Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Rezeya Montecore-St-Hobbes, Empress* of Mars offers the humblest available apologies to Shadow, Empress of 500-600 [REDACTED], Mid-City for mistakenly slandering her family for the, quote, "stinky stinky cat poot." Her Majesty* was unaware that she had left her weed vaporizer on.

We once again welcome the errant Princess Artemus back to our shared Terran domain and repledge our eternal devotion to our alliance.

You are kinda stinky though.

Dictated but not read,

​*

@Leucrotta this is the most nakedly self-serving "pics or it didn't happen" i have ever typed ;9~~

We hadn't really let the emotional impact of this hit because of Artie, but now that she's OK...

Yeah. We have news about Parallax that is good enough that we can't go into detail about it. It may or may not pan out, but we may have accomplished a major step towards actually getting this project recognized, here.

ARTIE UPDATE:

In case you missed the previous one... we are in CONDITION YAY. ^_______^

Artie is rescued. She is chilling out with us and we're thinking she's gonna spend the next couple days as an indoor cat. She seems (highly) energetic and healthy if understandably twitchy.

ARTIE UPDATE:

KITTY RESCUE VERY YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She's currently in our apartment having a monster poop. :)

also THANK YOU ALL for all the advice, concern, and help. we're so close and my hopes are at the highest they've been so far. we're taking a break-- we've been up since 7 am-- but might make another attempt tonight.

@JulieSqveakaroo nnnnope :) but see latest, we HAVE ACCESS to her, just can't get her down! she HAS FOOD AND WATER NOW <3 <3 <3 so there is lots of hope -- we're gonna knock off for the day and hit up Home Depot tomorrow in force, probably check on her tonight and make sure she's still intact and stocked up

ARTIE UPDATE:

We haven't rescued her yet, but we made face-to-face contact, even got her close enough for a scritch and a treat from Peg's fingers. She has food and water we have confirmed she has access to. Not remotely resolved yet, the hole we found in the attic is too small and she's SUPER skittish about leaping down (understandably, she's gotta do it from a rafter), but...

WE KNOW SHE IS ALIVE, FED, AND HYDRATED NOW. Tools and Attempt #2 tomorrow morning. May seek carpentry advice soon.

Cat still stuck in neighbor's attic. Fire department was of no help though they did put forth a reasonable effort. See https://twitter.com/zebratron2084 for further information.

This is an all hands on deck situation. Please boost. If you know ANYONE in New Orleans area who might help, please let us know. If you have ANY practical advice (beyond "get a ladder," see twitter, it's too high & not safe) let us know.

Current Plan A: build a ramp out of lumber. Needs to be >20-30'. Advice VERY welcome.

@DrSagan Watching him do sketch comedy is pretty surreal too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3Lu0dX0GTg&list=PL4Ss6TCig8hFipHXzxiBGQeghhQcN9JL5&index=1

@Austin_Dern @KinkyTurtle

@Leucrotta => "Dr Booty" from Sifl and Olly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obb8WmKCMUw

@JulieSqveakaroo @Oneironott She does have a point! Li'l bappypaws otter don't know etc etc. <3

Finally reconnected with my therapist. Big breakthroughs today... including finally getting up the nerve to discuss the accusations of abusiveness I got when Transliminal broke up.

We talked a LOT about what was really behind all that, how I long ago accepted my behavior was way unstable and my temper could be very scary to someone with Her background, but there was never ANY desire to control or manipulate behind any of the outbursts. It was all pure fear and self-hatred.

And she agreed. She said it just didn't sound like the usual warning signs at all-- and reassured me that Massive Temper Blowouts due to sheer sensory and emotional overload are really common among people with ADHD.

And I'd been TRYING to internalize that for years and move on, I suspected it's true, but... I guess I never felt morally qualified to be the one to turn off the alarm sensor. And FINALLY I can have a little peace there.

I wish you well, Orrery. I wish your whole family well. I don't think this was any more your fault than it was mine, and I DEFINITELY think a good chunk of it was my fault. I never wanted any of it, and to the last day, I cared so fucking much about you.

I hope we never see each other again, for both our sakes. I don't think the glitches that led us to fight can be fixed, only routed around. And Peggy has proven to be that route and I feel so much safer and more comfortable stuck otherwise-alone down here than I ever did "surrounded by friends" (true tho some of them proved to be <3 <3 ) in Seattle.

@Oneironott So much of Neptunian society has evolved to just be "Kurt Vonnegut's _Galapagos_ Was Right" and while it is So Not A Martian Scene I am so proud of y'all. :D

@Austin_Dern There's something very similar on AirBNB somewhere out west, and @anthracite and I keep pondering a vacation out there... I'll see if I can dig up the information.

have i mentioned lately that shemp is an absolute legend?

he didn't particularly do anything, just came in this morning and Shemped at us for a bit and then politely went outside when it was time for us to go out to the cafe

but dammit if that's not enough what more could you possibly want from him? hero in my book. *nod*

@JulieSqveakaroo @Austin_Dern That's it. That's the story. I feel like I could have ginned it up a little more, but... I dunno, I've just always loved the idea of an "antique" Tetris machine and am really sad nobody ever followed through. :D

@JulieSqveakaroo @Austin_Dern The plan was to build an analog version of Tetris, with little electromechanical split-flap displays for the blocks, bolt a brass plaque on it with the instructions in Cyrillic, put it in a wooden cabinet, hand-age the whole thing, and then try to pass it off as a genuine antique Tetris machine from 1933.

@JulieSqveakaroo @Austin_Dern So back in the day, I was on a Discordian mailing list run by a grad student at the University of Monash in Australia. His name was Andrew Bulhak, and his main claim to fame was a Markov-chain based algorithm for generating postmodernist academic papers, which he would then print out and distribute at random classes.

So. One day he proposed a prank.