Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Balina Oh god. Been there, sister... *hugs*

@Balinares Nothing's been formalized yet, but I've gotten a positive early sign that we seem to be abl to make an agreement.

Miss you lots, btw, so glad we were able to get together after all! <3

Early signs point to agreement in the current matter. Still waiting on further treaty terms. This is going good so far, and certain foxish personages will be rewarded lavishly, if I have anything to do with it, for their exemplary role as diplomat. I'm puttin' in a word with the Extra Tails Council for her, for sure. <3 <3 <3

Okay, maybe not a great time to run into an "I'd like to bully a straight dude" toot. Fortunately, it's easily enough taken care of. *kerblock*

But yeah, daily PSA for the people not paying attention in class:

I AM A STRAIGHT DUDE. I AM AN RL-MALE-PRESENTING INDIVIDUAL WHO DOES NOT INTEND TO TRANSITION. I AM DATING A TRANSWOMAN. THAT MAKES ME A STRAIGHT MAN. AND I HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH WITHOUT THE CONSTANT FEAR YOU'LL DECIDE I'M FAIR GAME.

I have never been so grateful in my life for Slay the Spire. Do that magic, Spireheart. Make hours and hours of my life go away!

hugs plz btw

I just wrote the most difficult letter of my life. It's got a very small chance of the biggest payoff of my life, though.

And, probably, because I always seem to fuck these things up despite the best intentions, a rather larger change of totally wrecking a whole bunch of stuff for me, Peg, and some people I would really do just about anything for a clean slate with.

If you're guessing, you're probably guessing right, and yeah, you can imagine how scared and anxious I am. Physically, I feel like nothing but a blur. Wish me luck. There's a tiny, tiny hope that friendship, if not magic, is at least _something_.

I have been trying to cut back on making y'all look at my Reddit carrion, but I was just too proud of this one. 🐯​

@mona@cybre.space @Leucrotta @emanate I mean... let's face it, the whole thing is a bit of an exercise in bathos, but there is something about its pomposity and garishness that I find very charming.

The whole film strikes as, I dunno, like someone showing up to a non-costume party in a ridiculous flamboyant costume and yet somehow leaving a good impression on everybody rather than coming off as narcissistic, possibly even because of the bizarre outfit instead of despite it...

hatever gripes I have about y'all, I mean, you are part of the crowd that essentially passed the Milgram Test and refused to fall for the biggest political scam in American history. And you've joined the vanguard of "let's make life a little less shitty for cultural minorities."

I know it's hard not to make a big noisy mess when you're trying to change the world, and I know sometimes I'm the one who's gonna get elbowed in the stomach in all the confusion. (It's OK-- I have a lot of padding there. 🐯​) And I am still proud of you all, even the people I occasionally have to slap with a big wet fish*. :)

I wouldn't be such a growly P.I.T.A. if this weren't my team (like it or not-- and today I did not) and I didn't want to protect you from the errors I've seen previous generations make. You can genuinely take it or leave it, and I'm ready to leave without a fuss** if I ever become too much of an old centrist for you, though I reserve the right to laugh at your fates if you leave it and make the exact same mistakes our enemies did. >:D

Love ya(-ish). 😽​

*Special thanks to she who suggested this perfect turn of phrase for my actual hostility level towards Angry Young Radqueers. <3

**Until the invasion. 2278 AD. Mark your calendars, pitiful Terran primates.

@LexYeen@snouts.online Oh my god, right? My mom and my stepsister had a pretty long snarkbattle over this last Xmas, 'cause the latter LOVES those damn things. Mom, OTOH, did her grad training in educational computing and is not the typical Internet Grandma...

@JulieSqveakaroo *puts a dollar(!, back in my day...) in the jukebox and plays Touch of Grey by the Dead*

@Leucrotta @emanate Flash is my favorite not-strictly-very-good movie by a healthy margin. :D

I was three months old when SNL premiered. I was about a year and a half when Muppet Show premiered.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. No wonder I don't understand you goddamn kids anymore. :D

*crumbles instantly to dust like in H. Rider Haggard's "She"*

🖼

@LexYeen@snouts.online I highly recommend Kurt Vonnegut's _Galapagos_. Mild spoiler, but its basic thesis statement is "sapience was a really terrible idea, and as soon as nature offers us a chance to nope out of it, we should take her up."

🖼

Yeah. We don't worry about this petty shit in the Glorious Martian Future. I'll probably go back to being an Empress tomorrow, and I will be precisely the same obnoxious cat I was before. If you have a problem with me, have a problem with the cat, or the claws, or the teeth-- not the goddamn pronoun.

I realize I am railing against precisely nobody to whom I will ever have to actually speak. Y'all are absolutely good and have been just fine today. <3 I just... yeah, I have to do this, including the growling and hissing and parading around in what we 25th c. folk laughably recall you rubes thinking of as "male" social regalia.

(It doesn't matter, you piss off a Martian of any gender, you're canonically gonna get a big tiger wang in your face as they swagger up and roar down at your tiny crunchy little body. We've all basically got everything here, barbaric Terran scum. <3 )

@001zlnv Good idea but for PR reasons I find it really helps to have a Monster Manual entry to point to, just as you're about to devour someone, so they know precisely how frightened they should be. =^__^=

@LeDiva All felines have a strong pro-feline agenda! We're PERFECT! *picks up tiny kitty for a tiny hi-5* 🐯​

Nah, I think I would have ended up here regardless of your sterling example!