Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Shemp won't put any pressure on his front paw, and I'm all worried. He wouldn't let me pick him up to have a look, either, and I'm not about to force him.

I didn't see a massive obvious wound or anything so I'm gonna hope it's something he can recuperate from on his own in a couple days. It's good thing alleycats are resilient little buggers, but he's mah buddy and I still can't help but worry.

Otherwise, I guess we start looking for mobile vets, because there's no way we're gonna get him in a cat carrier. *sigh*

@001zlnv @Austin_Dern Horns, chest, and loins, baby.

@Austin_Dern @001zlnv I used to play like that, until Shaka showed me The Way. >:D

today's #moodsnapshot courtesy of the Flaming Carrot

@Phorm This is the first time I've been genuinely sad I left Birdsite, because if it's THAT easy to prank these goddamn bots... :D

@troodon I should hassle @anthracite to draw Full-Blown Martian Manticore Rezy in those poses.

@001zlnv I mean, I used to come in lime, but that flavor got discontinued in 2016. =(>).(<)=

Heh. Angry red plastic raccoon. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

@Soreth Think of it as an investment. =(^)______(^)=

@Leucrotta Oh shit, my hunch was right. Postmodern hypostasis is an actual thing!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypostasis_(literature)

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I can't help noticing nobody got me the power to decide who lives and who dies for my birthday, and I know I asked y'all about it. It's been on my wish list for years. I love you but do better next year.

(If Crow T. Robot still has it and there's only one, it's OK. He can have it. He's done more than me to deserve it. And um frankly he probably has a higher WIS score. ​ )

I feel like by watching this show, I've discovered the first magickal key that unlocks Trump's America. And I'm putting it down on the ground very slowly, running, and never coming back. Jesus Piggin' Christ, I think I'm gonna watch Adventures of Gumball for the rest of the night. >_<

And now they're lecturing a mother who killed her son's bully about how "high school is very difficult for some kids, but eventually it's over." And that line damn near spelled a 10-yard flight for my laptop.

Not if you're a cop, apparently. You get to play the bully for years and years and years. Motherfucker, I hope your personal afterlife is just being kicked in the crotch hour by hour by people who got scarred for life by that dismissive "nothing that happens to teens matters" shit.

Smug Cop to his "perp," a bouncer who accidentally rolled an abusive drifted down a hill to his death: "Treating a human being like garbage is not a job, it's a choice."

Me: *makes Donald Sutherland in Body Snatchers shrieking noises while trembling and pointing at this side of back bacon who's treated innocent witnesses like garbage because "it's his job" for four straight episodes*

Gil Grissom, giving advice to two forensic specialists trying to destink themselves after leaving the morgue: "Lemons. Use lemons."

Me: "Ah, mais oui! Le jambon, c'est meilleur avec les citrons!"

@Leucrotta At first I read that as "postmodern hypostasis" and I was like, WOW, what the fuck kind of cop show is this?! :D

For example, one of Our Heroes to his coworker, investigating a murder in a high school:

"Which one were you in high school? A jock or a brain?"

Me: "I'm pretty sure I dissected a fetal you in AP Bio, actually."

Oh, and honestly, it's just plain fun rooting against the "good guys." The amount of casual bullying they get away with towards ordinary working-class folks and professionals is ridiculous, and it's obviously they fully expect us to be cheering for them to "tell it like it is."

I'm gonna have to watch like four full seasons of Reno 911! to get the stink of this show out of my fur. (And don't you dare try to tell me Reno 911 is copaganda. NOBODY is rooting for those guys.

Okay, *maybe* for Jonesy. :p )

Current activity: hate-watching CSI in a bout of good media starvation.

It's actually kinda fun. It's SO PATRONIZING. They talk down to their audience so hard, via people with scientific educations who would absolutely never be having these conversations with each other. It's "AS YOU KNOW, SARAH JANE..." to the tenth power.

I've also called about 3-4 of their "shocking twist endings" by, you know, reading the damn paper now and then. Like the episode whose "twist" was a rebirthing therapy that had gone awry. Even though they said the deceased had been in therapy for an attachment disorder in the first five minutes of the episode. And he died by being smothered by a blanket. Because that was ALL OVER THE NEWS.

I'm still working up the nerve to watch the "yes we seriously believed furries could fuckpile in latex-lined fursuits and not die of heatstroke because what the fuck is research" episode.

Oh, and now I'm pretty sure the urban legend that the writers were in a secret competition with the other crime shows to see who could pass the worst technobabble past their boomer idiot bosses is 100% true.

@Austin_Dern "The Strange Case of The Coati Who Regretting Reading The Comments"