Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@hystericempress "All love is fundamentally selfish"... sure sounds like a certain one or your ex-partners in particular. -_-

@mawr I'm saying this *partially* tongue in cheek, but now I'm wondering if that means someday #%!#$!#% puzzle-block games are gonna be required to stop coloring things in shades of blurple and grorange, so us poor bastards with color blindness can actually play them. ;p

(IT IS THE TWENTY-FIRST FUCKING CENTURY. AND THERE IS *STILL* NO TIME FOR PROTOANOMALY KLAX. 😾​)

@LexYeen@snouts.online that would be so nice — i'm constantly painfully aware that my redrafting alarms/annoys some people, but my OCD will not let me let a miswording or typo stand without tormenting me over it... >_>;

@Phorm *flicks your head with paw and giggles at the kickballish POOMF*

Did I mention the American right has pretty much always been totally batshit paranoid and detached from reality?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaska_Mental_Health_Enabling_Act

I think I've finally gotten together a full series arc that will let us wrap things up in five chapters. Maybe we'll actually complete this comic within our lifetime!

Even better, I think I've put together an ending that nicely ties together the three main themes of the comic:

(a) Society doesn't necessarily have your best interests at heart. Walk away from Omelas early and often.

(b) Friendship is nice, but it's not magic. It won't turn difficult people into easy people.

(c) Transformation is almost as scary as death, especially when it's transformation of a friend into someone you can't recognize and can't get to care about you anymore.

I would never have been able to write this story five years ago, when I was still naïve about so many things and thought I could trust my friends to the end of the earth, even when I was asking far, far too much of them.

To borrow a phrase, "It's been an eventful trip."

http://egypt.urnash.com/parallax/chapter-1-wip/

@Phorm Oh, yeah, that. You'd better use that. It makes the inevitable head chewing a lot less uncomfortable. It's a standard greeting on Mars so you'd better get used to it...

@Phorm Huh. No, actually, I think it might have been an oversight. Pretty sure foxes are not Food. Here, let me look it up here, I can get you an official word. *dons glasses and gets out the Martian Imperial Handbook* Foxes are...

"Toy." Says right here.

@Austin_Dern It's okay, most likely the worst we get is a day or two of shutoff. I can't imagine it's gonna be longer than Monday at the ABSOLUTE worst, in which case you're better believe I'm gonna make @anthracite find us a B&B or something. IT'S A DRAGON ADVENTURE! ^________________^

(They're at the water board right now and are like 15th in line, with about an hour before the same-day cutoff so we'll probably get off scot-free...)

mars is watching

mars is waiting

https://gfycat.com/capitalforkedfrigatebird-nature

there's this passage in the 3rd section of gulliver's travels, where there's a whole society of scatter-brained scholars living in a city of clouds

and they have a whole caste of assistants whose only function is to follow them around with little air-filled bladders on a stick and bop them on the head when they're about to walk off the edge of a cloud and die

why am i mentioning this and what does this have to do with the adorable art-genius dragon lady i live with and love?

no reason at all but on a totally unrelated note maybe our water will be turned back on by tomorrow if we're lucky 🙄​

(at least unlike the laputans, peg actually appreciates her attendant...)

Fuuuuuuck it's pretty out here in NOLA today. I keep reflexively thinking "dammit, is it August already, have I wasted another summer?' And then I remember that is not a meaningful concept here. Winter here is basically Seattle summer. It'll be even BETTER than this.

Best. Exile. Ever.

@Oneironott @emanate Jesus, that's fuckin' cute.

@anthracite Oh! Say hi to the Squad for me! 🐯​

@Austin_Dern Oh, that. That's a trick we use to get Terrans off their guard. The Law of the Jungle* entitles us to EVERYTHING.

*actually some random glyph-scratches in half a dead gazelle, but... you know... they're good scratches

Once upon a time, I worked for in the office of a rather conservative, now defunct construction company in Medford, MA. I have a lot of stories about them, but this one's about the woman who I trained to take over for me as administrative assistant.

At the risk of sounding mean, she really had one of those hamster-wheel minds, where anything she had been taught becomes The Way It's Done for all eternity.

Well, we chatted, like officemates do, and one day we were talking about my Asian Studies degree. And she went on this long, chipper spiel about how Chinese people have "this book" that sits on a pedestal in their front room and it has all the hours of the day listed in it, and it tells them what they should be doing at any given hour.

To this day... I have absolutely no idea what the ever-living fuck she was talking about. And this story has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with anything that happened today, my previous rants, nor anything else.

I'm just still rabidly curious to this day WHAT THE BOUNCING CHRISTNUTS she had *actually* seen in those poor Asian folks' house—she was so generally uninformed I'd give about 1 in 5 odds they were even Chinese—and how the hell she managed to get this idea into her head.

I feel so much better now, you folks are pretty rad and thank you for letting me vent about my odd obsessions. Rawr, etc. <3

@mmsword Or as they """ironically""" put it, "FIFTH DIMENSIONAL CHESS."

Thanks, guys, I hate it.