Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Oneironott *giggle* I was sitting here debating whether to point that out. :D

The only update anyone really needs about this ongoing mess:

The tiger is going outside for a really long walk with the dragon and maybe a nap in the sun. It will be adorable. I highly recommend doing something similar. (Unless you're in Australia or something and will probably freeze your ass off.) 🐯​

@Leucrotta YOU TEMPT ME, OH YOU TEMPT ME.

In fact, I think Mars is gonna start figuring out how to build orbital defenses. (Hey! Hey, @acetone_kitten! I know we don't talk much anymore, but can you get the Lunarians to build us some orbital defenses?)

#MarsOnlyGotOneTrickAndThatsLookingCuteAndHelpless

Laissez les mauvais temps rouler.

Heh. Eh-heh. OK, never mind. The "other side" just said something so pants-on-head crazy and irresponsible that if this really were a detective story, the Big Bad would have just shot himself midway through my Existentialist Film Noir Hero narration.

No, fuck those guys. For now I am satisfied to just chuck this all into The Vault. And my apologies once again to everyone who is in the dark about all this. Believe me, unless it comes looking for you, you don't want to go looking for it.

*puts on trenchcoat, fedora (the Carmen Sandiego kind, not the incel kind), whiskey flask, and flat-footed shoes*

Guess who's dumb enough to play detective in this whole apocalyptic social mess.

Fuck me.

Maybe, just maybe I can actually get enough information to bring some sanity to this. But you know, I don't believe in that anymore. All I want is a clean conscience for myself. And maybe, deep down, an excuse to spend the next five years of my life in a social-media-free bunker.

Maybe I'll get really lucky, this'll turn out like Blade Runner, and I'll get to have been an android all along. Or maybe I'll get even luckier and it'll turn out to be like DOA.

@LexYeen@snouts.online I'm genuinely sorry to hear, yeen deserve better. *hug*

@Momentrabbit Wait, what? Is it time to take refuge on dragon.style?

@anthracite @Phorm Yeah, but that's because you deliberately never listen to me. (Which is probably a good policy. ❤️​♠️​)

If you want to imagine the future...

...picture those scenes from Looney Tunes where Bugs Bunny is playing "All Those Endearing Young Charms" on a piano rigged to explode on a certain note, but he keeps missing that note...

...only Bugs Bunny is a Martian tigress...

...and instead of "All Those Endearing Young Charms" it's "Run To The Hills" by Iron Maiden, and instead of a piano it's a gigantic creepy mistuned church organ...

...and the organ is rigged with a 30 gigaton Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator (with a very fashionable metallic-purple and gold-orbit-ringed plastic casing)...

...and she can play the piano just fine, she keeps missing that note on purpose just to fuck with you until she's good and ready to end your miserable planet...

...which is in about 15 seconds.

one of those nights when you just wanna play black sabbath at 78 rpm and thereby end it all

Today's activities:

* work
* hypochondria
* stress sleeping
* stress eating
* more hypochondria
* Civ V
* watching Get Carter
* kitty hijinks
* composing a silly song for Peg about taking her antibiotics on time, due to Wednesday's kitty hijinks

The last four were pretty good, honestly, although I feel a bit guilty for nearly mistaking Sugarfoot (good pettable semi-stray kitty) for Miss Quivertail (bad scratchy feral kitty) and shunning them.

Fortunately, Peg caught my mistake and we let Sugarfoot in, gave her a good petting and a fish treat, and let her roam around for a bit!

And Quivertail may yet be redeemed, but since she scratched Peg up the other day she is on Kitty Probation. She still gets fed, but only on the porch, and not the good fishy stuff!

@JulieSqveakaroo @mawr To be fair, I'll bet neither of them is easy to recognize when they're holding still. :D

@anthracite No, I intend to remain a strictly Orthodox Situationist. Let's just go on a dérive, no nonsense about simulations necessary.

(The folks on MeFi made some real good points about how silly it is to tie this to simulation theory: especially given that most simulations when crashed just STOP. Dammit, Fitz, get your dumb little dog pawbs off that Earth Control...)

Frank Grimes was right. -_-

#DohDohDoh

@hystericempress Ooh, which one? That sounds like something Peg might get into.

This article makes me unaccountably sad.

https://theoutline.com/post/7881/i-became-a-randonaut-to-try-to-glitch-the-simulation-and-all-i-got-was-a-bottle-of-pee?zd=1&zi=e7c7cilg

I'm in that sort of mood I could impulsively describe as "hating everybody," but that's not really accurate. I still _like_ people, after all, present company largely included*. ;) Just not very actively at the moment. If I could live in a high-tech monastic cloister with a good food dispenser, locked to the outside world, that would be pretty rad.

I'm not even in a bad mood, per se, just... flat. But the general onslaught of life in 2019 has dropped my Dunbar's number** to mmmmaybe 1.5? I can fire up positive emotions for most of Peggy and about 2/3rds of any given one of the people who actually went out of their way to help me during The Thing. No particular one, just one at a time. Whoever's actually bothering to be there.

This is not a deliberate sentiment, nor a good one. I'm hoping it passes soon, because it's no way to live. It's just a symptom of exhaustion and mild despair. It just is. I'm just tired and exasperated.

*it's not that i secretly hate, say, ~10% of my followers, i just hate ~10% of what we all—including me—do ;p
** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number

@hystericempress That's my little sis talkin' there! 😻😻😻

Christ, people, if you're gonna inflict the Beach Boys on us, at least play something from Pet Sounds.

#BrianWilsonIsGod
#FuckKokomo
#MikeLoveCanSuckMyBigStripeyQuarterPlushDick