-> @oneironott@vulpine.club @Oneironott@awoo.space

As anticipated, actually getting a job hasn't exactly stopped my anxiety. Now I'm constantly worried about measuring up, and potentially losing my job.
It's not rational, but it is *sigh* pretty constant.

Vicarious bits of freewriting mixed with belief. In part inspired by some lyrics from The M Machine - Moon Song that I've been meaning to incorporate for some time into something.

They stared at each other.
Studied every inch of each other in moments long in waiting.
"How did you know?" the vulpine whispered, eyes never leaving his lover.
"I... didn't." The kangaroo replied with a stray look and a motion to the light show that sparkled with dancers over the glow-lit city.
"I just hoped. I'm sorry that I left you with that, that cycle I-'
The vulpine shook his head, and rested paw upon paw as they watched the festival radiate with joy and love.

The silence that followed made them drift to the river of glow beside them, and upwards at what mimicked a sky from the depth they were at. The sound of celebration was distant, but they could make out the sounds of music and the pangs of joy in their mindlink.
"It hardly makes the -food- a focal point, now doesn't it? I mean I'm sure it's GOOD or you would've predicted the kelp grub down the street." The fox snirked, forcing his lover to laugh.

There will be festival in the area. don't ask me how I know. There's a famous restaurant that sits on the river there on one side. I'll have reservations waiting. Don't worry, love. Don't cry. I'll be back in no time."

There was a silence, and the lilac kangaroo across from him quirked their brow.
"You... memorized it? That was a thousand years ago."
He twitched his vulpine whiskers with a blush.
"One thousand and thirteen. Four months... and some odd change."

"There is a place at the bottom of the ocean, where the depths meet the light below. It's a city that looks drenched in moonlight all the time from the glow of the ocean of light it rests by, like a port city resting on the ocean itself. It's a humorous aesthetic of aquatic, port scenery underwater, but don't get me wrong... it's incredibly romantic. There's a famously romantic bridge there, and you won't be able to miss it. it goes right over the glowing river.

Manual methods are the best. Nothing quite as intimate as someone else's paws on the handle of a bike pump. Having to beg and plead~ "please~ make me bigger~ pop me~ oooohh"

*Shivers*

To see them push down on that thing, a simple push for them sending your belly breaking bigger and fuller. Mmmphhh

Ahhh beat Ori and the Blind Forest ^.^ such a good game

There's no point anyway. The tangibles. Gender or species. I'm never going to get there anyway. I'll be long dead. Just have to be happy with the abstract. The inner stuff. The subjective. No one may ever see that. But it is all I will ever have.

Don't mourn me when I'm dead. I mean, is not going to be any time soon, but in general. The end of suffering sounds so peaceful. I've a better chance at all this next cycle, anyway.

One misgendering really fucks with me I guess.
Maybe people aren't just parsing be female or cis
Maybe I just look like a guy and pronouns rarely come up around me.

Of course I'm going to dwell on this

Of course *sigh*

We're a bit weird
https://awoo.space/media/Yhcy_3PuFNPWgRpTx2o