Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

(12 oz. later...)

Ah, yes, that's an inestimable improvement over my previous enervated condition! I feel so neurologically nimble, nothing could elude my newfound perspicacity. What an incomparable restorative! I thank you, good baristas! Ad astra per aspera, as they say!

*smiles broadly for 2-3 seconds, topples over like Viccini from the Princess Bride, then lies totally inert until a forklift is dispatched by Alaska Airlines*

uups Q = 2, i sary 0 bren leff

aftur Q hol dez uf travil tigr bren know(sp?) strugil 2 brij sainapdic pafwez

nid kofe ssun

"Earl the Security Guard," the racist asshole who kicked Jermaine Massey out of the Portland Doubletree, got canned. So did the clerk who enabled him. I feel so much less shitty about staying in a Doubletree last night now. :D

https://wgntv.com/2018/12/29/portland-hotel-employees-who-asked-black-guest-to-leave-fired/

you just look at these two good kitties and fucking tell me again how trans-speciesism is a joke 😻😻😻​

@Oneironott Aww geez. *blush*

@troodon Awww. *blush* <3 And yeah, he got his. ^__^

Sitting here watching animal vids on Reddit to pass the time, wondering if @mawr's babies would pass the Corgi IQ Test...

https://i.imgur.com/3G0NGVk.gifv

Fun fact:

I was born premature... 1½ times.

My mom tried to push me out after about six months. If I remember her stories correctly, they gave her some kind of treatment to stop the labor... but I got stuck pretty far down the birth canal, with some of her womb muscles contracted around my head.

I was finally born "only" a month premature, at something like 2 lbs. 8 oz. I also had a lovely tonsure-like ring of bruises around my head.

The obstetrician on duty apparently had trouble getting me out with forceps, the bruising got worse, and he told my mom I was going to be, quote, "profoundly retarded," the plates of my skull would never separate properly. He told her I would never learn to feed myself, and would probably be dead by six. (He lost his license years later for unrelated incompetence.)

Thankfully, my Aunt Pauline was a retired RN and had a good friend in Cleveland who was a neurologist. She looked my skull over for 2-3 minutes, waved a penlight in front of me, and (I'm told) watched me coo and grasp at random things with great curiosity. She basically said "yeah, um, fuck that guy, your baby's gonna be fine."

Heh, I sure proved her wrong. :D

According to my mom, I got left on some state list of special-needs children and shortly after my 5th birthday they sent a social worker over. Mom was not happy. She called me downstairs and had me read bits of the dictionary out loud at the poor guy. We never heard from them again. :)

Sometimes, though... I do wonder if something didn't get squished in there after all. You know... that vital part of the brain that prevents normal people from turning into a tiger. =^____^;=

#2019LifestyleGoals

2 Gryphon turned up in my Youtube recs and now I'm gonna have to pray nobody at the airport is a bald guy with stupid-looking shades, douchey facial hair, and a smug grin. During air travel, I know I will NOT have the willpower or cognitive faculties remaining to not punch them.

I'm kidding, of course, but still. I probably *would* punch the real one. -___-

@Leucrotta Yeah, but after yesterday's travel delays, putting on that kind of face is the LAST thing I can do. :) I think I spent my entire Charm Pool on the United ticketing agent last night. (It worked, though. You wanna talk about a look of delight on somebody's face-- that poor overworked bastard when I told him I didn't insist on flying out first thing in the morning, and could even wait til Sunday if I had to...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_y8DfbRbY0

#moodsnapshot #oldmeme
#CallItTrololoAndIWillEatYourFace

I woke up in a magical land where the beds are soft (so soft my back hurts), the the cookies are free (but you only get one), the ginger ale flows like soda water (because their bar's soda fountain was broken), and nobody ever gets kicked out of the lobby for being black (except when they do).

Thanks, Doubletree!

(Actually, it was fine except for the queasy feeling of staying at a Doubletree after the Jermaine Massey incident, even at United's expense. C'est l'air.)

@Leucrotta man, if chicago had any decent late-night cake delivery services i would be REAL tempted

@Leucrotta actually the dude gave me
like $40 in meal vouchers for being chill about everything so he is a tiger best friend forever =^______^=

settled in the o'hare doubletree, flying out tomorrow afternoon

i'm honestly not too uptight about it, it's not like i had anything urgent to do in seattle besides dragon petting, getting stoned, and glowtide in like three whole days

haha nvm, current theory is that the gate agent just doesn't quite grasp how time zones work u_u

oh, well. will keep y'all posted.

@JulieSqveakaroo I... I don't think I wanna play Pac-Man for a couple days after watching that Bandersnatch thing. >___>;;

Okay, the poor overworked agent at the counter SWORE up and down I'd probably be able to make my connection, even though it's only 15 minutes, and involves going between terminals.

I'm skeptical, but at least there's hope, and the consequences still don't sound all that bad if he's wrong. Best case: home on time. Next best: free hotel and looks like a morning flight is probably available. Worst likely case: they won't cover the hotel and I'm out a bit of Xmas money. Worst possible case: I snap completely and devour an airline agent. 🐯

If you don't see headlines tomorrow about Chicago Animal Control being called to O'Hare, things are going fine. ​