level, i don't feel particularly strong urges to do things...and instead usually just end up thinking about my obsession du jour instead

but i'm also convinced that would change drastically if someone managed to conjure up the right aesthetics

@cinnamon that basically leaves me with a really confusing situation of knowing my aesthetic, but not actually being able to grasp it tangibly

so, there are things that push my buttons, but those things are hard to imagine before they happen (or i think reaaally hard about things that "might" be related)

@cinnamon it's also fun because of how much my mind fixates on the idea of cute ideas, and wanting to be cute

i think that's actually where any sort of libido i do have comes from too. and because i don't find outright sex cute, paradoxically, my libido basically self-destructs if i start thinking about it

@cinnamon oh! sure!

basically, i identify as demi because while i don't really have an interest in sex itself, there are definitely things that i like very much that can kinda offset that

some of those things are kinks, but most of them are aesthetics

as a result, 99% of the time, i just kinda like passively being in kink aesthetic without actually interacting with it on any sexual level, but that changes when i imagine myself in a few mostly-nonsexual situations

@cinnamon gosh, ain't that a mood

@yogthos@mastodon.social i see you in there again! congrats!! ^^

@cinnamon ooh! that sounds amazing

it always rules when you can just like...hang for as long as you are comfy and play things~

@cinnamon pretty good!

i have a bunch of cool things that i can do today, and i'm fatally distracted from anything else, hahah

@cinnamon ohayou goodogmasu~

@typhlosion ultimately, i came up short

i didn't want to be disingenuous and continue anyway, so i gave an update to the original person who came forward to me a few months later and told them that i had tried my best, but i really couldn't continue without more information

i also mentioned that anything else they were comfortable sharing with me would help tremendously, and that i was sorry for failing them

when they weren't comfortable mentioning anything more, i told them that i unfortunately really couldn't do anything more with what they gave me, but if they ever felt comfortable enough confiding anything more, i would give it my responsible due diligence to help them again

i haven't heard from them since, and i still have no idea what the truth is

@typhlosion i agonized about how i could do right for someone who could have been abused in a way that was traumatic enough that they couldn't give any information about what happened, and also wanted to stay anonymous

i spent actual months trying to search for things on their behalf to try and unearth something i could confirm--anything to help them not fall under the clutches of this person's control again if news of their abuse got out and they suspected who talked

@typhlosion i was actually in this situation not long ago--where someone confided in me about something terrible that happened to them, and the entire event was traumatic enough that they didn't feel like they could give any additional details outside of that, and wanted to stay anonymous in case there was revenge from the people who abused them

i wanted to be responsible, so i tried to find ways to do my due diligence for their sake, and for the sake of anyone else who this person might have abused

what i ended up trying to do was to ask to everyone i could reach if they experienced abuse at the hands of someone, but only gave generic qualifiers like "they have a large audience", or "they are active still", etc...

the idea was to see if anyone would step forward about the same person without specifically mentioning who i was talking about until i had concrete evidence against them that i could dig into

i also communicated what i was doing to the person who originally contacted me