Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

i just fell down the rabbit hole surrounding [BELOVED CHILDREN'S BOOK CHARACTER REDACTED FOR YOUR SAFETY]'s "actual" name and gender

i had not known there was a rabbit hole there

there is and it is "there's where i'm a viking" level, i mean like it's brain poison bad, like it has elicited dr bronner levels of crazy in some of these people

stay well clear, kids, old aunt rezy is gonna put a sign and a fence next to this one...

Martians like to play up the stereotype that they're stupid, but they're actually a very intelligent and civilized bunch of tiger person things. They're all just basically Amethysts. Tons of potential, zero focus, excel at things they can actually be persuaded to care about (e.g. napping, eating, fighting).

My long-standing headcanon is that someone basically spat in their petri dish when the Terrans were synthesizing the prototype Solar races. It was a well-meaning pacifist subversion so Martian tigers couldn't be effectively weaponized, and it basically worked because we're just too flighty and crazy for corps discipline. But ADD is rampant on Mars and we all come off a little... spacey. *stares*

In summary, if anyone in the 23rd century creates a Ritalin equivalent for 600 lb. spacecats, y'all on the other planets are FUCKED. 🐯​😽​❤️​

​psa reminder
i am a tiger (fig 1: 🐯)
i go rar sometimes (see fig 2 below)
i usually don't mean it
and i really work hard not to bite
but i'm just saying
for my piece of mind as much as yours
you might wanna watch your step around my tail if i'm sleeping

(this is not a subtoot i'm having a good day am well fed and catnipped just thinking about tiger stuff 🐟​​🐠🐞🍩​​why is there no gazelle corpse emoji)

"I set out to be Steven Universe and wound up somewhere between Gene Belcher and Flame Princess. And that might be maybe not terrible?"

@JulieSqveakaroo See, Julie, this is why I like you. You understand predator things. Incidentally... you using that left arm for anything? *friendly sniff* =^______^=

I might be in a tiny bit of a 🐯​mood this morning.

🖼

@Momentrabbit *hugs tight* Love ya, rabbit. Been scattered and busy therefore quiet, but I think about you a lot. Antler Mom is right beside me. Rubbing her antlers for you. <3

@anthracite Of course!

@emanate I'd already had the line spoiled for me, but I didn't know _she_ was the one saying it! :D

Oh. Never mind. Sorry, Blue. <3

rezy you soft weak fucking kitten

if you can't even get past two lines of "love like you" how the fuck do you expect to live through the finale

Swing and a miss, there, Blue. I was JUST about to persuade myself "Oh, you're going to be the _cool_ auntie." And then I got hit with a wave of empathy for my trans friends twelve feet deep. *sigh*

@LexYeen@snouts.online *fuzzy li'l cookie-ears perk at the phrase "countertrolling"* O:)

#RezyIsOffTheWagon
#RezyKeptHerRifleOverTheMantelpiece

@Soreth *cue montage of sad tropical dragonlady staring longingly at various seafood, scored to "Walk On The Ocean"* ;____;

#MarsIsWithYouInYourTimeOfDifficulty

@Leucrotta @anthracite Do you have their address? I don't mind futzing with some bus tables to figure out where's easiest to meet you!

Mind blown.

JC, the Mansonesque bad guy from the MST3K episode Sidehackers?

Exact same guy who voiced George Liquor, Ren and Stimpy's abusive owner.

Also, he was the Klingon who picked the fight with Scotty in The Trouble With Tribbles.

@Leucrotta @anthracite Also, Jon, where are you stationed currently? We can try to keep it to one bus hop away from you!

@Leucrotta @anthracite Any preferences, Peg? I know you like to perch. :)

@Leucrotta @anthracite Maybe Friday like mid-afternoon, 2 or 3ish? Any preferences where to meet up? Honestly, there's nothing amazing cafe-wise in the UD anymore, and it breaks my heart, but Ballard and Cap Hill have some good options...