Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

everything, ranked:

1: duct tape
2: rice cookers
3: jar lid openers
...
n-2: zippers
n-1: Venetian blinds
n: caster wheels

This song reminds me of @anthracite. <3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWOpbviQWY4

Rooting for the Bomb
Rooting for the Bomb
Waiting out the Last Days
Rooting for the Bomb

Rooting for the Nukes
Rooting for the Nukes
We'll see no more retweets
Bring us all the Nukes

#moodsnapshot ofc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec0clERjQ5A

Also, we have had a special request from our Head Offices:

Director H: 😽​💯​

Kirsch: 🗑​🐼​(sorry, dude)

Director H: (no lynx, understandable)

Noelle: 🦄

Rezeya: 🐯

Kirsch: (no raccoons, boo, but understandable in Japan!)

Laika: 🐶(блять, это плохое сходство!)

Alba: 🐱​🐰(*green blush*)

Enmerkar: 🐲​

Schadenfreude: 🐴🐞​​??? ("obviously the result of Imperialist Equestrian political pressure on ISO 15924" *bzzz*)

Mitraillette: 🐿​("I am SO not reticulated. >_< ")

Poiuyt: 🐰​🦌​?!

[Redacted]: 🦅​

Aston: (the mustelid anti-defamation league has been contacted)

You know, we need a little sign system like (+/-) to denote toot alignment. I've had a lot of recent feels that should be captioned Chaotic Neutral.

Hmm, yeah, 🐯about does it. Now I'm curious how many of my Headcouncil members are properly represented by emoji...

It's always nice to discover I've got another Birdsite alt that hasn't yet been blocked by 2_Gryphon for calling him "dumber than paste," so I can immediately use it to call him dumber than paste and get it blocked too. ^___^

There's a discussion thread about trapping mice over on BoingBoing, and some naive soul is asking if any of it can be extrapolated to raccoons.

The obvious foolishness of this aside... God, what I wouldn't give to see this somehow end up with Cory, Xeni, and Mark getting rabies. Or mysteriously shanked in the middle of the night with stolen silverware. =(^)_(^)=

#AGalleryOfMurderousThings
#ProcyonidLiberationFront
#FuckYourCountercultureSkymall

Ever since I changed my name here on Masto, I've had the rare urge to crossdress in something other than space-perv gear.

I want to play pirate lady dress-up. I want a big ruffled impractical skirt and an eyepatch and a real cutlass. And if it's possible to use a cutlass to sabre a champagne cork, I want someone to teach me how.

And I want to go to a drag night, order Cristal, drink right out of its decapitated neck, and go home.

Seattle is sunny and gorgeous, and I have a relatively early start on work. This feels like one of those mornings where the world is full of possibilities, and there's not one of my problems that could not be solved with determination, good faith, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a vial of anthrax.

Wait, what?

I may or may not have devoted some part of my afternoon to trolling a homophobic Albanian. O:)

https://translate.google.com/#sq/en/v%C3%ABlla%20kam%20nevoj%C3%AB%20p%C3%ABr%20m%C3%AB%20shum%C3%AB%20nikotin%C3%AB%20p%C3%ABr%20Adidas%0A%0Av%C3%ABlla%2C%20si%20mund%20ta%20shikoj%20futbollin%20n%C3%AB%20traktor%3F%0A%0Av%C3%ABlla%2C%20kjo%20dele%20e%20mir%C3%AB%20shqiptare%20%C3%ABsht%C3%AB%20e%20rr%C3%ABshqitshme%0A%0Av%C3%ABlla%2C%20pse%20nuk%20kemi%20nj%C3%AB%20ekonomi%3F%20a%20nuk%20jan%C3%AB%20llogaritar%C3%AB%20t%C3%AB%20mir%C3%AB%20t%C3%AB%20deleve%3F

#moodsnapshot

A goddess of the night, transfigured, feasts on the eyeball of the Jackalope Mother.

She seems to be down with it.

This is a curious omen indeed.

I've probably posted this Reggie Watts/Maktub album a hundred times, but it's given me so much comfort over the last year and I want to share it. What a gorgeous voice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbWT8UKi7gE&list=PLipQyk9ytmyhV51dPd0Hg5KVAF1Spfoll

Reggie's the one celebrity it would still truly break my heart to discover is a piece of shit, because I have built my whole world on the presumption that he is exactly the alien teddy bear he comes across as. (I've only ever seen him be mean to Skrillex, which I consider a good sign. 😺​)