misfiled as "Keet, Electric" @ElectricKeet@awoo.space

Don't worry, folks, I did actually make it out of bed. I even made that breakfast, and now I'm in the Slack and Masto phase. It's just... not as comfortable as I'd like. Still, it's hard enough getting motivated through all the neurochemical barriers in the way, and as much as I hate the "spoons" metaphor, pushing past real physical pain takes a lot of spoons early.

Let's hope the CBD helps out, aye?

INTERIOR: BEDROOM, MID-MORNING

KEET: Wow, I feel great! I slept well, I had pleasant dreams, I woke up next to my favourite buni, I'm full of energy, and the sun is shining through the trees outside. I could do anything today! Maybe I can fix myself a nice little breakfast – eggy-in-the-basket! – and then check e-mail, catch up on Slack and Masto, hit a café, get work done on design or music—

KEET'S LOWER BACK MUSCLES, INEXPLICABLY SPEAKING RUSSIAN: _Нет!_

KEET: Ow. Or, I could lie here....

tired: tires
wired: wires

Clockwise, calendarfoolish.

More antipatterns I've known and loathed:

Surface Pro 3: "You spent how much on an ultrabook that looked ideal for artists and designers? Have a stylus with an eraser button that cannot be reconfigured to do anything but launch our note-taking software. Cheers!"

Windows 10: "CORTANA! ONEDRIVE! EDGE! OFFICE 365! XBOX SMARTGLASS! CORTANA! BING! WINDOWS DEFENDER! AUTOMATIC UPDATES! CANDY CRUSH! CORTANA!"

Android OS: "Just make it easy on both of us and give in to the panopticon, 'kay?"

Some antipattern highlights from my personal Hall of Shame:

Yelp: "Followed a link via your mobile device? Have a giant content-obscuring plea to download our invasive native client! If you addicentally decline we'll helpfully redirect you to the site's root instead of the page you wanted. We helped!"

Adobe: "Forced to download the Flash Player installer? We'll just opt you in to installing McAfee's panic-inducing windmill-tilting antivirus soft. Natural pairing, like Jell-O and Cheez-Its!"

At Oasis, a bubble tea shop in Seattle's university district, I approached the counter and spotted a wonderful circuit-trace-pattern tattoo on the forearm of the barista/cashier.

Me, with a grin: "I gotta say, your ink is heckin' awesome!"

Them, now smiling: "Thanks! And thanks for using the word heckin'."

Me: "It's great, innit? So friendly!"

https://awoo.space/media/HUQeZVWS3gUNScnsRWI

https://awoo.space/media/pnrAB9rNdL3VPROxf2c

Someone thought this was clever ad copy. They were wrong.

Friends, if you hear a common word used a lot and don't understand why, try a bit of research instead of plastering your ignorance all over the place as part of an advertising campaign, y'know?

Life would be easier if it weren't locked to a first-person view.