Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@troodon Ngl, you're one of the big factors that's been keeping me sane this year and I am super-grateful to know ya. *pouncehug*

So I think I'm gonna try swallowing my fear that people don't hit me up any more for a REASON, and that reason is more than just Seattle introverts being Seattle introverts. It's time to reach out.

I don't know. It's hard not to interpret every little signal as a covert "fuck off, Eeyore," when I'm in this depressive mode. But it seems to be the most honest, if not necessarily safest, option.

(Twilight Sparkle: if this fails, I blame YOU.)

I honestly don't know how to handle not having the social opportunities come to *me*. I realize I've been absolutely terrible at it, fretting over nobody contacting me, while I go months without contacting anybody.

It's hard. Peg's place is too small for comfortable visits. And I've still got a lot of self-doubt and fear lingering from The Bad Stuff last year. I don't know. I'm trying to get over it and do better. I just don't have a clear path.

I think I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and try to deal with this by injecting a little more positivity into the system.

God, this is fucking with me, though. Can you believe, I'd been living in furry collectives for TWENTY YEARS?

It's been so weird to spend all my time around one person, even if she can deal with my emotional cruft better than anyone else I've ever met. I have to work that much harder to get a balanced emotional diet.

Still having a rager of a depression, but one of my coworkers had a question about the administrative status of Berlin. I started to do the research and I feel better already.

It still scares me that, next to @anthracite, the single most likely thing to cheer me up these days is work. Maybe it *is* time to head back towards an office job.

@Oneironott Fuckin' dryads, overrunning Seattle. -_~

Our recent morning 2.0 experiment was so successful, we are declaring a pre-night today, beginning in five minutes. What would normally be 9:30 pm Wednesday will instead be 9:30 am on Double Wednesday.

Let's hope Double Wednesday will be less of an agonizing emotional clusterfuck than Regular Wednesday. Good night and see you tomorrow.

@Thaminga "Heart with stubble?!?" :O

I like that this is the top Google Image hit for "nicest cat." Clearly, I picked the right taxonomic family for my personality.

*begs for belly rubs then claws you up a little* 🐯​❤️​

There was only one thing on Earth that could break my sour mood, apparently, and I found it. I had been saving it, like a fine wine, and it's everything I could have possibly dreamed of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zen_zRmbKaM

(CW: Italians; spiders; men)

@troodon My Depressed Brain wants to pull out the fainting couch and complain that it's been like this for months, but tbh @anthracite is way too fun for me to be able to make that claim seriously. ^___^

Part of the funk is that we fought a little this morning, and I'm worried given my history of being Untenably Crusty with people when depressed. But that "fight" ended with a proxy battle between her toy dragon and my stuffed leopard, so I probably don't have much to worry about. n.n;

@CeruleanK (Oh, and even if you do fess up about taking longer than 30 days, you apparently just pay a not-too-horrible late fee. Not, like, a stint in Dragon Jail or anything. <3 )

@CeruleanK Did a little research for ya. <3 Looks like it's mostly just a technicality, the 30 days thing, and people get by it every day with the simple expedient of lying. O:) Note that the thread's a bit stale, four years old, but I don't get the impression this stuff changes much!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Seattle/comments/1ubqwl/getting_drivers_license_after_30_days_of_residence/

@troodon Started strong, brainsick set right back in. Tempted by a Morning 3.0 followed by an all-nighter. I will yet find a set of conditions under which I can still give a fuck. :|

morning 2.0 starts at 5 pm

maybe it will go better this time

who's with me

Thank god @anthracite has gotten truly gifted at snapping me out of grumpy moods, through the art of therapeutic annoyance.

Any attempt to motivate myself to work today, or go outside, or get out of bed, will probably have to involve a donut attached to a fishing pole. All non-essential non-donut-related emotions are on hold, apparently.